One month out and I miss food

I'm making myself miserable again. I'm on solid foods and I thought it would make it easier, but I just keep running into things I can't eat. Between the non-stop potlucks and pizza parties at work and my family and friends playing the "Well, can you eat THIS?" game, I am feeling very unhappy. I'm not allowed to have fruit until I've reached my weight loss goal (you know, because so many people get fat from apples, I guess.) I can't have any grains until I reach my weight loss goal. I have been told to stick to less than 500 calories per day until I reach my weight loss goal, and need to ensure that each meal has less than 5 grams of carb and that I'm reaching 60 grams of protein each day. I have to avoid sugar alcohols because they eventually turn into sugars or something. I can't have beans (you know, the low-carb good source of protein that everyone says is good for you) or nuts because they're too much carbs and fat and not enough protein. I'm doing way more food math than I ever did in Weigh****chers (Hmmm, maybe that's why I had to have most of my stomach surgically removed in order to lose weight.) I'm just fixating on things I want to eat, but can't, even though they're "low carb" or sugar free. I see recipes for low carb sugar free chocolate, but it's got 17g of carb in it. 

I lost 25 pounds in a little over a month on my pre-op low carb diet alone. Since surgery, I've lost 28 pounds. I feel like this whole thing was a waste of time and energy and it's just a new way for me to obsess about food and eventually somehow fail and end up fatter than I am now. Anyone else felt like this before?

I didn't have the surgery, but I do know the struggles you are having.  It was really hard in the beginning and sometimes even now, when you can't eat stuff you want.  But I found for me that it was head hunger, which I think is way worse then real hunger or even cravings for bad food.  We use food as a way to cope with everything, so when it's not there you feel kind of lost and you miss it.  I know for me I don't feel the need to binge anymore, but I just want to be able to eat like a normal person with a treat here and there.  I'm on a strict calorie diet and very low carb, so basically what you have to do, so I do understand.  I can say that it does get easier with time and trust me on this, I have been overweight since I was like 11 and now Im 28, I never got to wear pretty girl or even sexy girl clothes in my teens and young adults.  I used to cringe when I went clothes shopping, I would just grab something that was 4x and black and leave it at that and I hated it.  Now I go into a store and I have soo many more options.  I'm able to look in mirrors again. I literally covered all the mirrors in my house, that's how ashamed I was.  You won't believe how good it feels when you just start to feel "normal" for a change.  I still want to lose like 90lbs but my life def has done a 180 degree turn and it starts to kind of fill you in a way that food used to.  Now like I said it's going to be hard, some days you'll be out of your mind, maybe crying, maybe screaming depending on how you decide to let your feelings out, but hold on because there are moments in your life coming up that will make all the struggles worth it.  Good luck :)

I think I'm fighting two different battles. Yes, there is the head hunger that tells me that I want something like french fries or ice cream or something. That is rare and fairly under control. The second fight is with my body. My body feels heavy and greasy, because I can't eat any vegetables. When I felt this way in the past, I would eat a nice light spinach salad or an apple, but under my surgeon's diet, these are not allowed. I have to attempt to eat 3 oz of protein first, and then if there is room, I can have green beans, mustard/collard/turnip greens, mushrooms, or beets. There is almost never room. I am specifically not allowed to have fruit until I reach my goal weight because fruit is full of sugar and carbs and doesn't contribute to my protein intake. I am not allowed to have any leafy greens until I reach 3 months post-op. When I reach out to the doctor's office, his nutritionists tell me to continue loading up on protein, forbid me from snacking, and tell me to take probiotics if the problem is that I'm missing fiber for bathroom reasons. 

I'm just waiting for the struggle to start to feel like it's worth it. 

How much research did you do prior to surgery?  WLS is a life-changer and you should have expected the post-op restrictions.  Go to Eggface's website or Foodie's website and learn more about how to eat now.  They've got hundreds of recipes and daily menus -- it may take more effort to eat healthy, but it's worth it.  Me, I haven't had surgery yet, but I do know that after surgery I'm going to have to put more effort into planning and preparing my foods.  No more fast food, grinders, fried food etc.  That's reality.  But the results will be worth it -- a better and healthier life!

Stop "making yourself miserable" -- pull up your boot straps and do what it takes to make things better for yourself.   

I researched it plenty before surgery, thanks. What I didn't really expect was the toll that the raging hormones of weight loss would cause. Every pound I lose releases more hormones into  that just make me feel more unstable. Yes, I knew that it would be difficult, but I did not expect how much I would miss healthy foods that people on other diet plans who have had the same surgery as I had are allowed to have. I can't have a salad because I can't have leafy greens. I can't have fruit. I can't have nuts or beans. I'm not missing the french fries, I'm missing stuff other than just proteins and the occasional green bean that I can have if I still have room. I can't eat the recipes on Eggface's blog. They contain nuts, or have sugar alcohols in them, or more than 5 grams of carbs, or not enough protein. I have been poring over various bariatric surgery blogs trying to find stuff that I am allowed to eat under my surgeon's guidelines and am so far very unsuccessful. 

But really, thanks for your opinion. I hope you have a GREAT post-op experience. 

I agree that the recovery time after surgery is not fun.  But keep in mind it doesn't last forever.  It will get easier and easier as your stomach heals and the swelling goes down.  You will find you can eat more normally both in types of food and quantity.  I remember at about three months out, thinking that I'd never feel normal again, but I did get thru it.  I do feel a sense of normalcy - not the same as presurgery, but its ok.  I can live this way the rest of my life.

So hang in there.  It will get better.  personally, I think the big win of the surgery is that it helps us keep the weight off.  I could always lose weight on a diet, but I was never able to sustain it long term.  I think the surgery will change this. 

Its wonderful that you've lost 25 pounds pre-op and 28 already since surgery. A few months from now, you will be seeing even more loss, you'll be feeling better, and you'll be happy you did it.

best wishes,

Carol

Thanks for your kind words.  I think the problem, in my head at least, is that my surgeon set up such stringent guidelines for the post-op diet. He specifically says which foods I am allowed to add to my diet and when. Beef and pork are not allowed until 3 months out. Same goes for leafy greens. Fruit is specifically forbidden until I've lost 75% of excess weight. I feel like the diet I am currently on is very unbalanced and it's just making me feel unwell. When I question exactly what I'm supposed to do with literally NO fiber in my diet, the dieticians at his office say I should just keep drinking my water and make sure I take my probiotics. I just feel heavy and greasy inside, which in the past I would cure by eating a salad or an apple or something. Also, looking at all these bariatric food sites just makes me sadder. There are so many great recipes for people who have gone through the same thing as I have that I am simply not allowed to have. 

The guidelines your surgeon has set up are set that way for a reason.  Your new stomach has to have a chance to heal up properly so that you can digest the things you're talking about--beef, greens, etc., especially since now you don't make near the quantity of stomach acid that you did before, and the surface area for grinding food down in your stomach has been greatly reduced. 

I know it has to be tough not to be able to eat the healthy things you want to eat.   I hope you're able to find a way to eat that meets your surgeon's guidelines and that makes you feel well. 

TDS, yes, IMVHO you are making yourself miserable.  Part of it may well be the usual roller coaster emotions that we can experience in the early postop period.  The only cure for that aspect is to ride it out and understand that that can get better.

Let's focus on some positives here. 

You CAN lose weight with the help of your sleeve, *IF* you keep your head in the game.  If you are posting in this over-50-BMI forum, and if you went through with being sleeved, we can assume that you WANT to lose your excess weight.

The numbers you are reporting indicate that you have lost 53 pounds in something like two months.  Is that not a POSITIVE???  Do you not take any pleasure in that, and do you not feel better as as a result??

You can have lots of delicious, satisfying foods that are sleeve-friendly.  You have to get your head in the right place to appreciate that and work it.  FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES.

One thing that can be so dynamic about being sleeved is that it can allow us to move food from being the center of our lives into the periphery and let us have some perspective about it.  Another way to say this is that we can eat to live and not live to eat.   

Let's look at the "things I can't eat" category for a moment.  What good did pizza, potlucks, nuts and generally carb-laden foods ever do for you, really?  If you're like me, all they did was enable you to increase your body size and weight to unmanageable and, frankly, dangerous proportions.  If you allow yourself to think about it differently, you can prepare foods for yourself in sleeve-friendly proportions which give you the flavor of, say, pizza, without the guilt and without the continuing damage to your body.  A little thought, a little research, and a lot of willingness would have to go into it, but it's doable and well worth it. 

Will you give yourself the gift of accepting your new sleeved life and allowing it to work for you???

It may be that you will need some outside help with your thought process here in order to be successful with your weight loss.  When you are at least a couple of months out, when your emotions settle, and when you have a chance to catch your breath and get into a routine and see how beautifully this can work for you, my suggestion would be to take a good look at that, discuss it with your surgical team, and maybe pursue some therapeutic support.  Many people have done that postop and have praised its benefits to the skies.

Re friends and family asking if you can eat this or that, sooooooo what?  Either you can or you can't.  Don't let it bother you.  They probably have no other experience in dealing with a sleeved person, so in that sense it's a fair question.  Again, time and experience will help you deal with this if you allow it to happen. 

I'm not trying to be harsh with you, hon.  Far from it.  I only wish you the best and hope to help you see the other side of things.  This is a battle.  For me it is what I consider to be my very last chance at reaching and maintaining a normal or healthy weight.  When you look at it that way, this is a blessing and an advantage.  Want it.  Reach out, grab that advantage, and WORK IT. 

I'm just having trouble finding delicious, satisfying sleeve-friendly foods that you described that my doctor will also let me have. I can't have any sugar alcohols. I am forbidden from snacking. I must stay under 500 calories per day until I lose 75% of my excess weight, I can not have more than 5 g of carb per meal, I can only have 3 meals per day, I may not have nuts or beans. It seems like a lot of the staples of the bariatric recipe blogs (Stevia, sugar free pudding mix, beans) I have been forbidden from eating by the diet plan the surgeon's nutritionists have concocted. Additionally, my brain has been really fuzzy ever since surgery. I was hoping it would go away by now, but I worry that it's not and that it maybe has something to do with my diet. 

I know that the surgery was a necessity to help me get to a healthy weight, and I'm already in therapy trying to deal with my food issues and my separate emotional issues. I just find myself craving regular healthy foods that I can't have. Who craves BEANS, anyways? What is that about? I'm not hankering for my old junk food, I'm just craving some apple sauce or some mashed up beans. The guidelines book that my surgeon sent home with me says that I should lose 25% of my excess weight 4-6 weeks post-op. I am nowhere near that, but I really don't know how I could possibly go any lower calorie or carb. I feel like I'm failing at this and I really don't know what to do. Yes, 50 lbs is an accomplishment, but you can barely tell that I've lost any weight.