Flashback Friday Devotion #11

Hi, Everyone.
In advance of today's devotion, I want to say that God spent a few days having me face the issue of repentance in my overeating, not because He was mad at me but because He knew I needed to "get it."
Today's devotion is from my personal journal dated April 19, 2007.

     I've acknowledged that overeating is a sin, because it replaces God with food. Today the Lord had me "sit" with the phrase "true repentance." I've repented of the sin of overeating, but how will I know if it is "true repentance"? That's what I asked the Lord, in prayer.
     In the past, when I thought I was repenting of the sin of overeating, I now see that I just felt bad that I had failed once again. It was not true repentance.
     The word "repent" means to turn from sin and turn to God. I looked for verses with the word "turn" or the phrase "turn away." I found 1st Peter 3:10-11, "For the one who desires life, to love and see good days, must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. He must turn away from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it." That's true repentance. It's turning from sin, turning to God, and seeking and pursuing peace.
     If true repentance means a complete turnaround, then, obviously, I haven't been truly repentant. My turning, in the past, has been half-hearted and, therefore, lacked the power to free and transform me.
     Any sin involves Satan. I was reminded of James 4:7-10, "Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you."
     It would almost be comical if it wasn't so sad that the only part of those verses I ever remember is, "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." I have ignored the "submit...draw near...cleanse...purify...be [sorry]...humble yourself." No, I've never truly repented of the sin of overeating. I've never done the work, the "hard thing," nor have I stayed the course.
     In Oswald Chambers' book My Utmost for His Highest, he says, "The forgiven man...proves he is forgiven by being the opposite to what he was, by God's grace... The old Puritans used to pray for the gift of tears... Examine yourself and see if you have forgotten how to be sorry." I cannot as yet prove that I am forgiven for the sin of overeating, "by being opposite to what [I] was, by God's grace," but how I pray the proof comes! I have not "forgotten how to be sorry." I'm sorry much of the time, but sometimes I wonder if God looks at me and lovingly says, "Don't just be sorry, my child; be different."
     The Lord just reminded me that there's a difference in being sorry and feeling self-pity. Honesty time! I've wallowed in pity more than experienced the sorrow that leads to a heart change and ends up in a behavior change.
     Oh, I want the gift of tears. I want to have purpose, and I want that purpose to be that I honor the Lord, that I magnify His grace, that I show the power of God in my life. I desire to live a disciplined life and savor the preciousness of my Jesus.
     My prayer today is a personalized version of Hosea 6:1-3, "[I will] return to the Lord, for He has torn [me], but He will heal [me]; He has wounded [me], but He will bandage [me], He will revive [me] after two days; He will raise [me] up on the third day, that [I] may live before Him...Let [me] press on to know the Lord. His going forth is as certain as the dawn, and He will come to [me] like the rain, like the spring rain watering the earth." It's the third day! Let it rain, Lord! Let it pour!

Today, consider this topic of repentance and forgiveness in your own life. Have you experienced "being the opposite to what [you were], by God's grace"?

Blessings,
Mary

Amen

Thank you for reading and replying. I love the word "Amen." It means "so be it." :)