Hi everyone.   Haven't posted because of an infection that developed after my surgery last Monday (8/17).  I thank Karyn for reposting a few of my questions i posted on the main board here and in our Changed for Life group.  Yesterday saw some real improvement in the incision when the nurse changed the dressings (I have a private duty nurse everyday to clean and repack it).  But much more pain again today and she wasn't liking the way it looked today when she changed it.  I see the surgeon in the morning. 

Basically though I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster.  Feel a little better, then worse. Worried about all that I just can;t do.  I am a single (divorced) mom of 4 kids.  They still need to be taken care of and they are doing almost everything.  My little one (he's 7) was crying tonight because he thought I was going back to the hospital. I don't know why he thought that.  Their father is no real help and lives over an hour away. 

I work as a Middle School Principal and school starts TUESDAY!  I feel so pressured to get there.  There are simply things that I have to do.  Then, I am worried about taking care of bills and groceries, and my pets, and my house. 

On top of all that, I am trying to force myself to eat and remember vitamins, etc.  Today, I didn't drink much at all and got very very little protein.  I dont want to hurt myself by messing with my requirements for nutrition.  Will a couple of days completely mess me up?  I have not gotten nearly enough in the last 3 days.  I  just feel so bad.  I am down close to 20 lbs yet I wish I'd never done this right now.  I so hope that changes.

I know I need to snap out of it.  I need to lean on Him.  Please pray for me during this time.  I want to feel better and I want to have some peace.  Thank you for letting me vent.

In Christ,
Monica

I am with you this is definatly a life changing ordeal and i have been living off Loratab elixar and i am finally tapering off. The main incision on my left side has been so sensitvive they believe that they may have affected a nerve when dialating my abdomin during surgery. It will all take time I too have lost 30 lbs since the 10th of the month due to pain and anxiousness, but you have come to the right place we are all here for support and add me as a friend and keep me updated and we will go through this journey together. I too have a house full 5kids, a hubby, and an ill father in law but as mothers and caregivers we tend to forget...............stand back and take a breath because what dosent get done today will be there tomorrow and u have to take care of yourself b4 anyone else, as hard as it may be this even includes ur children.

I too am having problems with the protein because the shakes and i dont get a long. So i have been eating string cheese, tuna packets, and chicken breast in a can.  I need to be adding my shake but i truthfully havent had time in between eat here, dont eat here,vitamins now but not with these, but just remember do the best u can and ask for help.......we are here for u.

God Bless and I cant wait til the clouds clear and you realize it wasnt a mistake just and adjustment to your new life.   On the Losers bench and we are doing good. Shoulders back head high because u can do it, I know u can because u have come too far to be defeated.
Talk to you soon,
Donna

Dear Monica,
I'm so sorry you are still struggling, but I just know it's about to change for the better! It is most important that you stay hydrated. Protein is not as important, although it does help in healing. Water, though, is a must. I would encourage you to keep a cheerful countenance around your children, even if you have to fake it. Your children may be fearful that you are going to end up back in the hospital or something worse. They don't understand things as we do, so it's important to ease their mind. They need for you to be all right, and you ARE going to be all right.
This is my prayer for you, Monica.

"Heavenly Father, I come to You in the Name of Your Son, Jesus, on behalf of Your daughter, Monica. Father, You know all about her, how she is so newly out of surgery, how she has developed an infection at the site of her incision, and how that it appears to be flaring up again. And Father, You know that Monica has many responsibilities, with her children and an important job which begins on Tuesday. Lord, Monica is having a hard time leaning on You. I know that You understand that when we are feeling low physically, it's so easy to feel low mentally and spiritually. Lord, I ask that You would reach Your Hand of Healing down to Monica, and touch her body. Father, by Your Son's stripes, we are healed. I pray that Monica will claim that, that she will believe that she receives healing right this very minute, in the Name of Jesus, and that she will not allow anything--no symptom--no whisper of the enemy--to convince her of anything otherwise, because she IS healed. Father, You have told us in Your Word to 'humble ourselves under Your mighty hand, that You may lift us up in due time' (I Peter 5:6), and You've told us to 'Cast all our anxiety on You because You care for us' (I Peter 5:7). I pray that Monica will do that--throw all her fears and worries to You. Father, You are perfect love, and 'perfect love drives out all fear' (I John 4:18). Be perfect love to Monica this very night, Lord. I pray that Monica will 'not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, [she will] present her requests to You,' and I know that if she will do that, Father, she will experience 'the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,' and that it will 'guard her heart and her mind in Christ Jesus' (Phil. 4:6-7). Father, I know that You are Monica's 'light and her salvation' and because of that, she 'shall not be afraid' (Ps. 27:1). As Monica calls to You, O LORD, I know You will 'hear her voice' and will 'be merciful to her and answer her' (Ps. 27:7).  I pray all of this in the Name of Your Son, our Savior and Great Physician, Jesus. Amen."
Surrounding You In Prayer, Through the Watches of the Night,
Mary

That was a beautiful Prayer and God Bless you

Monica:
You are feeling overwhelmed and rightfully so.  I do not think I could have done it if my kids were younger.  When I had my surgery, three years ago this week, I was living alone, with two cats.  I teach middle school and took time off at the beginning of the year, because this surgery was my #1 priority that summer.  I was hoping to have it earlier in the summer, but there were too many hoops to jump through before the approvals all went through.

I will definitely pray for you, as the infection, school, the kids, and other issues press in and try to distract you.

But, you must prayerfully ask the Lord what HIS will is for you in the next week.  Rest, fluids and calm should be your priorities.  Delegate the opening of school to others.  It will not fall apart.  I am sure that your school, like mine, as high quality assistant principals and/or teachers with administrative certificates that can handle the opening of the school year.  

As for protein, the only way I could make my goal was to drink Isopure protein drinks.  They have different flavors.  Some are yucky.  I like the grape, because it tastes like grape Kool-Aid.  One bottle has, I think, 40 grams of protein, and it counts as a liquid.  No sugar also.  I still drink them.  I got them at GNC online and in the stores.

Do you have someone helping you with your kids and home?  My mom came and stayed with me for a few weeks, till I was able to handle caring for the cats and myself without assistance, as well as drive.  Call your church and ask for help. 

I see you live in Jersey.  I live very close to Trenton, in PA.  If you are near there, I could get some of the Isopure to you to try.  Let me know.

"Father, I ask that you would intervene right now and help this dear sister find some rest and peace about this decision.  Heal her infection.  Help her with her children.  Give her peace about the coming school year.  Love her as you love your Son.  Hold her close and don't let her fret about any earthly worry. In Jesus Name, Amen."

Patricia,
Thank you so much for your wise words and beautiful prayer.  I don't live near Trenton (I'm in extreme NW NJ) but I am so thankful for you offer.  That is so sweet.  I do need to call upon friends for help ....it is hard to do but I know it has to be this way.  I have no family here a all as I am from SC originally and moved here when I got married.  I do have a church family and a school family and, thankfully, an OH family I see as well.

M

One of my hardest lessons to learn was to let people with the gifts of giving and helps minister to me.  Ironically, I have the gift of helps and mercy, so I am always trying to do for others.  Ask for help.  My church has a ministry called "House Busters" for people who get sick and can't do things around their house.  These are women who will come in and clean the place.  Let your church know of your need.  Whether it is meals for the kids, or some light housework, or just taking the kids shopping for school.  

Scripture says something about pride going before the fall. 

Hugs,
Trish

Donna, thank you so much for your words of understanding and encouragement.  They mean so much to me.  I hope too that your pain lessens ..... I understand how you are feeling.

Mary, the prayer was simply beautiful.  I am going to reread it again and try to meditate on it before I sleep.  I appreciate your wisdom too about dealing with my kids.

To both of you, thank you and God bless you.  I will post tomorrow after I see the surgeon.

In Christ,
Monica

Monica, I really have nothing else to add to what Donna, Mary and Trish said. They said it all. That is how awesome our God is that what we need and when we need it is delivered and God sends you the people you need with the words you need. I am praying for you. As I have said before God brought us this christianity forum and we need to take Him up on His word that He will give us all we need. Their are awesome prayer warriors in this group and you are being sorrounded in prayer. God Bless


In Christ
Karyn

IT'S IN THE VALLEYS I GROW
                                             by Jane Eggleston


Sometimes life seems hard to bear,
Full of sorrow, trouble and woe
It's then we have to remember
That it's in the valleys we grow.

If we always stayed on the mountain top
And never experienced pain,
We would never appreciate God's love
And would be living in vain.

We have so much to learn
And our growth is very slow,
Sometimes we need the mountain tops,
But it's in the valleys we grow.

We do not always understand
Why things happen as they do,
But I am very sure of one thing.
My Lord will see me through.

Thought this might lift your spirit...   I am praying for you!

In Christ-
Teri