Feeling overwhelmed

I surf these boards, I go to support groups and even at the doctors office for appointments.

I see woman that are 250 ish and them signing up for this surgery ( Yes , everyone has their story and struggles, Im not talking about that. I know this.) But it overwhelms me that I have to lose THEM... that they are the size I say I wouldnt mind getting down to. 

I cant even process ever being in the 100's.. my mind wont go there.

How do I lose 250lbs?????? and what mess will my skin be in. I will need so much plastic surgery to rebuild myself.

So Im 35 now.. so basically the next 5 yrs will be losing, saving money and a ton of surgerys and hopefully I will look decent at 40.

Days like today I hate myself for letting myself become this size and why did it take so long to wait up

I know where your at mentally today.......I get caught up in what I call "The Road is Too Long" thinking at times too because of how overweight I've allowed myself to get.  But the main thing I try to think about is how much healthier I am with each pound I lose.  I have diabetes and my A1c was 9.6 at surgery.....six weeks post op it was 6.1.  I wish I had had the surgery at 35 like you are....I maybe could have never had to take the Diabetes meds, or the Cholesterol meds, or the High BP meds......and loose skin.....You can hide all that in a size 16 pair off pants....you can't hide 400lbs.....it bulges out everywhere....I know.  I know its hard, but try to think of the positives. Good luck on your surgery. 

I hear ya. That's why we have this board. Sometimes I go to the main VSG board and see ppl starting at a weight I'd be thrilled to get to.

But, we're not all ready to deal with this at the same time. I remember being 19 and saying, "I'll NEVER go over 200!", but 20+ years later I was at 365 (actually 385, but my scale said 365). Now I'd be happy if I only get to 185 or 200.

Don't hate yourself for getting where you are, though. That doesn't help. Embrace the qualities that will get you out of this place.

Thanks for the understanding..

just at a poor me stage.

Single, no kids and 250 lbs to lose... Just thinking I'm gonna be alone and childless forever all because I never got help 10 yrs ago when I needed it. 

we all go through that stage < wanted this surgery 10 years ago but insurance would not pay for it then and I didn't have the funds to pay for it myself

 step 1 decide to do something about it

 step 2 start tracking you food with myfitnesspal.com eat 1200 cal a day

 step 3 see the surgeon and follow his.her plan

 

yes you probably will need plastic surgery 2 -3 years down the road , it will probably take 6-9 month till you have the surgery and 12-18 months to lose most of the weight , many plastic surgeons want you to have the weight off for around 1 year before plastics

if you have insurance go to the doctor with ever skin rash, infection ,yeast infection irritation  and get them on the record because some insurance will cover plastics for medical necessity

this is a long term project, you gained weight over many years and it will take time to lose , but anyone can if they follow a good plan

I got my sleeve 3 weeks ago and love it, im never hungry and a few bites fill me up

 

 you will need to join a gym best if they have a pool for water walking and aqua aerobics

 good luck on your new journey

pm me if you have any questions

 

I can relate to your frustration.  It is hard to keep the long-term perspective.  But every day you are on the plan means you weigh less than the day before and you are getting healthier.   I found that many of my aches and pains were alleviated with the first 50 pounds lost.  So that was a big reward. 

So keep the faith.  I had my surgery at 64, and I wish I had done it at 35 like you.  You are going to have decades of healthy life to benefit from your surgery.  So take heart.  You'll get there!

Carol

Yes, sometimes I used to get irked with people starting in the lower 200s and then
hearing them crow about being in a size two. But I try to remind myself that Rome wasn't built in a day. I have to break things down into smaller goal or it does seem overwhelming. It also helped me to set some non scale goals, such as getting off high blood pressure meds.
Take heart-- you are on your way now. The road is long, but not quite as long as it was.

I know all about hating myself for what I did to myself.  All you can do is pick yourself up from where you are right now and start taking the positive steps necessary to get your life back.  Yes, steps, as in one at a time.

It's not only about looking better.  Perhaps the most important thing about these surgeries AND the vital self-care afterward is that you FEEL better, you can do things you may only have dreamed of doing, and you increase your chances of being here longer on this Earth to get to the point where you are satisfied with how you look.  It's about getting your health back before co-morbidities come rampaging in which can change your life forever.  I was staring down the barrel of that shotgun myself.

TODAY you can start weighing and measuring your food, logging it somewhere like MyFitnessPal, dropping some food choices from your plate, and getting some exercise.  TODAY you can investigate surgical options and plan to go to seminars or support groups.  TODAY you can become more aware of what you are eating and why.  TODAY you can start to build positive rewards and experiences into your life which are not food-based.  TODAY you can take a step or two to progress toward the future you want for yourself.

You can do something positive to work toward hating yourself less by moving forward.  Time and youth are on your side.

These are lyrics from an old Gershwin song which resonate with me in my journey:

I'll build a stairway to Paradise
With a new step ev'ry day !
I'm gonna get there at any price;
Stand aside, I'm on my way !
I've got the blues
And up above it's so fair.
Shoes ! Go on and carry me there !
I'll build a stairway to Paradise
With a new step ev'ry day.

I wish you all the best on your own journey.

I am so thankful for OH and all the amazing people that I have the privilege to met here.

Thank you all for the support, kind word and encouragement.

In roughly one month I will have my final appointment with my surgeon. He will give me my surgery date. Confirm if Im having a VSG or a RNY, prescript my Optifast ( my liquid diet stuff)

From what his receptionist says, I should be booked in Dec, Jan the latest. I pray I can get in Dec. What an amazing way to start 2014 off.

I will do this, I will have success

Its gonna be a long road but it will be filled with tons of amazing experiences and NSV.

 

Thanks again. Sometime you just need ppl that know how you feel to give you a little kick.:

 

 

You can do this...don't fixate on the number either because that only means you will switch from one addiction (overeating) to another (scale)....go to the root of the problem and really understand why every single piece of food i****ting your lips.  You can do this!

Skin, after losing the 250, its not pretty that's for sure but would I go back to being 425lbs with diabetes?  Hell NO!  I prefer hiding the skin then having it full of fat and making me feel the way it used to.

You have to find a balance, you can't be happy with everything but take what would make you "happier"

I'm having my "cherry on top" at the end of this year when I go for skin removal, I can't wait!

This journey is SO worth everything, even the loose skin...lol

Happy Monday!

Nathalie