In desperate need of prayer

kelly_hope
on 3/26/11 11:22 am - Marysville, WA

Ok... several situations here, so I'll just jump in.

 

1. I've been my mom's caretaker every day 8-10 hours per day since her heart attack in November, then she broke her hip two weeks ago. I can't do it anymore. I have a bad back - just found out I need a spinal fusion surgery. Everything I do for her hurts so badly.

2. I have two kids at home who need me. They are 10 and 14. They care for themselves. On top of it though, they are home schooled. I have next to no time to school them! I do most of it over the phone and early early in the morning.

3. I miss my kids and my hubby.

4. Speaking of hubby, he just started the graveyard shift and he is sleeping when I leave in the morning and leaves as soon as I get home from my mom's.

I had planned to return back home to my family and what I need to do after I had wls. Until she broke her hip, she was well on her way to being able to at least partially care for herself. But then she broke her hip and now she can't do anything for herself. And she's not really trying hard either. But I still made it clear that after wls, I couldn't help. They are soooo dead set against a home nurse. 

I am two weeks away from ending my 3 month doc supervised diet and ready to move forward for approval and getting my surgery date. Then I get a call saying the insurance changed it's policy and now the diet needs to be 6 months long. I am devastated. 

On top of the ramifications of holding off my surgery, extending the diet, the heartbreak of not having it when I'd hoped.... I realized no I have no way out of helping my mother.

It sounds awful, I know it does. But I'm doing more and more damage to my spine. Even my neurosurgeon says I shouldn't be caring for her. But without the 'excuse' of wls, there is no way I'm going to be able to return to my family and care for them and care for me. I need to take care of my back. 

 

God has done some awesome stuff in our life and I'm praying more then ever, for mom, hubby, etc. I need help though. I'm freaking out. Please, please, pray.

 

Thank you.

 KELLY RNY  34yo 5'5" HW 288 SW 274 CW 188 GW 140
           
          


Hislady
on 3/26/11 11:39 am - Vancouver, WA
Well it never rains but when it pours huh? I'll definately pray for you but you also have to make some hard decisions here. I don't mean to sound harsh but I've been down the ailing parent road twice before they passed away. You aren't helping yourself or your mom by harming your health. You have to tell her she has 2 choices nothing or a home nurse. Insurance usually pays for a good portion of the charge and they can make her do the things she needs to. I'm sure with you she plays the guilt card so you comply with what she wants and she can't do that with a home nurse. There is also the posibility of assisted living my mom was more than happy to go somewhere that took care of all the housework, laundry and meals. There are ways to work financing for that also. You have to take care of yourself and your family before it causes serious problems in your own home. You aren't turning your back on your mom you are helping her take care of herself. Once you can make that decision the other problems will pretty much take care of themselves. God bless and I'll be praying for you, keep us updated!
April32
on 3/26/11 11:47 am
Kelly,
  I'm so sorry your going through all of this. I will be praying for you. And if its ok I will put you and your family on the prayer chain at my church. I'm kinda surprised your insurance company would do that. I would think that because you started this before they changed the rules you would fall under the old rules. Maybe something you can check in to.

Remember all of this your going through is for a reason. Sometimes we might not understand what God as in store for us. But when he reveils it to us...Its a wow factor!! Try and keep your chin up. You have come this far. Keep on keeping on....You will get there!

Take care
April
    
Patricia R.
on 3/26/11 1:18 pm - Perry, MI
I will pray for you for sure.  But, you have to realize that you do have an excuse not to take care of your mother any more.  Your neurosurgeon told you you have to stop.  Your Mom will have to accept that she gets a visiting nurse, and you have to take care of your health.  PERIOD.  Pray for her to understand, and if she doesn't, ask God for the strength to stand your ground. 

Sending you lots of hugs.

Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
96179

gottwins2
on 3/29/11 6:56 am
I agree with Hislady, you aren't helping anyone by hurting your own health. I will be praying for you during this time. I know it is hard. I will tell you that I had my rny on Feb. 8th and I already feel much better and my health has improved. I pray for the same for you!
Josie

Wisdom isn't simply knowledge, it's knowledge with a little age thrown in!

John B.
on 3/29/11 9:11 am - Blackstone, MA
Father we come to you in the Mighty Name of Jesus, we ask that you would place a hedge of protection around this family as they have gone through many difficulties. Lord Your Word says. Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Isaiah 43:2 When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. ( NLT )
Father I pray that you would open moms eyes , Lord help her to see the stress she is putting on Kelly's Health and Life, Father we pray for understanding on her husband and children's behalf. Father we know you are in control and Kelly's surgery will come in Your time and not ours. We know there is a reason You are allowing her to go through all this and we pray for a quick resolution to it. Father we just thank and praise you for all you are going to do in this families life. Father I thank you for the Faith and Trust You have given Kelly and I thank You for all the wonderful people who are praying for this situation. Father we Love and Praise You and we ask of all this in the Mighty Name Of Jesus Christ Our Lord and Savior.. AMEN!
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