Devotion #19

Hi, Everyone.
It was good to hear from you yesterday, especially the new readers gained by repeating the post several times. Now, if I can just figure out when to post this!   I need to apologize, in advance, because this devotional is long. It was not written as a devotional, originally, so I never had to consider length for any audience. If you don't have time, consider printing it out, for later. Also, please keep in mind that I was a food addict. This may not be your experience, but perhaps you can relate to something or give your own input.
Today's devotion is from my personal journal dated April 27, 2007.

     This morning I was thinking about yesterday's topic of "freedom," and I began to think about its opposite, "prison," so I felt the Lord would have me to look at that.     
     I was drawn to Psalm 107:10-16, "There were those who dwelt in darkness and in the shadow of death, prisoners in misery and chains, because they had rebelled against the words of God and spurned the counsel of the Most High. Therefore, He humbled their heart with labor; they stumbled and there was none to help. Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble; He saved them out of their distresses. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death and broke their bands apart. Let them give thanks to the LORD for His loving kindness, and for His wonders to the sons of men! For He has shattered gates of bronze and cut bars of iron asunder."
     I know this is speaking of the experience of the children of Israel, but I can't help but identify with it, personally.
     These people (and I) were:
1) In darkness:  Life is dark for the one enslaved to overeating, as with any addiction. As a child of God, I am to be a light in the world, yet I have had this one dark area that I was holding on to. I believe it dimmed my light and darkened my testimony, making me less effective for the Kingdom.
2) In the shadow of death:  This shadow is a spiritual shadow. It's a dread, a fear, a pessimism, a hopelessness. It feels very dark and deathlike.
3) Prisoners:  I was a prisoner, captivated by gratifying my flesh, imprisoned by the next impulse to indulge, and unable to fight it off.
4) In misery:  Years of overeating had left me in misery. I had become lazy and lethargic, and I suffered from pain throughout my body. My relationship with God suffered and so did my body.
5) In chains:  Overeating is an addiction of "chains"--too strong for me to break. 
     Just as the reason the children of Israel were in such bad shape was that "they had rebelled against the words of God and spurned the counsel of the Most High," somewhere along the way, I did not allow the "counsel of God," through His Word, to help me. Instead, I began to depend on food to meet my needs. It was my choice, so God let me be. Just like the children of Israel, I "stumbled and there was none to help." I stumbled and fell, over and over, until the chains I chose bound me to a prison of my own making.
     My Father lovingly allowed me to get to the point where I cast myself totally on His mercy. I could not help myself, and no one else could help me. The moment I realized that the problem was not food or eating, it is a heart that yearned to worship yet had become enslaved to food, that's when I realized that only God could help me. I did just what the children of Israel did. I "cried out to the LORD in [my] trouble."
     I know God will do for me what He did for the children of Israel. "He saved them...brought them out...broke their bands apart...shattered gates of bronze...cut bars of iron asunder." Wow! Only God can do all that!
     I'm reminded of a song called Cry Out to Jesus by the group Third Day. One verse and the chorus are as follows:  [www.onlylyrics.com]

          For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
          You try to give up but you come back again
          Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
          And your suffering

          There is hope for the helpless
          Rest for the weary
          And love for the broken heart
          There is grace and forgiveness
          Mercy and healing
          He'll meet you wherever you are
          Cry out to Jesus. Cry out to Jesus.

     When God saves someone, He frees from the grip of Satan, removes the oppression (though not temptation), rescues from slavery to sin, and sets that person free. That's His part. My part is to cry to the Lord, and even if I fall, to get back up and keep crying out to Him. It's a process, and I praise God that I'm well on my way, by the mercy of God and for the glory of God!

Today, if you feel bound by any chains you have chosen, cry out to Jesus and allow Him to break those chains. Walk in the freedom He gives.

Blessings,
Mary