Safe place to talk about...

...Dating? Sometimes I feel like I am the only single gal in the world...I know that's not true. I stay away from the secular singles boards because, well, they are just gross. Finding a true believer is hard on mainstream chat/message boards. Being overweight made me feel unlovable. Who wants a 360 pound lady? That negative mindset probably kept me cut off from even those men that look at the heart, not just the body. Either way, I was convinced that I would probably never get married. Now that my body is changing and I feel a lot better about myself, I consider the possibility of meeting someone. I'm curious if any one out there has experience with eHarmony? Dealing with my emotional/relationshop issues related to my weight is a whole message board unto itself!!! After such drastic weight loss, I am sure that many men and women are faced with these issues before they are really emotionally prepared to deal with them. Did I have WLS to find a husband? NO! Do I truly believe that, if in God's Will for me, I will get married someday? YES! Now what can I do to prepare myself and take the steps to making this a possibility? WHO KNOWS??? Anybody out there in the same boat??? I'm thankful I feel safe enough to pose these questions to you all. Grace comes in so many forms, thanks to Jesus' example. Thanks, Cynthia

Hi Cynthia - I don't have much experience to share with you, but I love that your heart is calling you to find a deeper relationship with the Lord around this question. I was single between 1st and 2nd marriage. I also came to know the Lord at that time. I didn't try eHarmony, but I did go to Equally Yoked for a little while. The thing that so surprised me about the local Equally Yoked group was that most of the men didn't belong to a church - or even go on a regular basis. I was very discouraged at that. I hope it was just our local group. My husband and I knew eachother for many years. We parted ways and in the year and a half that we didn't see or talk to each other, we both met the Lord. Then, we met up with each other again - with Jesus there too! We got married a little over 4 years ago, and it's been pretty good - ups and downs. When my husband met me (10 years ago) I weighed 120 lbs. He watched my weight go up and up to 252, and never uttered a word. He's loved me through thick and thin, and I have loved him likewise... only because we love Jesus! I'm glad you had WLS so that you could have a full life - abundantly - as Jesus designed. I pray that as you explore this possibility that the light of the Lord will direct your path! I pray that as you as single that you will find all your "husband-needs" fulfilled by our Lord Jesus! Take care and keep us posted on this. May God bless you and keep you today! ~Carolyn PS - awesome job on the weight loss! You look fabulous!!! 252/177/125 surgery 4/26/06 Psalm 121

Thanks Carolyn for sharing your experience, your kind words and encouraging advice. It's very motivational forme. God bless you. Cyn

Hi Cynthia, I was thin in high school and married my high school sweetheart right after graduating, so dating in the adult world was not in my experience. I gained 150 pounds while married, and my obesity was one of many factors for my husband leaving me. After my ex remarried, I tried dating, but met a jerk and a user, both through Christian websites. That was two years ago. I gave up trying, hoping I would get my relationship with the Lord on track more and heal from some childhood abuses and my divorce. Back in September, I gave it all to the Lord while on a wonderful retreat at Sandy Cove in Maryland. I told the Lord that I did not want another relationship with a man until I had my relationship with Jesus where HE wanted it to be, and that I would just trust Him for that. I know that means HE may be my only Bridegroom for the rest of my life. But, having had a not so great husband in the human form, I would rather have Jesus than any other man. It has given me some peace. I would like the benefits of a relationship with a human husband, like a shoulder to cry on, or someone to snuggle with, and a traveling companion. Until then, I have my cats and my CD player to keep me company. I hope this makes sense. hugs, Trish

Thanks Patricia. You mentioned Sandy Cove, MD Retreat center. I am thinking about going to the December weekend retreat to see David Phelps. Are you familiar with him? He was the tenor for the Gaither Vocal Band and now goes solo. He is a phenomenal singer. I am trying to turn this relationship situation over to God completely, knowing that when I'm ready, the right person will be there. Now I too share my time and love with my two cats, Dante & Lucia. Cyn

I had never head of David Phelps. When I go to Sandy Cove it is with the women from my church, and we attend a Women's Weekend. They are the most awesome times in my life with God because He always speaks directly to me while I am there. I have two cats too. They keep my life from getting too lonely. Hugs, trish

Trish this is Joan M...I used to go to Sandy Cove all the time for retreats with Calvary Chapel's on the East Coast. I always loved it there. I live in SC now and can't get there. I surely miss it though.