I am concerned!

Hello eveyone, I have something I would like to talk about. I know that I am in the right place to get answers. I pray with all my heart that none get offended by what I am about to ask or say. For I truely am saying this with respect for everyone who has had surgery. Let me back up and say that I have a concern. I have not said anything to anyone because I do not want to speak negitive, but back in 1982 I had my stomach stappled. It was back when this first came out and my doctor I think did a bad job. That is what I have thought all this time. I just thought that I got some nut case that did not have clue what he was doing. The reason I say that is that 3 months into having my surgery I got very ill. I was so sick and every time I called his office and talked to him he would say you are over eating you are over eating. I followed everything as he ask me to do. So after three days of finally hearing the same thing out of his mouth. You are over eating. I decided not to eat. I really could not for being so sick. Later that night I got worse. I called him at 5 that morning and he said again you over ate. I then told him I had not eaten in 24 hours. That I felt like I was having a heart attack. He said get to the hospital. I was admitted right away. Now here is why I thought he was a nut case. I was in there for 2 weeks. He kept running all the test and could not find out what was wrong with me. He said everything is off, your blood everything , but we can't find what is wrong with you. He said I know that it is not your gallbladder because and these were his words " I held it in my hand and it was fine". Finally after two more days he decides to run a test to see if it was the gallbladder. Guess what IT WAS!! and he said it was green when he took it out. So about 6 months after that it all went down hill and I began to gain weight again. The surgery stopped working for me. I thought it was just he did a bad job. Now that brings me to my real concern. In searching on this site I saw that there are many who even after having surgery only like two years ago are having to have the surgery revised. See I thought that the surgery now days was so much better than that. But I read and even have a friend who lost to her idea weight from 280 down to 140 and now has gotten back up to 175. Now I know that it is all about doing what we are told to do. But I thought I did that before and I failed. I really am very concerned (because I know my addiction to food and how I love to eat) I am concerned that this will once again happen to me. So am I truely surgery material??? Or am I just sitting myself up for failure again if I do not get my eating under control. I know that the surgery is only a tool but so here is another question. Have any of you had the same feelings. Keep in mind I have not even seen a doctor or gone to any classes on this. I just was concerned as I see so many once again having to have revisions. I do not want to be one of those. These are not from the Band operation. Any ideas or comments? Thank for listening to my concerns

Dear Dona, I understand your concerns and totally respect your right to ask these questions. I want to share how I approached this surgery. I abused my body with food for 20 years because I didn't know how to deal with feelings and issues of low self esteem. As an adult I went to Christian therapists and Overeaters Anonymous for years but could not change my habits with food. I ate my way up to 360 pounds because I was convinced I was a failure and could not lose the weight. When I considered having this surgery it was because I knew that within 10 years I'd be home-bound due to my weight. The first words of advice I recieved from a fellow WLS patient was "this is not brain surgery, it will not change your thoughts about food". I knew that I'd never been able to follow through on a weight loss program for more than 3 weeks, though I tried relentlessly. I would see some success, feels great, then celebrate---with food. The vicious cycle would continue and I would fulfill my predictions that I will only fail yet again. As I read profile after profile over several months of experiences post surgery, I realized that this surgery would provide me with the one tool I needed--a good length of time free from the obession of food. We know that medically the body needs 6 to 8 weeks of continual behavior modification for a habit to break (this is why most drug rehab centers require 8 week's stay). I prayed that the time this surgery would provide me after the operation to experience freedom from excessive eating would help my body and mind learn the new behavior modification. I have seen this prove true in my recovery. I have learned what the body feels like when it is not loaded down with fat, salt, preservatives, and empty calories. I try to cling to that feeling because it is a motivation for me. I also appreciate the physical effect of "dumping" because after abusing your body with food for so long, you loose the concept of "fullness" and don't know when to stop. Dumping, to me, is God's little way of letting my body remind me of what is right and wrong for my health. I try frequently to remind myself that this surgery gave me the tools I needed to learn how to eat properly and without shame or guilt. I am not perfect with my food or exercise and I know that I have to work at losing weight. Yes the first 70 lbs or so seems like an effortless gift but when the body acclimates and metabolism slows down, we have to use the pouch as a tool to regulate our eating for the rest of our lives. I do have a Christian friend who, since having the surgery in 2002 has regained maybe 40 of 100 pounds lost. She is depressed and frustrated...but she admits that she did not use the tool for what it was intended. I went into this with my eyes wide open...I know that the appetite returns and some of us don't have dumping issues with higher fat foods and sugar. What I know is that this surgery saved my life and gave me the tools I needed to get past that 3 week stage of diet/fail/diet/fail. I pray that you will benefit from other's experiences, take what you need, and leave the rest behind. God bless you and guide you in your decision to have WLS. Cynthia.

Dona - boy, I hear your concerns and they are so valid. The first thing I did when considering this was to place it at the foot of the cross. I had to lose 10% to proceed with the surgery, which meant 25 lbs. I knew that I couldn't do even that without the help of the Lord. Every step, I asked Him to close the door if this was not His perfect will for me. In addition, I went through a group called Kaiser (don't know how national they are) and the education was EXTREME! A year of classes, and a year of making changes that we'd need to live with if this was to be a permanent success. The process was thorough and fabulous! I was told to look at weight loss surgery like a marriage. Pre-op time - well, that's dating. Courting. Seeing if you can live with the changes that would need to be a part of your life forever. Wedding - the day of surgery - you'll never be the same! Honeymoon - ah - losing the weight - compliments - feeling good - lovely time! The rest of the marriage - ok - well, the weight is off and now, the compliments aren't rolling in. Can I still act like I did while I was dating - ? Keep all the good habits? What about when that gorgeous man (substitute cheesecake!) winks at me from across a crowded room? Can I maintain my commitment??? The new stomach/pouch is just a tool. I can stretch it out with abuse, or stretch out the stoma. I hope that I will be ever mind-ful that I have this little tool and I need to act responsibly around it! I hope that helps. In the end - He will help you! Proverbs 3 - in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He wil direct your path!!! Take care - {{{hugs}}} - Carolyn

Thanks for listening and answering. I know that I must trust the Lord in this. Also I am not even sure if I will be approved. But if I am it will be the Lord and I have no concern about that. I guess the thing is I failed once at this, and as I said I know how I am. See I have lost tons of weight in the past. Hundreds and I do mean hundreds over the past 30 years. But I always go back to my old ways. The longest I ever when was one year. I lost 95 lbs in about 6 months and tried for another 6 to lose more and did nothing but go back and forth with the same 10 lbs that I would lose and regain lose and regain. Finally I said forget it. Now I am bigger than I have ever been in my life. Now here is another thing with me. I do not feel bad about myself. Have nothing to blame my eating on expect I love to eat. I have search high and low trying to find why I overeat. But I find nothing. I have not had a bad life, I do not hate myself or who I am or feel like I am a nobody and just have to stuff my feelings with eating food. But yet inside I know that I do not have control over my food. I just don't. I feel out of control most of the time. The only thing that I have a problem with is that I physically can not do the things I desire or need to do because of the weight, but I really have no problem being who I am. Yes I would like to be thin, but the most important thing is to be healthy. I know that is God gives me this desire to have this surgery I will JUMP ON IT!!! But I am going to need help. That is why I believe God brought me her. So that I can get that help from people who know. Thanks everyone for taking the time to care!