Edgar A. Poe fans might think this is funny!
Abort, Retry, Ignore
Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, still I sat there doing spreadsheets. Having reached the bottom line I took a floppy from the drawer, I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the disk to store, Only this and nothing more.
Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring, fearing, Doubting, while the disk kept churning, turning yet to churn some more. But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token. "Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!" One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more, Just, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?" 
Was this some occult illusion, some maniacal intrusion? These were choices undesired, ones I'd never faced before. Carefully I weighed the choices as the disk made impish noises. The cursor flashed, insistent, waiting, baiting me to type some more. Clearly I must press a key, choosing one and nothing more, From "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
With fingers pale and trembling, slowly toward the keyboard bending, Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored, Praying for some guarantee, timidly, I pressed a key. But on the screen there still persisted words appearing as before. Ghastly grim they blinked and taunted, haunted, as my patience wore, Saying "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
I tried to catch the chips off guard, and pressed again, but twice as hard. I pleaded with the cursed machine: I begged and cried and then I swore. Now in mighty desperation, trying random combinations, Still there came the incantation, just as senseless as before. Cursor blinking, angrily winking, blinking nonsense as before. Reading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted. Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor. And then I saw a dreadful sight: a lightning bolt cut through the night. A gasp of horror overtook me, shook me to my very core. The lightning zapped my previous data, lost and gone forevermore. Not even, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
To this day I do not know the place to which lost data go. What demonic nether world us wrought where lost data will be stored, Beyond the reach of mortal souls, beyond the ether, into black holes? But sure as there's C, Pascal, Lotus, Ashton-Tate and more, You will one day be left to wander, lost on some Plutonian shore, Pleading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?" 
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
Was this some occult illusion, some maniacal intrusion? These were choices undesired, ones I'd never faced before. Carefully I weighed the choices as the disk made impish noises. The cursor flashed, insistent, waiting, baiting me to type some more. Clearly I must press a key, choosing one and nothing more, From "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
With fingers pale and trembling, slowly toward the keyboard bending, Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored, Praying for some guarantee, timidly, I pressed a key. But on the screen there still persisted words appearing as before. Ghastly grim they blinked and taunted, haunted, as my patience wore, Saying "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
I tried to catch the chips off guard, and pressed again, but twice as hard. I pleaded with the cursed machine: I begged and cried and then I swore. Now in mighty desperation, trying random combinations, Still there came the incantation, just as senseless as before. Cursor blinking, angrily winking, blinking nonsense as before. Reading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted. Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor. And then I saw a dreadful sight: a lightning bolt cut through the night. A gasp of horror overtook me, shook me to my very core. The lightning zapped my previous data, lost and gone forevermore. Not even, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
To this day I do not know the place to which lost data go. What demonic nether world us wrought where lost data will be stored, Beyond the reach of mortal souls, beyond the ether, into black holes? But sure as there's C, Pascal, Lotus, Ashton-Tate and more, You will one day be left to wander, lost on some Plutonian shore, Pleading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
I LOVE IT!!!! AWESOME AND THEN SOME!!! Who wrote it????
I am a big POE NUT! I am in NC, and we have some brothers in the area who do make up in Hollywood (lots of things, have even got an Emmy for some of their work), every September they come here and have The Hollywood Horror Show. They take the profits and put it back in to updating and adding on to the show. (Just a little bit longer and this story will make sense!! 
) The first year I went they had Edgar Allen Poe Jr. there doing readings from his Great...(Numerous greats) Grandfather! It was one of the best experiences of my life (a simple to please girl)!! He wore period clothing and wore his hair and mustache exactly like Poe. Man, they could have been TWINS! Of course, he did the Raven, and bits of The Pit and of Masque of the RD. His voice was exactly how I percieved in my mind how Poe would sound reading it!!
If you ever get a chance to see him, I totally recommend it! We got to talk to him afterwards and get autographed pictures. We kinda monopolized his time but we weren't being selfish. We ARE in a rural part of the South, and there weren't to many willing to sit out in some cold woods on the ground to listen to literature being read. Sad but A truth!! OK, will shut up now I am babbling!
Anyhoo, but thanks a bunch for the parody!!!
) The first year I went they had Edgar Allen Poe Jr. there doing readings from his Great...(Numerous greats) Grandfather! It was one of the best experiences of my life (a simple to please girl)!! He wore period clothing and wore his hair and mustache exactly like Poe. Man, they could have been TWINS! Of course, he did the Raven, and bits of The Pit and of Masque of the RD. His voice was exactly how I percieved in my mind how Poe would sound reading it!!
If you ever get a chance to see him, I totally recommend it! We got to talk to him afterwards and get autographed pictures. We kinda monopolized his time but we weren't being selfish. We ARE in a rural part of the South, and there weren't to many willing to sit out in some cold woods on the ground to listen to literature being read. Sad but A truth!! OK, will shut up now I am babbling!
Anyhoo, but thanks a bunch for the parody!!! 
Kim Most Active
Recent Topics
