I hate feeling like such a failure

Hey Allison sorry just saw this post today! You are far from a failure. You are a huge success. This is what you would tell someone else. But aren't we always so judgemental of ourselves? My ex-psychiatric kept asking me:"if your daughter was telling you this, what would you tell her". Oh my let me tell you he got me right there. Now when I despise myself, or hate myself, I think of him. It is a wirk in progress but I am starting to see change in me, niceness towards myself, self esteem coming back. There are no such things as failure Alisson. No human being is a failure. We are humans. We are what we are. Keep working on your issues. Don't abandon yourself by using hate words to describe you, your journey, your accomplishments, your success and even your failures. We do fail sometimes. But that doesn't make us failures. Or else the oppoosite would also be true. When we succeed, and you know you have in sooooo many ways, we would be successes. Weirdly, I have heard people qualifying themselves as failures but never in my life have I heard someone saying :"hey I am a success". Except for my 10 years old son who keeps saying that he is awesome. And he is. But it bothers me to constantly hear him say that. Why? Because we have such low self esteem that it seems unreal. Like loving ourselves too much shouldn't be right. So when it bothers me, I smile an tell him he is awesome and tell myself that I am too. Please apply the same kindness to yourself as a kid would

Cxxxxxx and hugs

Karine

Thank you for your post.  I feel like I am your shadow- so much of your experience, I've experienced in years gone by.  I want to tell you that you are a gladiator- no- an AMAZON.  Stay the course.  Whatever you do, just keep moving forward.  This race will go to the endurance runner.  You may feel like you are wandering blindly, and maybe so you are- that's the hope of therapy.  Till you get there, and I know you will, God grant you courage, grace, and wisdom in this with all the blessings that will come with the hard work     accomplished already and that that needs yet to be done.

hi alison,

i wont start by saying all fluffer nutter.

i have followed you for years and though we havent messaged before you are one of my biggest inspirations here.  you may be going through a rough/tough time right now but girl, i know this is just a speed bump for you. your advise and statements made over time have helped and coached many a person here. you know what your doing and how to do it.  we are all going to have challenges and feel depressed over what we are doing. you have come so far, had plastics and started to live life, just like me.  i struggle everyday with the same challenges but your posts and success are what help me continue.  i know you can do it.  and if you need a kick in the butt, tell us. all the vets know your journey and path getting there and we will (and the newbies) be there for you, for a kick, cyber hug, suggestions, advise etc. we are all sisters and brothers here and though miles separate us, the surgeries unite us.

you can do this...you have before and will get back on track!

You're not a failure. You're dealing with the lies that depression whispers in your ears. You can learn how not to listen to those lies, I'm sure of that.

My one piece of advice would be that whatever changes you make to lose the weight you've gained, that they be sustainable things you can do forever. Short term solutions have short term results.

Maybe try adding back meal planning & journaling if they've fallen by the wayside...lots of control comes from those tools.

And remember - you're fighting 1000s of years of evolution. We crave the rush of neurotransmitters we're rewarded with when we eat fatty, sugary or salty foods...they give us immense, but short lived, pleasure. At some point of food scarcity in our distant ancestors' past, those people who got that rush, and who were very efficient at converting excess calories into fat survived, and thrived, and left descendants who became us. But now we live in an obesegenic environment where those evolutionary forces have stopped helping us.

This is not your fault. This is not a failure of will. At best it's a sign that you've not learned new coping skills for periods of stress and instead are reaching for the known 'stress reliever' from your past. And who doesn't do that sometimes?

You can handle this.

The body is full of surprises.  I was on an international flight and a ate a whole sandwich.  I never eat an entire sandwich because bread makes me so full.  When I realized that I ate it, I got worried that I would have pain and throw up.  Nothing happened.  Later once we reached our destination, I noticed that I wasn't feeling full at my next meal.  But this time I was more aware and stopped eating.  What happened later?  My restriction returned to normal. I still  don't know why it seemed to go away for those two meals, but I was relieved that I didn't get sick. We can't explain everything. The body is just plain complicated. But I just try to stick to the amount that I know is appropriate.

How are you feeling?? I hope you are having a better week.

Allison, how is the Whole 30 going?  I really think the Paleo diet is a really great persepective and I try to follow it most of the time.