I know I'm not being nice but I can't help it

it does matter.  But I'm done. Let's just agree to disagree.  

I agree with you completely.  It's complaining about the stomach flu to someone on chemo.  Sure, you are both throwing up, but the journey sure is different.  

On the same note, nothing irritates me more than normal -weighted people complaining about weight gain with obese people.  It's a form of 'leveling" -- and they are looking to be made to feel better by disparaging someone with a much more severe problem.  I guess I am a real *****  When a thin person does this to me, I respond flatly, "yeah, you are looking quite a bit heavier, but I am sure you'll get it under control before it gets worse."

More than likely, she:

-does not understand the anxiety of not fitting into booths or seating. 
-does not know the embarrassment of not being able to fit on a fair ride that your child or nice/nephew is begging you to ride with them
-has not received the same discrimination as some who are 300+ have endured by not getting the job bc of their weight
-does not know how hard it is to be fresh and clean after using the bathroom
-does not know how difficult it is to find clothes that fit bc few stores carry above size 28

I have a million other things I could add to the list. But the truth is, we don't know what she is going through. 

Trust me, I am not taking up for this lady. You have my full support.

But I wonder if she has co-morbidities that we don't know about? Heck, I am one of the lucky few that my only co-morbidity is sleep apnea. So many people suffer from diabetes, high blood pressure, asthma, shortness of breath, edema, and etc. 

She should not compare her weight to your struggle. The two are nothing alike but maybe if she is suffering from a co-morb then she feels some how similar to you? I don't know. Just thinking out loud. :)

Everyone has their own crosses to bear. Hopefully your outburst put her in her place - but some people are dense. If it would make you feel better, you can always apologize for the outburst, but stand by the standpoint you were trying to convey.  Tell her that you understand that weight loss and surgery are scary, so we try to find people to identify with - its a normal, human thing to do. But it CAN be offensive. It's best to be supportive and kind, and simply NOT compare yourself to someone else. I'm guessing she was never taught any differently. (And you can say that too - if it ever comes up again).

I have a dense co-worker too. She ranted, raved and walked out of the building because I seemed perturbed (she was right). I never did yell at her, but we did have a talk later, and came to an understanding. Once the dust clears for you, that might be the big thing to do.

Nevertheless, you weren't wrong - everyone is on their own personal path in this odyssey.  That is for sure.  Reminds me of a line from P.S. I Love You (the movie). Kathy Bates' character says: "So now, all alone or not, you gotta walk ahead. Thing to remember is if we're all alone, then we're all together in that too."  

It's true. Best to you.... - Beth.