30 pounds from surgery and my husband cheats and wants a divorce

My boys and husband did the cleaning, and laundry ( I can fold but its in the basement where I don't have access)  I cook for myself in an electric frying pan or drink shakes when no one is available to help get me what I need to cook.

Kids are tired of doing anything, hubby gave up on all of us obviously a long time ago.  Our anniversary is next month and I asked him if he could just skip that weekend going to visit his gf and he couldn't even say yes.  Wow.... I just need to pretend he doesn't exist cause it sux so much.

If I didn't have kids ..... geez

Awww you will get so much better!  Let him go so that your new life can begin opening up.  You must believe and work toward it.  You will not believe what you were in when you get the chance to look back after gaining physical freedom.  Really you do not need him.  

Bless him, wish him well, and send him on his way.

Many blessings.

I know I don't "need" him.  I don't need anyone except God and my kids who are teens and don't "need" me driving them nuts so to speak, lol.  But really its about loving being part of a team.  I loved having someone to wake up to, to run errands with, to talk about my day with my dreams, my hopes for the future, to talk about the kids with, someone just there... you know?  Now all I see in my future is an empty space. 

I was in an abusive relationship for 10 years before my marriage and he was the first person to make this BIG girl (350 then) feel beautiful, sexy, and just really special and wanted.  Now he is the same person making me feel unattractive (because why cheat if you think your wife is beautiful?) and just really crappy.  I cant even imagine some guy wanting to marry me with three kids with some issues and all that I come with.  And I feel sad for all the things that we would have enjoyed together like grandchildren, buying a home, traveling...we were going to be out of debt in about a year and I had been building our credit.  Now he is paying everything late to go see his GF.  He left us with $100 for a weeks worth of groceries for the whole family (5 people) and he took $100 for a day and a half with his whatever you want to call it.  And if I complain its WHO HAS THE JOB.  UGH

But I need to deal with all of this because I really need help until after the surgery.  So I am in this depressive state, living with someone who was the love of my life who suddenly cant stand me for some unknown reason, and I have to live like this until....... until my surgery, Until I can heal, until the divorce, until I can pay the bills on my own, OR until he goes back on his word and walks out and screws us over even more. 

All I have been doing is praying and crying and then I may have a few moments that its okay but that's until someone says the wrong thing and Im instantly so fragile I don't know what to do.  And everyone is like we are here, we love you...but not to be a jerk....none of that is going to pay my bills and that's my biggest worry.

Thankfully eating has been okay.... It could be a bit better but its hard to rush towards a goal that at the end you lose your husband for good.  Meanwhile his parents are begging me not to do a divorce even though he asked for it.  They think he will turn around...I DONT.  Cant I just win a million dollars and relocate? LOL

I am sorry to hear what is happening to you. I don't know what state you live in but if you file for disability your lawyer doesn't get paid until you win. they take a chunk of your back pay. Social security gets their cut too. FILE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It may take a while to get it. And don't be too discouraged when they deny you. They will most generally deny everybody first time. DO NOT GIVE UP THOUGH!!!!!!  You can do it.  Get a lawyer. I hope this info helped. Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!

I'm very sorry this is happening to you.  You must start protecting yourself...right now he says he will support you and his check is being deposited in a joint account...but that could change overnight.  You need a Social Worker who can help you by directing you to various agencies set up to help you.  I don't know where you live, but my state (MA) you dial "211" and it connects you to someone who can provide names and numbers of state agencies.  At least make phone calls so you know what you have to do when the time comes.  Don't rely on him because one day he may be up and gone.

When one of you files for divorce, you'll probably have to request temporary alimony/child support. 

I expect you will qualify for disability, and if your children have disabilities, they will be eligible for SSI.  It doesn't matter how much you have made in the past, there is a minimum amount they would be eligible for.  My daughter had a social worker who helped guide her through various programs available.  There are so many programs for women and children in your situation, and you have to get information to avail yourself of the benefits available.

Again, I'm sorry you're going through this -- especially the fact that you were blindsided.... Keep in contact with your out of state family and anyone else who can give you emotional support.

You are obviously a strong woman -- you know you will get through this.  Of course, it won't be easy.  I hope you'll make calls to get as much information as you can as to available programs so you can take action immediately when the time comes.  As I said, right now he feels he is in control and he might pull the rug right out from under you again by suddenly moving out...you can't predict what he will do.

God Bless you, he will keep you safe and strong.  Feel free to PM me any time.

Mary

You are correct on the kid part. If approved they would get most likely 742 a month. I think the max for SSI is 808.

How are things going now? I hope you are taking care of your health.