Some Advice? And maybe a few prayers.

I posted a few days ago, asking for prayers for my husband as he is try to get help for an alcohol addiction, after he lost control sunday night. I have only told 2 people about the incident , two very close people, but I am worried that in sharing that information was very wrong and a sin, and now God is not going to be happy with me for doing so. I am not sure If I am thinking clearly about this or if i am worrying to much, I have asked for forgivness, so maybe I just need to relax. Does any one know what the bible says about things like this? If not it is ok, just though I would ask. I would like to ask any one that is willing for a few prayers, as my husband as not made much progress in the area of getting help and I am getting very worried for him, and a bit scared. Thank you for the help and God bless you all! Melissa

Melissa, Living with alcoholism creates a need for secrecy and an air of shame. Both of those are of the devil. Scripture says we are to bear one another's burdens. The more you seek support, and get the help you need to cope with an unacceptable living situation, the less happy Satan is, and he loses control of your life. I would urge you to seek therapy if you can, and learn how to deal with the mental twists that go with living with an alcoholic. Hugs, Trish

Hi Trish, Thank you so much for the advice, I really appreciate it, I drive my self crazy some times keeping every thing in feeling like I shouldn't talk about anything and that it is wrong to. It is a huge relief to hear that I was wrong! Thank you so much for the support. God Bless Melissa

I have a slightly different perspective on this than Tri****hink you have been wrong. I think it is wrong to allow this addiciton to alchol go on for as long as it has in secrecy. Somewhere it says that if someone is living in sin they need to be confronted and encouraged to change. If they don't then more of the body need to discuss this with the individual. Seems to me that you have live in secrecy and now it is so out of control. I would be shouting it on the roof tops - MY HUSBAND IS AN ALCOHOLIC - Don't let him drag you down - lift him up. So no - I don't think it was wrong to share (unless it was just to gossip and not ask for help). Tell your husband - Chose this day whom you will serve. If he choses to serve alcohol & addiciton(satan) then you need to send him packing. If he will not leave - you must leave. Ask for help from the church. Hope this helps. IN His Grip - Sally

Hi Sally, I am trying to lift him up and be supportive, I try to talk to him about God, but he doesn't respond. I have just found God myself, and I pray for him all the time. I just keep trying to have faith that he will come to God and he will overcome this addiction. I am doing my best to help him overcome this with prayer and faith, I am just worried he will never come around. But I am also worried that if I do send him packing because he is choosing to serve Satan and the addiction rather than God, isn't that also a sin for leaving him and not standing behind him and trying to help him.....I suppose at this point I am thinking to much into it, but I do appreciate your input very much. Thanks and have a great night! Melissa

It is often difficult to offer real help on these boards and so I will offer you real prayer. A few more thoughts on your posting and please remember that I am saying these things in a hurry and so they may sound different than I entend them. I hope you can see what I am going to say is out of Christian love for a new Christian. Here we go - you say you are a new Christian, yet the moment God threw a road block in your path (denied) you became disappointed and discouraged. How is your husband suppose to see your new "faith and belief" if you become angry and hurt everytime God says "no"? Your husband is watching you - he is "seeing Christ in you" and you need to relax and accept God's timing and decisions. You need to praise HIm even when you don't get your way. Remember - God did not say "never" - He said "no". Live like your really believe that God will answer your prayers regarding WL and be open to how God choses to deliver you from that bondage. As for sending your husband packing for his drinking - I don't think I said that, but if I did I did not mean that. I meant - send him packing if he is truely a "dangerous" person. You used the words " scared or afraid". Those might mean different things to you, but for me those are words that imply "danger". God does not expect us to stay in a situation that is "dangerous" - unless he has sent us there. He has not sent you there - you chose to go there when you married this guy. But now that you are not that same person perhaps you need to leave - IF he is dangerous. Well enough for me today - I have to go to work. I will keep you in prayer - hang in there. Love Sally

Good am Melissa, I do not believe you were wrong to share your worries with others as keeping things inward only keeps turmoil going and the emotional toll that takes is at times unbearable. Speaking from personal experience until your husband is ready to help himself you will not be able to help him that way you or others think or want you to. Alcoholism is very hard and the struggles within him are tremendously. I am the type of gal who will stand BESIDE those in need and in a bit of trouble rather than stand behind them and say it's this choice or that choice. Also, I will not stand in front of them and walk away from them. I admit there are times when I have taken a separate path from some in my life but only after trying and encouraging and pursuing all the avenues I have available to me to be of support and its been hard but more often than not things have come together nicely. My point is this, we all falter and make mistakes. Sometimes we take on addictions to replace things that are missing in our lives and right or wrong we have to go/get through some tough times before we can "relax" and live life. There are things YOU can do personally/for yourself that will speak volumes with regard to showing your husband just how concerned you are about this. Remove all alcoholic items from your home, go to an AA meeting and bring home information to arm not just yourself but him and others with knowledge, pray for the strength and courage to face this head on, be supportive but use tough love often, stand up be strong and remember he HAS to help himself FIRST. We are here...reach out when you need us and even when you don't. Many prayers and hugs coming your way... Kat

Melissa, I know what you are going through and how hard addiction is on a family. My father has been addicted to alcohol and narcotics for years, they are always the victim, and always try to make you think that they are not the ones with the problem. Sometime the best thing for you is to talk about it to someone you trust, there are also meetings that you could attend being the wife of an alcoholic. I see what it has done to my poor mother and it breaks my heart she deserves better, but I love my father no matter what he does and so does she. No one can help him, he has to want help. If he is willing to get help, the two of you should go together. Look online for support groups and meetings near you, and stop beating yourself up because you need to talk to someone, if anyone understands it's God!! Good Luck, God Bless the two of you, Cindy

Hi Melissa, I hope you have prayed about this first. God will guide you through this hard time. I fully understand this kind of situation. My former husband was an alcoholic and drug abuser. He died in March of 2005 from a drug overdose. It was determined that it was an accident. He was just looking for a bigger, better buzz, but ended up killing himself in the process. It was so sad for all of us but mostly for him. I know he didn't want to be like that. Drugs and alcohol was the thorn in his side. I wish we (his family) could have done more to help him, but he truly was beyond any help we could offer. We had to turn it over to The Lord to take care of. The night he died I was on my knees in earnest prayer for him. I asked, no I begged The Lord to save my hubby from himself. To either completely heal him or to take him home so he wouldn't have to suffer with this addiction anymore. Less than an hour later the love of my life was gone. For the people in this place it often seems like there is no hope and no help. It feels like you are alone and no one cares if you live or die. It brings shame and embarrassment to the family members. Often they don't know how to deal with their loved ones addiction. Please don't feel guilt about talking to someone about your problems~we all need someone to talk to sometimes. Just be sure you don't turn it into a beat up on my hubby gossip session. I was guilty of that more than a few times. I do regret it. On the other hand if you do this out of love to help your hubby and you there is nothing wrong with trying to get help for your situation. Perhaps you can talk to your minister about it. Mine was a huge help to my children and I. The only thing you can really do is to keep constantly in prayer about it. Turn him over to the Lord, and just love him. Love covers over a multitude of sins. May God be with you and keep you always. God bless, Annette