Prayer Request

Hi - I can't post this on the main board cuz I don't want worldly advice. Sorry, this might be kind of long... My husband and I have been married 4 years (as of yesterday). We've been through some very hard times - related to his drinking problem. Last December, he got another DUI, totalled his work van and lost his job. He then went to jail for 3 months. We are a blended family - I have 2 kids from my first marriage (before knowing Jesus) - a daughter 15 and a son 16. My kids are in terrible shape. They have both walked away from the Lord - my son about 4 years ago, and my daughter about 6 months ago. My son is heavily into drugs - lsd. I'm working on leading him away from that lifestyle and getting him help, but he's very resistant. My daughter is depressed and is a cutter (cuts on herself - not from school). I'm getting my daughter some help and she's doing much better - seeing 2 docs and beginning to come out of her fog. The problem is that I work full time, and although my husband got another job, it's at a greatly reduced rate. He has a lot of probation requirements, and no drivers license. So, I'm running the kids around to where they need to go, and trying to help my husband with where he needs to go. I also pay all the bills and do the majority of the housework. My problem is - I can't do it all. For a Christian - this is not really a problem, cuz we all know that - of course, we can't do it all! That's why Jesus came! We got into a fight last night cuz I was trying to clean up the kitchen and he wanted to get a bunch of things out to experiment with the new Food Saver (bag sealer thing) that I got him for our anniversary. I guess, I just wanted to empty the dishwasher and get the dishes out of the sink and off the counter, so I asked him not to set up in there, but in the walk in pantry area (big!). He said I was talking to him like a child and got really mad. So I talked to my husband and told him that I really need his help around the house. He said that he would do what I tell him to do when I need help, and I asked if he would just look around the house sometimes, and think - how can I help Carolyn today? He was still mad about last night and didn't seem to hear my need. So - here's my prayer request. My husband is 44, and pretty set in his ways. He resists a lot of things. He is a Christian, but kind of a newbie since he's been drunk for most of his saved life. He's sober now - since the accident in December. But, my prayer request is that I will stop looking to him to partner with me at this time, because I believe he's just too selfish, and that I will look to Jesus to fulfill my needs - physical (energy) and emotionally. I'm really emotional about my kids, and my husband is often telling me to "tone down the emotions" when I cry over their state. He just doesn't get it, but Jesus does. I need to turn more to the Lord! Of course, I'm married for life to this man. No question there. I made a vow before my Lord, and I also love my husband. I know I have work to do in this also. So, gentle God-led advice is welcome. Thanks... Carolyn in Petaluma CA Psalm 121

Carolyn,Our friends son sent us a new CD of hymns. I love when this happens because I love singing. So now I have a whole bunch of new songs to learn. Anyway, one of them is particularly touching. It is almost sung like a lullaby: gently, softly, reverently, soothingly. The title is "Savior and Friend." These are the words: Rest of the weary, Joy of the sad, Hope of the dreary, Light of the glad; Refuge from danger, Strength to the end, Home of the stranger, Savior and Friend. Wealth of the giving, Heart of the kind, Breath of the living, Sight of the blind, Path of the lowly, Crown at the end Bread of the holy, Savior and Friend. Son of the sighing, Lamp of the led, Prayer of the dying, Life of the dead; Be my Endeavor Unto the end; Love me forever, Savior and Friend. May they be a balm for your soul You are in my prayers, Hugs, Sandyd

Thanks Sandy. It's amazing to me how the Lord ministers to us in music and song. There is a little chapel in Jerusalem - St. Anne's, and last year when I was there we sang the Chris Tomlin song - How Great Is Our God. St. Anne's has a flaw in the design where the echo lasts 8 seconds (beautiful for singing, tough to tea***** The music of our voices was so beautiful that I was sure that the angels had joined in. Thanks for the lyrics to that beautiful song! Words to cherish and remember. Love, Carolyn

Carolyn, I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you today. I will be praying for God to really take control of your situation. Please do not under estimate the power of a mothers intercessory prayer. And don't ever give up on them. I pray that you will find strength and rest in the Lord. Remember to allow yourself to be filled with His word and His people. Sometimes we give and give and give until there is no more. I really am so sorry it has gotten to this point. But there is no situation or person that God can not reach, touch and change. Well I did'nt want to go to bed with out sending you a word of encouragement. Hold on girl. God is good, even through these hard times! God bless you! Love, Candy

Carolyn, I am going to pray for you now....Father God Who knows all about Carolyn and her husband and children, I pray for your will to be done in the marriage and in their lives. I pray Father that through Your son Jesus Christ that victory would be realized today. I pray for protection for this family and that You Lord would redeem the years the locusts have destroyed and restore those years to a fruitful life in You. Help this family know the height, depth and breadth of You love for them and help them to choose You and life everlasting...help them to remember their first love Jesus and to walk in His truth and grace. May Carolyn be still before You and her husband and trust that You are working in him even when she doesn't see it. I know Lord that You are always behind the scenes working out Your plan for each of us and I know that this family is under Your ever watchful eye. Do what You do best Lord..redeem and renew. Comfort Carolyn and give her strength...let today be a day of break throughs Father, In Jesus' Most Powerful Name I pray...Amen May He Who is able reveal Himself in a new way today. In Christ's love, Joan M

Carolyn, PLEASE take this in the way it is meant. God gave you your children. YOU will be and HE holds you ACCOUNTABLE for them. Your children NEED YOU! What got them to this state in their lives? I can't judge because that isn't my place nor do I know you. YOUR CHILDREN NEED YOU! PLEASE KEEP THEM FIRST! This man is your husband and your mate, but your children are YOUR'S and they come first! NEVER put any man over your children or their needs. I don't mean this to sound harsh. YES! You married him and made a vow before God, but God does not intend you to put your mate over your children. Not that you are, but maybe he is expecting you to do this. I'm glad to hear he has been sober for 7 months. I will keep your children, you, and your DH in my prayers. I hope I don't sound too harsh.l I'm not a harsh or rude person. I'm just very concerned. PRAYING FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! Randall

Thank you ALL for your replies. They are precious words and I appreciate them. My kids are my treasures from heaven, and getting them back to being right with the Lord and in safe and sane conditions - well, that's where my focus needs to be. My husband is a good man, but not having kids of his own, he doesn't quite get it. Praise the Lord that He has put my husband in a fellowship of Godly men who can help him to understand or at least accept where my priorities need to be. ESPECIALLY, since when reading the news and looking at the biblical prophesies, He may be coming VERY SOON! Thank you again. Today, I'm giving thanks to the Lord our God, for He is good, and His love endures forever!!! Your sister in Christ - Carolyn Ecc 3:11 - He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

Carolyn, I will keep you in my prayers. I do understand how you feel about your husband.... My husband is a recovering alcoholic, only quitting after he totaled our car several years ago. There is hope for a fulfilling marriage, not just a marriage. Just don't expect a man who is set in his ways to turn around quickly and have a good attitude about it. Understand that it may take a while before he does it with a good heart. I hurt for you concerning your children. It sounds like the situation is very stressful. Does your daughter see a christian doc? I hope she continues to do better and better. As for your son, I hope that he will see his error but he wont without your help. As you know, alcohol and drugs are powerful. I don't know where you live but there is a drug treatment program that I saw on our christian channel. It is something like "appalichian teen youth camp" I really cant remember except it was in WV and the name included appalachian (spelling couldn't be worse). Maybe you can find it on the internet. It is a year long treatment process but is christian based. It has a MUCH higher success than secular treatment. It has something like 8 in 10 stay clean, verses 1 in 30 in secular. treatment. Does he still live at home? Maybe you can get him in this treatment and he can turn to God again. Our pastor says that we should pray without ceasing. Although I cant say that I do that, I am trying to do better. You WILL be in my prayers. God does perform miracles. God bless you and comfort you. Lisa

Hey Carolyn! I am just catching up on some posts. You have received a lot of good advice from others. I just wanted you to know...you are not alone. I have been through some of the things you are going through. God never promises he will make it easy. I learned that the hard way. But...if HE brings you to it...HE will bring you through it! Nothing we go through...whether good or bad...is by accident. Often there are people who question God "why me?" I did that at one time. But...I learned...that God is there to comfort us...and we go through things...so that we can comfort others. I will be praying for you and your family! Love, Stephanie