Frusterated and Upset some TMI

I am currently PreOp and weigh 500LBS I know by no means that I am not small and I break things and I try my best to be delicate, but I just got lectured by my mother and asked what the hell are u doing in there when ur going to the bathroom your not rocking around on my toilet are u, how the hell am I supposed to clean my ass I mean I don't wanna be all rude and stuff but what does she expect me to do I am not a gymnist I feel like a huge disappointment and its like she doesn't get it shes not much smaller than me, why does she not understand and what am I supposed to do I cry after everyshower because its like I never showered in the first place because I am sweating so much, I dont like going to the bathroom but its kinda hard to avoid that I cant sleep at night because I cant get comfortable I cant use my sleep apnea machine because I need a new mask and my insurance wont cover it, I just feel like the world is against me and I wanna scream ughhhhhhhh.

try using a shower massager and wash your butt , I used to do that with my son when he was a baby and had a real messy dypper , should work fine for you butt I know the feeling im no light weight ether

I know life sucks right now. Ive been there. I wish I could say there was some magic way to make you feel better, but there's not. All you can do is be pro-active, continue on with your pre-op steps, put yourself and your health a priority in your life, and build a better future. That should hopefully give you some feelings of hopefullness and ease the mental burden a bit.

Big hug my friend.

I am preop also and i know what your saying...when i was younger my dad would tell me no one would ever love me or want me because im fat and he would say it looked like i had a truck tire around me....those things are hurtful and we never do forget..maybe forgive but not forget....i had a complete hysterectomy n january and let me tell ya lol i went thru 2 toilet seats because of movin around on the toilet...if ure big its hard to reach... It takes alot of courage i think and hope for the future to go thru with this surgery and from reading all the posts these are all amazing ppl that have been where we are now.... Dont let your mom get you down your keep going for your appointments and keep your head up we might be big but we are on the road to something amazing... Maybe your mom is a little jealous because she is big to and has never done anything about it? In my case my dad was embarassed of me he never said so but i know he was even tho he was 350 pounds... I have let ppl keep me down and knock me around my entire life....i know that you are going to have this surgery and you are going to do wonderful! And girl dont be afriad to ride that toilet like a cowboy toilet seats are only 5 bucks at walmart!!

Thank you all for your Kind words and for making me smile!! I love that people know what I am talking about here!

I know exactly what you are talking about except for the mother part my mom and dad paid for my surgery , they were and are very supportive .  You have my prayers and hopes for you to make it threw this. May be your mom is a lil jealous of the fact that your trying to change and she will still be obese ...just saying ( have no ideal ) . As a nurse there are things to help with cleaning you can ask for a script at ur next appt. or if you have no Ins. it looks like tongs you use in the kitchen. it workers. they are used on rehab. I was exactly your wt. , know what your going threw and you will make it threw this just pray. (dont mean to push religion) GOD BLESS

hugs

cindy

shame on your mother!  how can she lack such empathy like that when she is just about the same size.  The one place you should have acceptance and support is at home. 

Keep looking forward and work to get that surgery.  Where are you with it all ?  have you met with a surgeon?

Sorry to hear about your mother's attitude. She's probably angry with herself and not happy and taking it out on you! I think that most of the people you'll find on this particular board know exactly what you are going through in this area. I've broken a few toilet seats in my day due to the struggling and one of them wasn't even mine!!! Embarrassing!

Hang in there... keep trying!! Any weight lost will help in this area and before you know it, the struggle will seem like a distant memory. Keep using these boards for support and keep your chin up!!

I do understand part of how you feel.  I am over 500 pounds right now.  I had my surgery in 2004 and regained it all....but I'm back on track to losing again.  I just wanted to let you know that if you can afford it you might look into buying something like I use to wipe my own butt.  I can't exactly reach myself.  I hate to admit to that, but I think a lot would understand.  I used to think I was the only one.  It's called a Long Reach Comfort Wipe and I've ordered two off of Amazon.  Here is the link to what I'm talking about:  http://www.amazon.com/Jobar-JB5231-Long-Reach-Comfort/dp/B00 1G70QW8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373715393&sr=8-1&keywords=ba throom+helper

One note if you do get this...I can never get the toilet paper to do right.   So...I used baby wipes to make sure I am totally clean.  The baby wipes will fit this contraption nicely if you fold it right.  Then wipe from front to back.  Change and wipe again until you are clean.

This part may be too much info, but...I have to stand and prop one leg on the bathtub in order to reach to make sure I am clean.  I can't do this while sitting.

As for the showering...I totally understand.  It's like I never showed at all after I am finished and getting dressed.  I wanted to say also that if you have the shower wand type thing that is moveable you can spray down there and help get cleaner.

I wish you all the best.

Julie