Went into my doc's office the other day

My bariatric doctor does other digestive health surgeries so his office has many different patients in the waiting room usually.  I checked in and sat down.  This woman, I'd say in her late 50s, is sitting next to me and pats me on the knee.  She says "Its good you are finally getting help".  Then goes back to her magazine.  I was dumbfounded.  The receptionist was, too.  I just stammered a smile and thanked her.  I get it.  I'm huge.  And i'm sitting in a bariatrics office.  Conclusion drawn.  But holy hell, I have never had so much southern backhand served to me in my life!  I literally sat there for 5 minutes waiting for my appt attempting to not cry.  Finally I told the receptionist I needed to use the restroom.  I had a little cry, calmed myself, came out and headed back for the waiting room.  While there I stopped at the water cooler before sitting down.  I sit back down in my chair and the witch says "Do you drink a lot of water?  You will need to drink a lot to lose the weight.  You'll want to get educated so you don't end up not losing any weight."  I almost opened my mouth and I hear the receptionist say "Mrs. Hop, lets bring you back now."  I have a feeling it was to get her out of the waiting room.  

I have thought about it for the past couple of days.  Everything she said is correct.  She wasn't wrong at all.  But the "calling out" in public by someone I don't know felt like an absolute violation.  It almost confirmed what I feel like is going on in everyone's minds when they see me.

"There's a failure"

I can't wait to have surgery friday, and i am not afraid to say that one of my main goals is to not feel that judgement when I walk into a room anymore.

This is horrible that people say things like this to us.  I am so sorry this happened to you!  It does make a person want to cry.  We DO get that we are heavy.  People like this need to keep their opinions to themselves!  So rude!  I remember one moment I had like this.  I was at my heaviest weight of 378 pounds and had to get on a plane.  Originally, I had a set by my husband and son, but something happened, we overslept, and missed our original flight.  I ended up having to sit by the window along with an older lady and her husband.  When I got to the aisle, they were already seated.  The woman took one look at me and I could see the disgust on her face.  I was shamed.  When they got up so that I could get to the seat by the window, she said to me, "I hope you will fit in that seat.  This is a six hour flight!"  Right there in front of everyone boarding the plane.  In front of my husband and my children.  I was so embarrassed.  I just mumbled something, I dont even remember what it was, and sat down, and of course had to ask for a seat belt extender.  I sat there like a bull the whole trip, did not speak to her, looked out the window, and cried silently for almost the whole trip.  It probably was the most embarrassing situation I had to endure.  I wouldn't even take water or snacks from the attendants.  For six hours on that plane.  I was about to die of thirst by time it was over!! lol  

I feel for you.  I wish people would be more kind to others, unfortunately, we always have those people to contend with.  You are on your journey!  Don't let this petty woman get in your way!  Good luck with everything!  I have come to learn that people like this...THEY are not worth our time.

trsinhawaii- Your plane experience was awful. It reminded me SO much of a really bad one I had. I had never been on any BIG vacations in my life. We had car rides to theme parks with family for a couple of days stays, but none involving HUGE plans. Until a Rick Springfield fan cruise in 2009. Having met (online) a fellow Rickfan that was in lived a few counties over, my then 16 year old daughter and I decided to take the "once in lifetime chance" and do the whole thing. So we all booked together (cheapest due to tiny budgets) and had everything arranged where we 3 was booked for each of our planes in the same row, neither her nor I could do the 2 seat thing even though we REALLY needed to. I was about 370 at the time, and she was good sized too. The way there was great, the cruise was FABULOUS, even though naturally the size thing made many mobility parts difficult. We had several concerts and one beach party concert that was at a Mexican beach. I normally avoided getting in public that way, but hey these people would not see me again. So decided to LOVE it. But the beach was natural and so the sand had a high amount of coral and other natural things that ended up basically putting dozens if not 100s of microscopic cuts into the soles of my very tendered and always babied feet. I had not realized that COULD  and had happened till later after getting home and finally figuring out to cover the soles with betadine to heal them. They were by that time VERY swollen and red on the bottom. Anyway the coming back part was a nightmare. 1st off when docking, our travel buddy promply was arrested for some lame bench ticket (for stupid thing like non paid parking ticket or such) This meant that her seat on the planes were sold. our 1st 2 planes was not a problem. BUT at the stopover in Atlanta holy cow. There was mechanical problems which they made us literally run (me painfully silently crying as hobbled from the weight and the infected swelling feet) we have to board another plane, seated before others together and the guy that was supposed to have my daughters seat was cool with us staying together in that 2 seat with my fat spilling over. He ended up by a normal weigh person. Then THAT plane had problem and they unboarded us to RUN to catch another again on opposite side of airport. They then had fixed the 1st plane and just as we were about to board they SENT US BACK to a gat 2 gates from where we got off at the very beginning. We finally boarded out LAST plane 5 hours late, and had to have been as many of not more miles hobbling. Daughter and I was separated to our "proper" seats. I got stuck beside a skinny grumpy woman who complained to the flight attendant and ALMOST got me KICKED off the plane because I was too fat and over flowed into her side. I am deaf and communication is hard for me. My daughter had not realized exactly what was going on as she was a couple rows ahead on other side and could not hear the "whispers" from the irate one and the attendant. When I realized I explained THAT was the reason my daughter and I had not gotten in the "proper" seats to start with. She was supposed to sit with me before they resold the travel companions seat. The attendant asked the sourpuss finally understanding the problem, if SHE would like to trade with my daughter (and end up by the decent looking thin man who didn't mind) she was still kinds ticked off the SHE had to move. But did. Finally we get to fly home, late, hurting physically and emotionally, many, MANY hours late. Other than the terrible time getting home, I did love the trip. I just really wish I could delete the parts coming home from memory.

Hey Rickfan!  First of all, I would have LOVED LOVED LOVED going on that cruise!  I love Rick Springfield's music!  I remember watching him on General Hospital. lol  I have seen a lot of concerts, but never one of his :( 

Just reading about your plane issues seriously stressed me out.  I am not sure how you made it.  I always get total anxiety before getting on a plane.  I hope all of that changes.  I don't have to wear a seat belt extender anymore so that is a plus.  I no longer freak out about getting on a plane, but still have some small anxiety issues.  Maybe that will change over time.  For all of us!

Strangers can be awful.  Family can be even worse.

My stepfather-in-law, who is SMO, recently said to me "I used to feel so sorry for you when we would go out to dinner."  

Not only is he SMO, but so are his two daughters.  I can't envision him saying something like that to them.  And one of them is larger than I ever was.  

Do I think he meant it with malice?  No, but it was devastating to hear.  I've never had any issues with him in the past, but found out recently that he was upset about something I posted on my Facebook page.  The man is 84 years old and doesn't understand how FB works.  He thought I was posting something directly to my MIL to upset her.  Even after his daughters explained to him several times that it was not a personal attack, that's how FB works, etc., he was still in a tizzy.  I eventually deleted him as a friend because I don't want to upset this old man.  I now wonder if his comment was somehow a backhanded way to insult me over this stupid FB thing.

As they say, "Living well is the best revenge."  I look at him, his family and feel positive about what I've done for myself.   

I'm so sorry that happened to you. What a horrible thing to say to someone.  Some people have no boundries and some people have egos the size of Texas, and it sounds like she had both. 

Something similar happened to me about 5 years ago.  I had just lost about 50 pounds (which still put me over 300 lbs mind you) and I was feeling great about myself as I stood there in a Starbucks waiting for my decaf coffee, when out of the blue an older woman comes up to me and hands me a card and says "I used him, he's fantastic and he does discounts around insurance."  She walked away, I put the card in my pocket, got my drink and the whole time I was thinking it was some beauty treatment or whatever, until I sat down and pulled out the card.  When I read it my heart sank.  It was for a bariatriac surgeon who specialized in SMO patients. 

WHAT THE HELL LADY?  Didn't she know I just lost 50 lbs?  Didn't she see I was perfectly happy with myself?  Didn't she get that I just got this skirt in a smaller size and I looked cute af that day?  Obviously the answer was no to all of that, but then I turned over the card.... and she had written a little note.  I don't remember the exact words now (as I've actively tried to forget the whole thing), but it was something along the lines of you are a beautiful young lady and you have your whole life in front of you and see this as an opportunity (blah, blah, blah).  I was so angry.  Again, nothing was a lie, and I genuinely think she was trying to "help," but omg it was just so unnecessary and rude.  And what made it worse was she was a patient, which means she too was once SMO.  So she didn't lose the weight, she traded it in for a soapbox and now she hands out her surgeons cards in public to all of the SMOs she wants to help.  Or maybe I'm special and I just inspired her.  Either way, the whole thing sucked and left me angry for days. 

It still makes me mad when I think about it.  (grrr, grumble, stupid lady)

Hi, I am new to this forum and have just began the process for approval for the surgery.  Could you tell me what the initials SMO mean?  Thanks

From context, I think it is Super Morbidly Obese. 

I absolutely hate, hate, hate being stared at in public like I am a circus freak! Also hearing rude comments that people have absolutely NO RIGHT to make.  That woman should have kept her mouth shut. 

Glad to see you posting again.