I hit 199.5...now I have fear.

Hi there Everyone,

I posted this on the vsm forum too. 

I was sleeved April 10, 2013 at 350lbs.  I weighed today, a day early, and my scale said 199.5.   Fear has set in terribly.  I havent weighed anywhere close to this since 7th grade and im 48 y/o.  I dont know how to feel or act.  I still want to  lose about 30 more.

Fear is for regain.  Ive not deviated from my way of eating.  Ive read where people start adding things in and Im afraid to do that at all. 

Does anybody else have fears they'd care to post or feedback on my fears?

Thanks,

tia

Well since you still want to lose more, I wouldn't worry too much about it right now.  I would just keep on track and keep going.  I know I've thought about maintenance and it is scary, but I think that as long as you keep it healthy in both eating and exercising you should be fine.  You could also talk to your nut about your anxiety, I'm sure they could give you advice.

btw: congrats on getting to wonderland, I am soo close myself and I think I might cry when I get there :)

You are right lucalaw28, I figure this is going to be pretty close to how id like to eat the rest of my life with some add in's on occasion.  Thats the part that worrys me. I havent even attempted to add things in except for nuts which were fine at 3/4 mos and at 6/7/8 kill my stomach...not sure if its gall bladder or??? Im going to try egg whites again which havent agreed with me either in the past.  Other than that, im not planning on adding in any junk. 

Im going to talk to my RD about it on Fri...I think I have an appt with my surgeon for my 9mos checkup but I have to call as im not sure.  Good idea:-).

Thank you!   I thought I was gonna cry but what came out of me was NO FREAKIN WAY...then woo woo woo with the hand pump lol...

Good luck and you'll be there shortly.

tia

Congratulations!!

I get the fear and the sense of being startled at your new size.  Wonder at it, rejoice over it, own it.  Keep going toward your goal if you're not done.  It takes the eyes and the brain and the emotions some time to accept that this is where we are after all that time of not being there.

I didn't add anything in until I hit that final-final goal.  At that point I took the advice of many here and upped my calories by 100ish a day for a couple of weeks, then 100ish more, looking for that point where I stopped losing but wasn't trending toward gaining.  I added in some things which were, frankly, stupid choices, but fortunately they didn't take hold of me as in the old days.  I also added in some smart choices and have successfully avoided some bad old foods altogether.  My overall eating hasn't really deviated much from when I was in active WL mode.

Don't know if there's anything helpful above, but that's what I've found so far in early maintenance.

Hey Nancy,

Thank you for replying!

All is helpful...The word Ive been looking for...startled...I really am. It threw me for a loop cuz id been sort of stalling or inching(1/4 lb) down every couple of days.  I feel amazing physically and emotionally im spinning.  My Drs goal, first, was 193.  Mine is 170 but part of me wonders what id look like at 165/160 as Im 5'8.  Maybe I just dont know yet lol.  I see my surgeon on Fri, i think, for my 9mos checkup.  6 mos checkup he said i was doing better than his bypass pts...I said dude, as long as Im healthy...so im looking forward to seeing him this time. 

I do plan as you stated...to continue eating as i am and maybe several mos out of goal, whenever that is, to add the occasional treat, not junk.  I honestly never want to go back to being the junk food junkie I was pre sleeve.  I felt horrible and it was just too much.

Thank you again,

tia

Hey, Tia --  I am also 5'8", I started out only 7 pounds higher than you did, and I am about 7 years older than you are.  If you want a clue as to what you might look like at 165/160, go here:  http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/VSG/4664897/doffing-the-security-blanket-of-hair/#38702093  The ones in the blue shirt are me at 164/.165.  I am VERY thin from about the waist up, save for the excess skin (which is less there than I had thought there would be), and with a pannus at hip level and excess skin stopping at my knees.  .As I don't plan to have plastics, except for MAYBE a panniculectomy, clothing is going to have to do the trick for me.  Frankly, as I don't worry about looking like a Victoria's Secret model, I'm fine with that.  :)

I see my surgeon again tomorrow.  He hasn't seen me since I weighed 197, when I was in for a nutrition follow-up.  He was stunned.  GOOD.  lol  He also said I'm making him look good.  GOOD.  I'm sure your surgeon will have similar words for you.  GOOD.  :)

Hey Nancy,

Id love to see the pics!  Im going to try typing in the link as its not highlighted so i cant click on it.  Very rarely do I find anybody near the same lol so Im very interested.  Im the one with a warped sence of what i do look like so it would definately help.

I looked in a full length mirror on the back of a door here at home, naked.  OMG there are things I didnt realize.  Like you, my top half thinned out amazingly...explains the xl/lg tops.  The bottom half...ugh...no back fat for the most part...it starts at the pannus and omg the legs!!!  Also, i hardly have a butt anymore and sagging on my hips/butt area.  I dont know why its  such a surprise to me but it hit me...hard. Im going to find a pair of sz 14 jeans to pull it together.  16s are a bit big and arent doing their job!!!  Im also going to find a body shaper, above waist and down close to knees, when I work out and wear dresses.  I detest those things and couldnt wear them as a norm.  I noticed when I wore a skirt and then a dress with tights, it pulls my legs together amazingly.  I still have large legs but I was happy none the less.

Yep, clothes are going to have to do it for me.  Im married to a police officer, wage freeze including cost of living going on 6 years in a major city.  Neither his ins or mine will cover the plastics I would need.  Ive slacked on the exercise majorly.  I did tell him starting this month we need to go 3xs a week.  Unfortunately, 2014 started out with him and I getting sick and our dear friend, mine over 30 yrs, is now at home under hospice.  He has about a week left so I changed my work sched and am spending nights over there to help...another friend of ours goes with me. So, I told my husband not to let me out of it and get on my butt come Feb 1.  Maybe it help some with the body and I know it helps me feel better.  He kicks my butt lol.

Im going to check out your pics.  Thank you so much for the offer!  I think I have a 9mos post op Friday..,have to call and check for sure.  When I saw my surgeon for my 6 mos he was shocked...told me id lost more than the vast majority of his bypass pts with similiar stats.  I laughed and thanked him...After all, I didnt get here alone.  Im thinking he'll like my numbers.

tia

I'm sorry to hear about your friend.  I know it's difficult.  We had my father-in-law with us the last nine months of his life, the last 3ish weeks being on hospice.  Bless you for helping out. 

I hear ya on the wage freeze.  My husband works for the federal government, and we are going on four years now with no increase.  Everything else is increasing except for his pay.  :(  :(

Just looked at your photos -- you look GREAT!  You and I are very similar physically, , based on photos and description, except that you have more of a bustline than I do.  My bras are too big again, so I guess I need to find something that will work with what I have left.  LOL

Keep up the great work!  It's so worth it!

Hey Nancy,

WOW!!!! I looked at your pics.  You look terrific!  I can only hope to come through this half as well.  I, like you, had long hair that thinned.  Mine started coming out at 6 mos...quite a bit.  I went on my lunch hour, just next door to our bldg at a Best Cuts and had it cut...just a little shorter than yours, layers.  Now, no more fall out and I love it.  I always, always thought my hair was the best thing about it.  It was so freeing for me. 

I just realized my child took my pic at her home at Christmas.  Im going to try to load those.  I was in the low 200's at the time but im going to try now to put them up.  You look so good.  I, on the other hand, look odd lol.

tia 

YES, so freeing to have the shorter hair with some body and bounce!  After literally decades of having hair down my back I still reach back to flip it out of habit and have nothing to flip.  LOL  One downside:  I didn't realize how my hair served as a blanket of sorts in the winter.  Now that I'm so much thinner, I'm so much colder, and no hair-blanket!  I imagine you're experiencing that as well.  Still, I don't think I'm going back to the super-long hair.  It was time.