no sure what to do

 good morning everyone!!

Christian advice needed, I have a friend that I have known since 7th grade,(we are 30 now) and she has been married 3 times, after her divorce from her first husband she got saved while attending Church with my husband and I. to give you a little bit of background on her, she was raised in a very dysfunctional family, her dad left when she was a very little girl, she was taken from her mother who was a drug addict  and raised primarily by her grandmother who although clothed and fed her was quite dysfunctional herself, she remaried quite quickly after her first devorce to a man that she asured me was a Christian, I think he wanted to be a christian but after the first year of their marriage he ended up getting into drugs and other things, so after a few years and two kids with him, she divorced him. Then not too much after her divorce from him she met a really nice man, a few years older than her, no kids, a christian, good family. She married him and then a few months later (5 months) she had a gastric bypass and since has lost 74 lbs. now her husband is a great guy, he loves her kids, they call him dad, he loves her for hwo she is even with all the baggage of her family. And he is commited to her, now she is the one who is going astray, she has become attracted to a coworker of hers, who is very much not a Godly man to say the least, she says its because she has lost so much weight that she feels attractive now and likes the attention from guys at work, she has begun clubbing with people from work and come to find out she has had "play dates" with this guy and his daughter at his house for hours at a time alone, only the kids and them. She told me she had not had an affair with him,but honestly i dont know that I can believe her, she has lied about things to me in the past. In my opinion even if she has not had sex with this person she is emotionally cheating on her husband allready. So I am at a loss as to what to do now, I dont know if I should walk away from her, if I should still try to speak into her life, or if my husband and I should just be their for her husband, after I poured my heart out to her and told her what she was doing was wrong and how I felt she acted appreciative toward me, but then  she told a mutual friend of ours that I was bible bashing her! so i dont know where to go from here, any advice,, this is a sticky situation! thanks!  

Hi.
I'm so sorry for the pain that you are experiencing right now. It's very difficult to watch someone you love go down the wrong path. Your friend is facing temptations, and, you're right, even if she hasn't had a physical encounter with this other man, she is having an emotional affair.
We are called to love. However, we must have boundaries. You can love her and pray for her, but only you can decide if you can be involved in her life right now, and, if so, how much. It is true that Jesus said, "He who is without sin cast the first stone." However, He also said to the woman caught in adultery, "Go, and sin no more." He loved her, He protected her, but He set a boundary with her.
Your friend's husband needs your support, most definitely, as will your friend's children. You may have to put yourself in the place of the prodigal son's father. He let his son do what he was intent on doing. I'm sure he prayed for his son's return. We know he was expectant that it would happen, for the Bible says, "And when [the son] was afar off, the father saw him and ran to him."
You have said what you needed to say to your friend. Now, it may be time to pull away from her, for your sake and for hers. As long as you talk to her about these things, she will have opportunity to justify her behavior and gossip about what you said and how you said it (in her view). Walking away will give her time to process what you've said. If/When she comes to you, you can be honest and tell her that while you will always love her, as her friend and as a sister in Christ, you cannot condone her behavior. Tell her that you are praying for her, and when she "comes to herself," you will welcome her back with open arms.
Part of setting a boundary is for your sake. It hurts to see and hear, over and over, what is going on. You must guard your heart. God loves your friend, and He will give her opportunities to come back to the path which she knows is right.
Keep praying. Do what you feel the Holy Spirit is guiding you to do. Find joy in living a life that is pleasing to God. Leave the rest to Him.
Blessings,
Mary

 Thank you Mary for your words of wisdom, you are right about the boundaries that need to be placed, I need to pray about how and when to set them and how to let her know that i've set them. 
Thanks again!
Michelle

Hi Michelle,
It sounds like your friend might have a problem I have had that is deeply rooted in childhood and is related to being abandoned by her father.  I have been in therapy for 19 years, working on healing a lot of pain and scars from a very traumatic childhood, including my father's alcoholism and my mom's mental illness.  My symptoms have included strongly desiring a man in my life, especially since my divorce.  I have struggled with certain sins as a result, but can say that cheating on my husband during my marriage was definitely an almost occurrence.

My suggestions are going to come from what helped me over the past 19 years.  I am 50 now, but I began therapy when I was in my early 30s. 

First, pray for her.  Pray for God to guide her to therapy, and pray for her to be willing to work on herself. 

Second, meet with her to talk  Don't talk to her about scripture, but let her know you have been praying for her and that you know she is struggling.  Share with her that you have a friend who had a lot of emotional baggage from her childhood and that she tried to fill that painful void with men, food, alcohol, and everything else, and that all left her wanting.  (Your friend is me.) 

Third, lovingly suggest she look into therapy to help her identify and heal those issues from her childhood that are hindering her from being totally happy. 

Fourth, ask her if she would like to participate in a Bible study and prayer time with you, just you. 

God bless.
Trish

 Thank you Trish for your Good advice! she has already begun seeing a therapist, but I think it is through her insurance so it is secular, she doesent seem to be very positive about it so far. Thanks again for your input!

Michelle