scared to schedule and appointment

I found out insurance would not cover anything.  So due to the love of a family member they will pay for me to have surgery.  Now i am scared to death.  I have dreamt about this for years and never thought it would happen.  All of a sudden I am wondering if this is the right choice.  Last Dr visit I was 352 and I am 5'8.  High blood pressure, sleep apnea, depression, anxiety, bad knees, always tired, swollen feet and legs and out of breath.  I never thought I would feel this way.  I should be jumping for joy!  Why do I feel the need to hesitate when I am so close?  Doesn't help my i havent told my husband.  He is not a fan of surgical weightloss.  Has anyone else felt this way?

I know exactly what you mean. I've been on OH since 2008, but only now am I pre-surgical and working my WLS team. It took me a long time to quit smoking - I suspect at least one reason for that (the quitting cig dance) was my fear of taking that BIG step into the pool.

I was afraid on infection - I've had 2 abdominal surgeries in my life (at 25 for fibroids and 50 for umbilical hernia) and both times I had infections. But now that I see the use of drains and stuff, that worry is lessened.

I was also dragging my feet because I didn't want to admit I couldn't lose weight with out surgery.

Your hesitation might also be due to this big leap forward over an obstacle. You are suddenly closer, faster than you had planned. Do talk with your hubby. I make sure to mention it when we see someone on TV who has had successful wLS, such as Al Roker, Roseanne and Cory from Pawn Stars.

Good luck to you.

Thank you for the reply.  I think you were right when you said you didnt want to admit you couldnt do it without surgery.  I am also fearful of hearing the negative comments from people who don't agree with my decision. The fear of having possibly in the future having to explain my decision. or honestly defend my decision.  In my mind i was thinking of having cards to give to the haters so I could walk away.  Such  as " I am sorry you do not agree with my decision.  It is afterall my body and my life and I did what what I thought was necessary to prolong my life.  Sorry you do not agree with my choice."   Then I think I shouldnt have to defend myself to anyone.  It is no ones business but mine.  I see my mother at 76 still struggle with her weight she still walks daily and watches her diet and is still over weight.   I will talk to my husband soon.  After Thanksgiving I think.  I dont know if he would bring it up at Thanksgiving but I dont feel his family has any reason to be part of the desicion making process. (he has 2 sisters who are RN's)

Again I appreciate your reply

My experience has been a bit different in what I was fearful of. I was afraid I was going to be dead by 50. I was 44 when I requested my surgery and weighed 332lbs at 5'2". I really don't care what others think about my choice to have surgery. It isn't really my business what they think. I have only run into 1 person who has said anything negative about my choice. I do not lie when asked how I did it. I tell them I had the surgery and then what it takes to lose the weight, it isn't magic and takes hard work. I am happy with my decision and I did it so I could live and enjoy my life. I too had sleep apnea, depression, anxiety, bad knees, swollen feet and legs, and I could barely make to my car that is parked about 100 feet from my front door. Now I feel so much better physically and mentally. I have so much energy I don't know what to do with it all. I still have bad knees but I can walk and exercise with them. I still have depression but that is just something that I deal with through counseling and medication. I wish you the best. It is such a personal decision but I am glad that I did this. Have a great Thanksgiving!

I was ready. My mom and I have talked about this surgery since I was 16, then at 24, i actually wanted to go through with it. I even had a doctor recommend that I do it soon!  When I told her this, she said, "Well, why don't you try those new pills first?" Broke my heart. Ill be off of her insurance in September, so I don't have long.  Now, I admit I am terrified of actually scheduling my surgery, but I am more afraid of living my life to please everyone else than for myself or my God. 

I saw that you're having surgery with Dr. Macik - I'm in Atlanta also (my surgeon is William Johnson at Emory Johns Creek). I just wanted to say hi and wish you luck in your pre-op journey. Being nervous/scared about a life-changing decision is only natural, but having surgery was hands-down the best decision I've ever made.  It took me quite a while to go from seeing the need to have surgery as some sort of defeat on my part to seeing it as an absolute blessing. (I started the process at 323 pounds at 5'3" - BMI of 57.)

Hi, that's awesome! Thank you! My first appointment with him is January 5th, and I feel ready. I'm going through Northside because my insurance requires a center of excellence and Emory had a program fee I believe. I had already started the process in Florida and then we moved, so another program fee wasn't an option right now. Thank you so much for your encouragement! 

It's totally normal to feel a little scared, but all the symptoms you listed it seems scarier to have those & it would be terrible to live a life where you're sick & not be able to enjoy it. I'm 5'7 & was 366 when I started this process & am still actively losing weight. I'm 2 lbs shy of losing a 100 lbs & I feel so much better now than I did then.

I don't have high blood pressure, but I have diabetes & was told that those usually go hand in hand, so I felt like a ticking time bomb b4 things would get worse. I now take the lowest dose of diabetes medication & hope to be off of them by this time next year. 

Don't live in fear of what other people might think, including your husband. You're doing this for you, sometimes the support isn't there at first because people just aren't informed about the surgery, that lack of info sometimes develops into fear for you, someone hears from somebody else, who heard from someone on how bad everything was, or they took the easy way out, etc, etc. It's just ignorance, the more educated & confident you become the better other people around you will be supportive of you, maybe not all of them, but don't let the few bring you down. Good luck in whatever you choose!

  Your story is my story. I had the band and had it removed 4 months ago. I could have had rny at the same time, but I was afraid and just had the band removed. Now I'm set to have surgery again. My grown daughter said "I know you want to have that done, but you dont need it". She said "oh well, go ahead and see". That made me more afraid and my husband feels the same. I know that they believe that they are helping me, but they're not.  I have major health issues that the band didn't resolve. diabetes, high blood, cholesterol, and the arthritis is taking over. So you're not the only one.  Hang in there, we can do this.

I too had fears, it's natural because you've got to consider this is major surgery.  My husband too didn't want me to have the surgery. The surgery was for me.  But he respected my decision and supported it.  I wanted to extend my life, improve my quality of life, improve my mobility and ability to enjoy my life.  I too had all the knee pain, diabetes, high blood pressure, swelling and kidney disease.  Today,after only 7 weeks post-operative, I feel so much better and I'm only 1/3 of the way!  I can only imagine how great it will be at goal.  Clothes that I have had for so many years because they didn't fit (brand new with tags) now are so loose I have to wear a belt.  I've got piles of clothes that are too big, gotta box them up for donation.

It isn't magic, it takes alot of hard work, adjusting your head, excercise and following your doctor's orders.  It is truly a journey.  I have had to make many life changes and put myself first.  Its a good thing.  My relationship with food has changed drastically, now it is only fuel for my body, no longer a companion and entertainment.  

You've got to decide if you are committed enough to your well being.