I am in desperate need of encouragement

I'm not really "new" here.  I had my VSG in December 2012.  I lost 30# prior to surgery and another 40# in the 6 months after, then...nothing.  I was still watchful of what I ate, but when I quit obsessing over every crumb I put in my mouth the weight loss just stopped.  I held my own for a few months, then started to gain--slowly at first, then I just completely fell apart.  In less than a year I've regained every pound I had fought so hard to lose.  I'm so embarrassed and discouraged that I created a new profile so no one here would know who I am.  What is wrong with me???  I just turned 60 years old (and how did THAT happen?), and I'm living in a 350 pound body that is still surprisingly healthy (for now).  Except for the joint pain.  And the fact that I can barely cut my own toenails or tie my shoes.  And I can't fit in an airplane seat, or work in my garden, or get up off the floor.  I've achieved every other important thing I've ever really wanted in my life--WHY can't I at least lose enough that I can walk around the block without calling the paramedics first?  I'll listen to anything you have to say, even if it involves name-calling or finger-pointing.  Is it even possible to refocus now?  And how in the world do I start?  I feel like such a failure (again).

i am so sorry you are having a tough time. Remember they did surgery on our stomachs, not our minds. Do you have a therapist you can talk to? Yes, you can start from here again. First you must forgive yourself to be able to move on. I would recommend tracking every bite somewhere like myfitnesspal. Get out your measuring cups and food scale. We tend to forget what a real serving size looks like. You could also plan ahead and only eat what you have planned in advance. Ditch the carbs, focus on protein.

The mental part is the hardest. Be kind to yourself.

It is never too late to make a change.  I bet your tool is still there waiting for you to use.  

Have you thought about seeing your NUT again and making an apt. with a counselor?

Hi

When I had my sleeve done my surgeon told me for some who have alot to lose this would be the first part of a DS. Maybe you need to upgrade your sleeve to a DS? Just a thought. I am hoping not to have too, but am prepare to if needed:)

Thanks, truly, to all *****plied.  Your advice has reminded me of something that I already knew but had buried; serious overeating is an addiction, and unless I address that fact directly no surgery is going to "fix" my problem.  Reconnecting here is an important step for me.  I feel like I've reached out to the only people *****ally GET it.  It was so hard for me to come back here and admit that I had failed again, but your non-judgmental attitude has given me a whisper of hope.  I'm researching DS ( without much enthusiasm, I admit), but before I even consider another surgery I will finally see a counsellor.  Thank you!

You can do it.

It is sssssooooo hard to lose weight, even with WLS.  You have to accept the fact that you have to change your eating habits -- forever.

I don't want to sound harsh, but it doesn't seem you were fully committed to the program your surgeon set up for you.  You did good losing 30 pounds prior to surgery, but looks like you had problems post-op.  40 pounds in six months does not sound like you were following your program properly.  I know we all lose weight at different rates.  You say you "held your own" for a few months, then started to gain, slowly, then fell apart.

I just had my surgery in May.  I'm 62 years old.  My health was deteriorating quickly.  Congestive heart failure, neuropathy, arthritis, high blood pressure, etc.  Huffing and puffing.  Couldn't get up or down without help.  Using a walker.  Etc., Etc. Etc.  And forget about the "small" things like personal hygiene, walking, breathing, getting dressed, etc.  I hated myself.  And in spite of hating myself, I did everything for everyone else.  My back would be breaking, but I'd be at the stove cooking for my SO while he sat on his a$$.  And I would pay all the bills, while he did nothing.  

Finally, I had "the awakening" - it was time to take care of myself, or I would die.  Death was knocking at my door.  And I wasn't ready for it.  I have a wonderful daughter, and a beautiful granddaughter.  And I want to enjoy my life.  So I've had surgery, and I'm doing very well. I'm feeling so much better, mentally and physically.  I can move again, I can breath.  No more huffing and puffing.  I'm not perfect.  But I work hard at following my program.  I log my food/water intake.  I pre-plan my menus.  When I go food shopping, I get what I need - no depriving myself of what I need.  I still have issues with my SO, but I've gotten to the point where I tell him I'm taking care of myself first now.  Because of these ongoing issues, I'm calling to set-up counseling for myself, and I will be going to post-op support meetings.

It's not easy - not by a long shot.  Sometimes, we can tackle anything --- but then it can start to get difficult again and we fall down.  But we have to pick ourselves up again.  You can refocus now.  Your VSG is still in place -- I'd contact your surgeon' office and get back in to see the nutritionist and get into their support groups.  It's hard to pick up the phone -- but do it and you'll feel good.  Your surgeon's office wants you to succeed and they'll help you.

You've got two choices:  1) do nothing and hate yourself for it; or 2) pick up the phone and take action, and you'll feel better immediately.

I sincerely wish you the best of luck!!  Keep posting and keep reading.  Never be ashamed -- we've all fallen.

A year ago (my surgery was in December 2012) I would have told you that I really was following the program, and that I didn't understand why I wasn't losing weight--and meant it.  Looking back, I can see that the only person I was deceiving was myself.  I was working 2 jobs, I was tired, no time for exercise, blah, blah...a hundred and one excuses for not being accountable to myself.  When I started gaining I stopped coming here to OH because I felt like a big, fat hypocrite, and that's when the big slide started.  Funny thing, though.  The day after I posted here last week I started back on program, with strict adherence since.  The first few days were HARD, but I'm past the carb withdrawal now and much calmer.  THANK YOU, Mary, for your encouragement.  Us old broads have to stick together (I'm 60, so I can say that ).

Mary,  you are my sister from another mother! To paraphrase -

I'm 61 years old, forced into retirement by depression, deteriorating joints and all the obesity issues we know all too well.

Neuropathy, arthritis, high blood pressure, last A1C moves me over the line to diabetic.  Huffing and puffing, no breath at all when leaning over.  Can get up from floor without help, but it's not a pretty sight.  Using a walker for situations that I'll need seating.  

I hate my life, luckily not yet myself.  I weep. I did everything for everyone else.  My back would be breaking, but I'd be at the stove cooking for my disabled DH and my stepson (30 yrs with Aspergers) while they sit on their a$$. 

I'm ready for change. I've been working up to it for a year or more. I need to come first. And if I can't get the peace and space I need, I may to make huge changes, even moving somewhere less chaotic. 

It sounds like there are a bunch of boomers here! Awesome!

I know you were answering someone else's question, but your background that you talk about , with your age, the huffing and puffing and CHF gives me the encouragement I need. I am trying to make a decision about RNY. I had my heart set on the sleeve as it seemed less intrusive, but with GERD it is not a possibility. I am scared about being under anesthesia that long. My Dr has been very encouraging to me but she cannot make my decision. I think this is my one and only chance, I am not getting younger.