Afraid to be Thin.

As the time goes by and I find that I am becoming more successful this time in changing my life, weight/health wise I've began to have odd fears that I never thought I would have before I started.  I researched online and I found that a lot of people who are on these similar journies as we are deal with these feelings, so I thought maybe it would be helpful if we all share and see that we're not alone.

One thing that really bugs me, that's a good thing, but still really bugs me, is the loss of food as my drug/distraction.  It was the one coping mechanism that I used that worked every time.  Feel sad stuff my face, feel happy- well we have to celebrate=stuff my face, feel bored stuff my face.  And now when I experience any emotion, especially a stressful one, I feel like I have no where to turn.  I don't have any cravings anymore and I don't want to eat, but sometimes I kinda feel helpless; like I just have to weather the storms by myself; maybe that's a good thing, but I wish my mind and my body were on somewhat of a same level.  My body basically forbids me from eating to much, since I just can't anymore, but my mind immediatly wants to go to food so that I don't have to think of anything that bothers me.  I'll finish one of my meals and my mind wants me to keep eating even though I'm not hungry.  And this isn't like a head hunger, it doesn't create any false feelings of hunger...I guess my brain just feels really confused on what to do now.

Is there anything in life that is as good as food made us feel?  Is there anything that will fill that hole/void left by us abandoning our bad food choices?  I know that there are, but I guess I'm afraid, because my weight stopped me from doing a lot in life and now that I will have the opportunities it really scares me.  Can doing these things bring true happiness to my life and not the fake temporary happiness that food always brought?  Will I keep the weight off or will I feel too self conscience and gain it all back.

 

I know that this post is maybe a mixture of different feelings about different things, but I have to believe that we all must share a lot of these emotions and events in our lives and I would love to hear your guys opinions

Hi,

I have not had surgery yet, and I am trying to figure out ways to cope, even now.  I know I have to find a replacement.  I have tried drinking water everytime I want to eat and sometimes that helps.  Could you learn to crochet or some other craft.  I think it's just keeping yourself busy till the feelings pass.  The thing that scares me the most,and this may sound really stupid:  I have been overweight all my life and because of that I always knew who my real friends were and always knew people liked me for me, yes I thought I was cute, pretty even, but I was never cheerleader pretty.  My biggest fear is that I will attract a lot of superficial people in my life and have to try and figure out if they are liking me for the right reasons.  Also I have been so isolated in the last few years, losing weight may bring a lot of attention I don't know how to deal with.  The rejection always hurt, but there was consistency to it.  What if when I lose all this weight and someone doesn't like me, how do I deal with that?  Then they are rejecting my personality and my looks!  I always have worked hard on my personality because I felt that was all I had to offer.  The unknown scares me.  Being so addicted to sugar also scares me.  I have made great strides in my eating,  I only drink water and hardly ever snack between meals and haven't had any cookies, cake or pie in forever or candy, but Potatos are a hard one and pudding and ice cream and Popsicles.  I can't have the artificial sweeteners, they make me extremely sick as well as lactose, gluten and soy.  Any suggestions would be helpful.  Just wanted you to know I have fears too!  Hope they won't keep me from being successful!

Smiles:),

Lisa

i have stress I go to the pool , hot go to the pool, bored go to the pool,, some people run other find other ways but don'y use food, or alcohol, or drugs or gambling they are all very addictive, exercise can be addictive but its good for you  with in normal limits (I know a teenager did a lot of damage , by over doing the gym ,she went 3 times a day on different shifts for 2 hours each to lose weight even though she was very underweight and burned out her knees and back )

I've read books on the subject to help. Try "50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food" It helped a lot.

Do a search at your local library on overeating, emotional eating, etc. You may find ideas that help.

Good book!  Short and to the point

I had very similar concerns. I'm doing well, but I want to continue going well. I have started seeing a therapist, and I know that working with her on these issues is going to be critical to my ongoing success in losing weight and especially in maintenance. Good luck!

I'm pre-op and I have the same feelings myself. I was never a stress-eater (I actually stopped eating while stressed), but it has now reared its ugly head. I had a very stressful week last week and I caught myself overeating multiple times. I'm trying to get back on track, but it's scary to know that I'm having this issue. I also eat to celebrate or when I'm bored, so I have to find something else to do when I want to eat, but am not truly hungry.

I used to draw a lot, so I think I'll start back with that. I just have to find something (productive) to do instead of eating my emotions. I think that's what we all have to do. I also think we have to find out the root of why we use food to cope with our feelings. It's a long journey.

I'm also deathly afraid of being noticed after losing weight. I'm painfully shy and suffer from social anxiety, so I kind of enjoyed being ignored as an obese person. And now that I'll be losing weight...I just don't know how I'll handle any added attention. :/

Best of luck. I hope it all works out well for you. Heck, for all of us. :)

For about a year after surgery, exercise filled that void for me. The endorphins and pride from accomplishing things made me much happier and I didnt deal with too many of these issues. 

Post plastic surgery and back injury and 7 months of no exercise - my eating issues are raging full force, and i deal with this issue on a daily basis. 

The good thing is that I KNOW there are alternatives and things CAN get better, but its going to take a lot to find that one thing - "your happy place" so to speak. 

With weight loss comes ENERGY.  I now take great pride and satisfaction on cleaning up, organising, and just plain catching up on all the things I let go for so long around the house when all I could do was sit on the couch.  Look around your home and get stuff done, inside and out.  I'm 4 months postoperative, and my gardens have NEVER been this nice.  

WoooooooW!!  I understand where you are.  Thi**** me between the eyes:

Is there anything in life that is as good as food made us feel?  Is there anything that will fill that hole/void left by us abandoning our bad food choices?  I know that there are, but I guess I'm afraid, because my weight stopped me from doing a lot in life and now that I will have the opportunities it really scares me.  Can doing these things bring true happiness to my life and not the fake temporary happiness that food always brought?  Will I keep the weight off or will I feel too self conscience and gain it all back.

 

The good and bad of it is....Nope.  There is nothing that gives me that guilty pleasure-hate/love one-two punch combo like food did. Nothing.  No matter how much I exercise, how many distractions I employ or how much I have to do.  Nothing.  And I am grateful for that now, because that was part of my addiction to food -  the part i didnt like to look at or admit to. My Food Soap Opera.  It wasnt just how good it tasted smelled, felt going down, etc., for me it was the whole she-bang.The Drama of it  all.  Do you really want that back? 

I do love being outside, so when I am feeling one of those crazy urges and cant seem to get satisfied, I turn to that.  That's something that had always been there for me, but I find it easier to turn there now. It helps me get a grip, and gets me out of the house, and deal with the fears - and that fear of being thin! mine too.  I would have anxiety attacks about clothes, food, being really "seen" by people, feeling exposed, as many of us losers have.  Its part of the process too.  You are not alone. 

No magic answers here, but be kind to yourself, FORGIVE yourself for mistakes, and breathe through the fear, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when your vision gets blurry from the tears, shame, and fears.