whiny light weights

Not sure what Board I'm on, I saw this post on my Home page in the trending section, but I soooooo relate about the VSGers being so whiny OMG!  I may be what you call a lightweight, or lightweight and a half, so please don't toss me out.  LOL  

I am seriously looking for another Forum to be active in because I can not take the whining any longer.  In fact, I just made a post about the belly aching in the VSG forum.   The whining is so bad, most nights I log off wanting to slit a wrists (being facetious) please no one 51/50 me and have the straight jacket people at the my door.  LOL   I am combing the boards for a happier place to be.  

I feel the same way. I used to be a 30/32 and now I am a 22 and I am loving it!! I would love to get down to a 12 if possible. I get so irritated when I read someone who started out in a 20/22 . Do they have any idea what it was like to be me at 373 lbs?? No they don't. They have no clue. It's frustrating but I try and remind myself that each person has their own struggles with weight but honestly.... They have never experienced being SMO and have no idea how it feels.

I totally agree with what everyone is saying, but here is my perspective.  From about the age of 12 is when I gradually started putting on the weight.  And I remember how horrible is felt when I got over 200lbs and then you go up maybe 20lbs then another 20.  When I was 15 I was in the 250's and I remember how uncomfortable and unattractive I felt and I had people call me names (not all the time, but still even just one name can cut deep) And then I was in the 270's when I graduated, up to over 300 in college, until finally I got to my highest 364.  Now don't get me wrong, being almost 400lbs is yes, way worse then being say in the 250's but when you are putting on the weight, you don't start feeling bad once you get to 300lbs.  Society isn't that much more accepting of a 200 and something pounder then a 300 something pounder. So I try to think of it that way.  I mean now I'm loving being 251, but that's because I've been at a worser point with my weight.  But the "lighter weights", are at their worst points, and yeah maybe 250 is something one of us would strive for or be happy with, but that would be like us and say people who weigh double of whatever we weigh.  Maybe someone who weighs 600lbs would kill to just be 300lb, but would someone who starts at 350lbs stop at 300lbs and be satisfied?  I think it all depends on where you've been, how it's affected you and what you feel is right for you.  Sorry for the long post, I just really got to thinking about it, and trust me I didn't start no light weight and it would annoy me when the lighter weights would complain but then I really started thinking about it and things can be extrememly difficult psychically and emotinally no matter where your weight loss journey starts at.

That's what I was getting at, that and how some people who show up as "lightweights" might have been where we started but had some previous but limited success with lap band.  I've seen that many times.   It's difficult to lose weight, period, and if there are also serious co-morbidities in the mix I can see where this surgery might be the answer for some who don't have as much to lose as we do. 

There is also the factor of height.  At 5'8" I can literally handle more body weight than someone who is much shorter than I am can.  Their being at 200 or 220 might be like me at 350 for all I know. 

Well thought out- well said.  

I hear ya.  But some of them are freakishly short.  So 230 pounds on a 5' person is a lot.  My aunt and I had the same BMI, and I'm 7 inches taller. She could barely walk, and her feet looked like elephant stumps.

That being said, I just don't read them. They celebrate Onderland after 30 pounds!- I don't relate. I scan to their signature first. If the starting weight is what I consider low, then I move on.  If they don't offer a starting weight, I usually move on also.

 

 

there was one women said she was wearing a size 2 and felt fat 

I live with a lightweight, my wife. I have to tell you at first I was not supportive at all, but that changes. Just like us they have their own issues and have to decide for themselves. I look at it this way if they qualify and have the means who am I to judge? I came around and was very supportive and she is doing terrific. 5 foot and 125 ish. Her proscribed maintenance diet is the same as my weight loss diet, lol, not so unexpected. She lost some amount of weight I can't seem to pin down but she was pushing 190-200, on the verge of being diabetic and with sleep apnea.

That being said yes it does aggravate me and I usually ignore those posts. I have worked with guys who had surgery at 250, 275, 300 etc.. The biggest learning I took back from this is that we are all on different journeys and not to take their comments or methods at face value. Their approach is not the same as the approach I need to take. Definitely feel like they do not understand what I have dealt with or am dealing with.

To start out, I am a Newbie VSG lightweight (HW 256 Now 206 and 2 months out).   Why did I have surgery at such a low weight without  many  co-morbs?   Thanks to a SO friend and a MO stranger.  At 42 and 256, my friend and this stranger saw where I was heading and were open enough to talk to me about their lives and their surgeries.  They took the time to walk me through the pre surgery process and help me make the decision that at 43 at 256 lbs, I could stop and reverse the weight gain before I hit their weights.  Does the lower weight make my journey less important then theirs?  No way!  It is my battle.  

So I have lost 50 lbs.  I know 50 lbs on a light weight is much more noticable and yes, I have gotten lots of compliments.  But the most important thing the weight loss and openness about my surgery had gotten me....Someone to mentor.  A co workers daughter noticed my weightloss and heard about my surgery and felt comfortable asking me about my journey.  She is 26 and 400 lbs and has every co-morbs known.  She is now in the process of getting surgery!!!  Yeah for her!!!!

Not one day goes by that I don't thank God for the openness of my friend and the kindness of the stranger for saving me from myself. (BTW...both of them are now smaller than me.  Jealous...of course, but so very proud of them!)  My Journey is my battle including all my whining, screaming, and moments of failure.  Please remember that no matter what weight we were/are, when we look in the mirror, we all still see that fat little kid.

I responded to you on the vsg forum but I'm going to post it here too. I normally don't get involved when people start verbally knifing each other but this journey is so personal and such a huge deal to me that I feel that I have to weigh in (no pun intended).

May I ask if you have ever been discriminated against because of your weight? I strongly believe that is exactly what you are doing in this thread. Those of us who ONLY have 100 pounds or so to lose are discriminated against by skinny people because to them, we're fat. Now, we have a support group that we joined in our fight against obesity and those that consider themselves "fatter" than us lightweights are discriminating against us because you think we are too skinny??

I may only be carrying around one extra person (100 extra lbs) and not two or three people (200-300 extra pounds) but why does that make me less than you? I can't stand on my feet, I have just been diagnosed with diabetes and hypertension. I have arthritis in my lower back which developed because of the weight. I can't bend over to put my shoes on, etc... so why am I not allowed to do something about my health before I die without being looked down upon? I'm not 5'8" I'm 5'1" and petite. My extra 100 pounds may be the equivalent of someone else's extra 200 pounds. I don't want to die due to issues caused by my weight any more than you do!

Please don't make me feel as though I don't deserve to get healthy just as much as you do. Would you rather I keep eating until I have 200 pounds to lose before taking action just so you feel better about the choices that you made? I am just as excited about a "heavyweights" huge loss as I am about my "lightweight" little loss. We are supposed to support each other and not tear each other down.

Let me give you a little insight for those super skinny people also (whether that is their natural state or if they have used WLS to achieve it). I was one of them for most of my life without trying. I was naturally small. I had major health issues the last 14 years that made me gain weight and I also made some bad eating choices. Unfortunately, my health issues (which aren't mentioned here) have made losing the extra weight on my own next to impossible. When I was skinny, 5 pounds meant that I went up a dress size and that meant that none of my clothes fit me. It was just as upsetting for me then as it is now with I move up from a size 20 to a 22/24. And remember, at my weight, you may be in a 14/16 but I'm short so that equates to a 20/22 for me. Be tolerant and more understanding of each individual's personal struggles with where they are not in comparison to you.