30 pounds from surgery and my husband cheats and wants a divorce

Are there any family members you can stay with while you get back on your feet? My children both have special needs. To be able to take care of their medical bills and our daily needs, we moved in with my mom. Someday I hope to move out, but for now this works.

My mom is just coming out of major surgery from cancer, my dad works 3 jobs both are in their mid 60's.  My sister has four jobs now I think....very busy family.  My husband did say he would stay for the surgery and that he knew I would have healing time and we didn't have to file for divorce until I had a surgery date. 

I wish someone in my family had a big enough place, really it would be great.  My cousin has a beautiful place but its only a small apartment, I would love to move in with her but not exactly close to my doctors either.

Hopefully even though there were lots of lies and deceit in the past few months, hopefully hopefully hopefully he will actually follow through and not lie about being there for me with this surgery.  All I have to do is KEEP losing weight or he will most likely bail on me.  so far I have lost at every weigh in, the next one is two weeks away so I really have to push.  So scary to be on someone else's timeline.  Its like I have to rush through surgery, and healing, so he can push me through this rushed divorce, so he can rush off to his girlfriend and leave us with zero.  Yes I will be thinner but for what? UGH.... sorry...im having a moment.

I do have a gf that if I asked she would probably take time off to be with me because she had the bypass done.  So if my husband bails I will contact her or my cousin and try to have someone in here that will help me. 

I so appreciate your words of support and encouragement...these are hard times but with God all things are possible, right??  I just keep praying for guidance and peace.  :)

I wish you the best. Focus on getting stronger and healthier. I took things one day at a time when I was losing weight. It's hard to believe it will be 7 years tomorrow since my surgery. My life has completely changed for the better and so will yours. Focus on YOU!!

Many states will allow alimony if can be proven not having it will lower the standard of living you are used to. You have to start looking into what can help you. Get in touch with a human service agency. Get your name on a section 8 waiting list. I work for the local office of aging and believe it or not part of my job is to take information calls. People of all ages call and get information from me on what resources there are there to help them. So see if they have this around you. 

I also went through surgery completely by myself, with remote emotional support.  It's quite manageable, even with an open incision.  You just have to pre-plan, but it is definitely doable.  I was 400 lbs the day of surgery.

I grew up as a very independent person and I really loved the feeling, but after 18 years of being with someone you start to learn to lean on them and depend on them so this is a whole new ballgame.  I mean of course all of this is very fresh and new and ugly...trying to deal with the drama of kids being very upset, and the "husband" being cold and distant because of course we are all keeping him from spending all of his time and money on his girlfriend. UGH

So, its a scary new world with three kids and a very expensive household to run.  One day at a time and I am working on trying to lose weight and keep my sanity. Its not easy, LOTS and LOTS of prayer, time with God and just trying to focus on moving forward and not on what he is doing, where he is, or anything...which is so hard.  I totally appreciate the encouragement from everyone here though it REALLy does help!!!

Since you mentioned God. Are you affiliated with a church? Reach out to them. A lot of churches give helping hands. Even if it is support. 

First off, I am so sorry this is happening to you. Second, don't do anything concerning a divorce. If he wants to do something let him  do it, when you need to you can respond to it. Take care of yourself, and keep heading towards surgery. If he has a moment of compassion and you can have a discussion, ask him to wait to do anything until after the surgery and you are well on your way to recovery. If he wants his children taken care of, you need to be in a good place health-wise. Hoping for the best for you.... take care of yourself!

He did say he would wait for that which is one good thing. I keep trying to zone out and just focus on me and the kids but the sucker punches happen when I think of being alone all the time with no one to talk to during the day or late at night.   My heart is just so heavy.  

I went through a divorce many years ago. It is a difficult time, and I always say a time of temporary insanity. People say and do things they wouldn't normally because they are under incredible stress. I remember many evenings laying on my bed ans staring at the ceiling because I didn't want to sit in the living room and watch TV with him. No Internet then :). You are going to get to the other side of this and start living. Keep your eye on the goal which is health and life for you. You can't help your children if you are not healthy.