I know I'm not being nice but I can't help it

So I'm 13 months post op RNY and I have lost 151 lbs.  I weigh 222 lbs right now and I feel great.  I still wanna lose another 60 lbs but I'm sure that I will with time.  So anyways, theres this girl at work who is 5'5 right now and weighs about 210 lbs.  She's been tlking to me about WLS.  She keeps comparing herself to me and how we both know what its like to be the "fat" girl and also about how awful it is to be obese.  I can't listen to her anymore.  She has no idea what i felt like.  She was thin her whole life then ballooned up after having a kid and has been overweight for a couple years now.  I can't help but be so agitated by her.  We are two very different people and have led two very different lives.  I've been huge my whole life.  Maxing out at 373 lbs.  She can't relate to me just like I can't relate to a 600 lb immobile person.   I feel bad for acting like this but I just can't hide my irritation anymore and I let her know it too.  I explained to her exactly what I just said and she thinks that i'm being a *****  Maybe i am.  But i am entitled to my feelings.  And honestly, my opinion should not matter to her.  Just needed to vent and this seemed like the right forum because i know there are plenty of people like this on the main forums and i just don't wanna deal with their attitudes on this.  I respect everyone and their own personal journeys but we are VERY different people.

I totally get you, and I totally agree.   Then again, i come from the same place as you.   That ***** has NO clue.. none.   Poor her, 210 lbs.  People dont stare at her every time she goes out in public, they dont sneer and point, they dont laugh, she never DIDNT fit into public seating... never struggled to wipe her own ass. ...  I could go on, but it's pointless.  We all know why your coworker is ignorant!   I'm sure she means well, just clueless and trying to find a friend to make her feel better somehow.  *shrugs

Whatever the case, believe me.. you're right and I completely agree. 

Sure, I get it. I would have also told her in no uncertain terms that she does NOT understand my process, just as I do not understand hers. Has she not ever been told how rude it is to tell someone you know how he or she feels? She is projecting her self loathing on to you and assuming you must also be self loathing. I would be irritated too.

I wonder if she would get off your ass if she had a disciple to pal around with and go to a surgery seminar with. I don't suppose she would leave you alone if you flat out told her the date and time of the next surgery seminar and then said that is the last conversation you will have with her about it?

I get where you are coming from... while people will try to commiserate with me on how hard it is to be overweight and to lose weight... when they try to make it seem as though they are in the same boat I was, I can find it a bit irritating. Like Lisa said, don't talk to me about this until you can barely wipe your ass! LOL I think that despite being overweight or obese, most people don't even realize just how bad things get the heavier you are (ass wiping is one example).

I don't know if the irritation is completely rational... who knows? I certainly understand where you are coming from though!

I agree that some people are complete idiots. And you are right that your coworker definitely is. But I hope you are not letting people like her affect your blood pressure and your health.

I am a master at the whole passive-aggressive nod and smile technique. People learn pretty quickly that I really do not give a **** about what they are saying and then they stop. 

Soon people will get used to you being normal sized and the comments about your weight loss will stop. Hang in there!!

Thanks everyone.  I'm trying not to let her get to me. I said my peace and I am not really arguing with her anymore.  It just really irritates me.  That whole "wiping your ass" thing is so damn true.  That's part of why I finally decided to have surgery.  Couldn't believe that I could barely reach anymore.  I do seem to have a problem with people lecturing me on this surgery when they are barely overweight and for such a short period of time.  I need to just get over it but I wanted to vent.  Thanks guys! 

I think you did the right thing straightening things out with her.  I was just talking to a friend about my goals and that I'd love to see a size 18 again because that is my lowest adult size (in my senior year).  She was a size 2 in HS and is very overweight now.  We agreed that our perspectives on weight are very different.  Sounds like a positive outcome of your conversation.  All I have to say is a little maturity goes a long way!

I know it is frustrating, but I have to say that you don't have to be extremely over weight to have problems that can affect you every day life.  I know that I am not even 100 pounds overweight, but I have several medical issues that I can't get under control because of my weight. And for the whole "not being able to wipe your ass", I can also relate to that. So I don't think its fair to judge just because someone hasn't been overweight for as long as other people.  We have problems too.

But I still standby my statement that you never know how someone feels if u have never walked in their shoes. 

That statement goes for everyone.   Each person has their own struggles. I'm not trying to be ugly, I just wanted to get it out there that how long someone has been over weight or how much they are over weight shouldn't matter. You have done great with your weight loss and I wish you luck in reaching your goal.