The Complaint We've All Heard Before!

Ok.... so this post is nothing new. BUT, I have to say that lately I find myself SO frustrated by the fact that even after losing 187 lbs, I still have like 80-90 to go! I get so jealous of those people on the other boards that are done after losing 90 -150 lbs. 

I only have these thoughts on the days where my hormones and bad attitude get the best of me! Good for them that they did something about their weight BEFORE they gained as much weight as I did... BUT, that doesn't stop me for being a complainer in my own head every so often lol!! :)

I'm really really really trying to focus on the glass being half full. I find there are some things that I can do to help my mental state and those include wearing clothes that FIT (and aren't too big... that makes me feel "sloopy"), doing my hair in the morning (instead of throwing it up in a bun, like I used to pre-op), and wearing makeup (me??? wear makeup?? it's crazy!)

I'm going to have my husband take progress pictures tonight since tomorrow is four months out from surgery. Those always make me feel good too :)

Ok... so this is a rambling post. I'll stop the madness now. Just wanted to share my thoughts and do a little complaining I guess! :)

I get you! I've definitely felt some pretty irrational things when comparing starting weights etc.. But we are all on our own journey. The big thing I have picked up on is that there is a difference in expectations from the WLS community about the super obese . When someone hears you have lost 180 lbs they tend to pooh pooh my Need to lose more. Lots of things get said about how great my progress has been and that I shouldn't worry about getting to my goals. Just accept this is what it is. I know it's meant to help but I reject it. I'll settle when I am good and ready. There is no reason I can't keep losing until I reach a goal I set.

Hey btw I am jealous of you! You lost a lot much quicker than I and you had the sleeve lol

I totally agree with you in regards to expectations for the "heavyweights" or SMO or whatever we are! I think that my weight management clinic/surgeon's office has low expectations to begin with... but I'm sure they find even more shocking that someone that started with my weight could even be considering a goal of under 200. I know my surgeon has shown confidence in me; however, that was because I proved myself by losing a lot of weight pre-op!

I wonder if part of it is that they assume that I've never been a normal weight; therefore, I never could be? I was a normal weight when I graduated from high school... so I CAN picture what life would be like at that weight. Maybe that helps me... who knows!

I'm jealous of you for hitting that 200 lbs lost!! Awesome! I can't wait to be there, hopefully within the next month!!

Y'know, I've had jealousy issues with this too. I've seen people post "Goal after 6 months" or something like that and then I look at their stats and they needed to lose such a small amount of weight compared to me. I even say to myself "Why have WLS if you only needed to lose 70 lbs." 70 lbs? I can crap bigger than that. Here I am 13 months later and still have a ways to go. I've lost more than most people weigh, but the fact of the matter is losing 2 lbs per week is considered healthy. I was not going to get to goal in 6 months.

I've had to settle down and accept that I have no idea what others go through. I can only appreciate my own struggles and triumphs. Just like when people post: "You're a man, men lose easier." They have no idea what I've gone through.

I tell people in person: "Try carrying around six 50 lb sacks of feed all day, every day." That's my perspective. To someone else 70 lbs was destroying their cartilage and and causing multiple obesity related morbidities.

Insert something about walking in moccasins or sandals or something...

LMAO you have lost more than I currently weigh!! THAT IS SO AWESOME!

You are a rockstar!!! You have done great... and I know exactly how you feel. I find after a little self-reflection... it comes down to me being a bit jealous that they didn't let themselves get to be 444.2 lbs and frustrated with myself. 

I think the thing I hate the most is when my family tells me how quickly I've lost all of this weight. YES, they are correct... when I'm thinking rationally... but it's hard to get them to understand that to ME... this whole process hasn't been "quick" or "fast" because I guess I can still remember feeling tortured in such a huge body. You are so right that other people can't imagine what it's like to carry around that much weight.

I'm getting SO close to having lost 200 lbs... which is what my husband weighs. A week or so ago, I told him to hold on to my back and I tried to walk around the bedroom with him hanging there. That's when I told him that I've almost lost entire.... HIM.... things like that always put stuff into perspective for him!!

I'm still pre-op, waiting for my date, but I know exactly where you guys are coming from!  I will admit I've wondered a couple of times why someone had to have surgery if they only needed to lose less than 100lbs...but to think that they did something before getting to the point we've been is a good way to look a it. I think we're allowed to be a bit envious from time to time!

 

You're right... we're just a bit envious and I think that's ok! We all deal with so many emotions and situations that can just be discouraging. I know for me it was always the "I have so far to go... I can't imagine ever getting to a normal weight, so why try" and now I look back and think "Gosh, if I had started when I **only** had 100 lbs to lose, I would be done already" lol

Oh, I totally get it. I used to get irked when someone would brag about being at goal AND wearing a size 2. Or ***** about starting out a size 18 or 20.
But then I remind myself that their fat caused them as much distress as mine did me, and their jubilation and sucess does not detract from mine. Comparison is the enemy of sucess.
On the RNY board in particular there seems to be some sizism, as in if one does not get to a single digit size then one is not a sucess. I say nuts to that.
You rock! Progress is ALWAYS to be applauded. My hat is off to you.

OMG don't get me started on the "I start this journey in a tight 18/20" LOL.... **** I'm at an 18/20 right now and I'm feeling freaking fabuloussssss! HA HA I look in the mirror and think "Look how small I am!!!"

Posts like that are what lead me to the thoughts I was posting about here... haha... you are SO right that comparison is the enemy of success. I will say though that I will NEVER be a size 2.... I'm looking forward to fitting into a size 10 and that would probably have to be AFTER plastic surgery lol 

I already feel like a success... even if I didn't lose another pound... HOWEVER, I won't be satisfied until I hit my own personal goals!!

Thank you so much for the kind words!!