I have nobody and need positive conversation. BMI - 54.

Hey. I'm new to this whole group thing. I have been going about this process all on my own, finding information and getting in contact with doctors. My BMI is 54 right now. I have just made my one-on-one consultation with the doctor I am hoping will perform my surgery. I am planning on getting gastric bypass. I will know more when I see the doctor in Jan. Jan. 5th is my appointment. Last week I went to my third information seminar and all week I have been doing research and I made my appointment yesterday. I am getting extremely excited for this consultation. I really hope everything goes good in this process and smoothly and I will be able to get my surgery sometime around July. Obviously, I will keep updating. I need people in my life who have my back and appreciate what I'm trying to do. I have shared the fact that I'm getting this surgery with four of my friends/family members. Only one of them are being positive and helpful. I feel the others are downing me and being extremely negative. I'd love advice and information and just to be able to talk and have conversations with people who understand what I'm going through. 

Hi, you should find this site a daily source for education and advice.  I used all six months of the waiting period to prepare for WLS whi*****luded losing weight beforehand.  One thing I'm glad I didn't do was to watch videos of the procedure--it's scary enough without the images.  My greatest advice to you is seeking counseling both before and after. I believe the super morbidly obese tend to have bigger issues to overcome sometimes.  Counseling helped make me stronger during the adjustment period. 

Hey. Thanks a bunch. I have looked up videos of the procedure but they do not make me scared. I am a visual person and like knowing what's happening while I'm under and unable to see what's going on. I know that I will be getting counseling after the procedure because I am having very mixed emotions about the whole thing. I for sure want the procedure and am not going to change my mind but I am very scared. The things I'm scared of are probably silly to some so I know that counseling will be a good thing for me. It's really hard for me to open up to people about things because I'm just not used to having people I can rely on. My friends and family are all very needy and I am the backbone so they do not ever ask me about my problems, only tell me about theirs. 

I too have had negative experiences telling people about my surgery. (I'm just in the very beginning stages like you.) More than a few times I've heard, "Oh I've known ppl who have had that done and they gained all their weight back," even from my own sister, who's a nurse! Now I'm very choosy about who I tell. And I'm learning not to listen to the negatives. I've done a ton of research, like it sounds you have done, and am positive about my decision, also like you are. I'm sorry there aren't more supportive people in your life. That really sucks, but this site is awesome for support and ppl who are positive. Is there a WSL support group thru the surgical program you've enrolled in? That would give you so much support!

Hang in there! You've got at least one person who's got your back. 

Becky

Thanks so much for the reply, Becky. I am not sure if there is a support group through the surgical program. If they have one, it's probably close to their office, in the same city and I have to drive a pretty far distance to get to my appointments so I can't really afford to go their for support groups as well, sadly. It's about two hours there and two hours back, so lots of mileage racking up. Worth it, but I just can't swing the gas for support groups. I am finding this website extremely helpful for the most part. I have been told different negative things and I have realized that my "friends" are not very good friends. A few people I've talked to recently have been very supportive. Two of my classmates that are actually a lot younger then me and my friends have been very helpful, a few close friends are routing for me too. I've just had a lot of negativity and criticism from people I expected to be happy for me I guess. I'm over it now... but the support from the site is so great. I don't care anymore. I have learned to let go of the people who can't be happy for me and be uplifting and just move forward. I'm doing this for me and that's all that matters. I AM getting this done and I don't care what they have to say about it. I hope everything if moving along great for you? You can message me if you want to talk more and our journeys!

I agree with selhard on the counselling, for me it has been important. As far as support I have been blessed. I am sure it would have been hard without it but totally doable.  I did this so that I would live longer. I sincerely believe that with 200 excess pounds I was not long for is world. There is so much information here on OH as well as some very kind kind individuals that will tell you like it is. I hope you find some support out there. Maybe try looking for a local WLS support group. I know there are some in my area. There is nothing like support from wls peers. You can always msg me and we can chat.

Happy Holidays!

Mo

I am def. for counseling. I have very little support. I have told a few people and only two people have been supportive. I feel like the people in my life want me to stay overweight because it makes them feel like they have something over me. My friends always say things like "You'd be so much prettier than me if you were skinny." One of my oldest friends even tells me that if I ever get skinny, she won't want me to be around her boyfriend. It gets really frustrating because I know that they think they are better than me because they are skinny and they don't want to see me succeed. I have very high confidence in my appearance and do not want to lose weight because of my looks. It's all about my health and my future and my sons future. Everyone always thinks it's about looks and tried to make it about that. Almost everyone has urged me to not get it and continue to say, "You don't need to lose weight." They just don't understand because they are all skinny and they don't get it. They don't get the facts that if I don't get this weight off, it'll literally be the death of me. Only two people have supported me through this. I'm very glad I found this site. I do not think there are any local groups. I have looked and came up empty but will continue to look and maybe my doctor can point me in the right direction. 

You will find that here my friend. I am new here also but the community is really welcoming! Remember that your making the right decision and your doing this for you so dont let anyone talk you away from making a good decision for yourself. What do you find to be the biggest struggle in your journey this far?

Thank you! I will not let others discourage me! I KNOW 100% that this is what I want to do. I won't change my mind. I am sure I have not even begun to deal with the real struggles of this journey. I am still at the very beginning and have a long road ahead of me. What about you? What part of your journey are you at? 

I just got my first visit with the surgeon and dietitian on 12/31. So if all things go well im looking at about 5 more months until I go from pre-op to post-op! Im very excited... Even as i sit here at work and think about how bad my back hurts... I like the notion of posture because when you have a large stomach you cant really get close enough to the desk to see you monitors very well so now im forced to lean in a bit which makes my back hurt all the more... lol. Such is life! Have you gone to your information seminar yet?