I hate feeling like such a failure

Wow....if only life were that simple. I'm a little beyond "just getting back on track". 

I feel your pain, the head game of this addiction is really bad. I feel like I'm bypolor one min. I'm up then I'm down as my wt. changes. My prayers are with you. I don't know what exactly you are going threw but I just hit my 6 month and i feel less restriction and it has really got me down , because I wanted to loose 200 lbs in 6 months I know that was crazy but we can all dream ...lol... I have been struggling since the day i had surgery I am a big ole gal and I have a lot of issues that most dont have to deal with.  food was my life,  now it runs my life still everyday my life is all about how i will do to day.  will i graze at nite will i save my uneaten lunch and eat again in just 2 hours...I guess I'm saying I'm here if you need a ear or shoulder. and will pray that the lord gives you the strength to get threw this!!!

hugs

cindy

No words of advice...just a big virtual hug for you!

(((hugs))) Depression is dreadful. It whispers nasty little lies in our ears. Don't believe those whispers. You are a fabulous person deserving of happiness and health.
I have a question, and I really do not mean to be stupid or impertinent so I hope it doesn't come out that way. Here goes: for those of us with rny, our pouches are designed to accomodate more food over time up to a certain point; but not like a nonop stomach. Is that true of the sleeve too? I ask because if it does then would it follow that this is a natural progression of the capacity to eat more? A hotdog and hamburger--the buns and dog--would chew down pretty well.

Capacity does increase over the first 6-12 months for most people, but the sleeve is made (or supposed to be) from the least stretchy tissue of the stomach so it's not supposed to stretch. But then...in cases of serious, repeated binge eating...it will stretch that tissue out...now, i dont think it can ever get to a non-op size, but i can still eat way more than most 2 yr post op VSG people. 

Ah, I see. Thank you for explaining. I am thinking good thoughts for you. Please be gentle with yourself. We are our own worst critics. Take care. We are behind you all the way.

I really question that now after my experience. Sure, I do have good restriction but it is definitely not what it was 12 or more months ago and I do have hunger. I realize that is actually a good thing because our body's need to move from the starvation mode to healthy, mini meals mode but I seriously think the VSG pouch stretches more than doctors think.

Hi Alison,

I read your post and just want to say that you are far from a failure in my book. I do think you are going through some heavy **** and you are dealing with the depression, anxiety and other emotions that accompany this part of your journey. You are still fighting the fight, so don't fool yourself into thinking that there is no hope. If there were no hope, you wouldn't be posting here at all. You would have already given up.

You will get to the bottom of this. I'm certain of it. You may feel that you are beyond the point of simply getting back on track, but I think you know what you need to do. For some reason the food right now holds a lot of value to you on some level. It has more value to you at some level than your size or your health. Deep down you know why you are making the choices you are making. I'm glad that you are finding someone who will help you see your truth. 

Everything we eat comes at a price. You're just willing to pay a high price for what you're eating right now. That will change. You are smart. You are powerful. And you can be one driven ******!

I love ya! Keep fighting. I'm in your corner - always!

Hugs.

 

What Kairk said. Why don't you read what you wrote and pretend that someone else wrote it? What would you say to them - and be honest... you wouldn't be that hard on them, would you?

Give yourself a big hug, be kind to yourself. Positive reinforcement.

I'm SO glad you got approved. I know you're struggling right now. Know you are loved beyond all belief and that you have an army of folks behind you. HUGS.

Just saw your post today and wanted to send billions of virtual hugs.

I know what it feels like to be depressed, it's the most awful, desperate feeling I've ever felt. I'm so happy you've been referred to someone who might be able to help. To be honest, I actually think it's a huge accomplishment that you're only 10-15 lbs heavier than you were a year ago given everything that you're dealing with.

I don't think you're a failure. I mean this in a nice way... but I'm pretty sure you are the only person who sees yourself as a failure. I feel the same way, like a failure, and I know it can be really hard to hear when someone says otherwise. My brain sort of cringes whenever someone pays me a compliment because I just reject the thought that I've done anything positive, ever.

I also don't think you've ruined your sleeve. That doesn't sound like that much food to me (given I can probably out eat 99.99999% of people on these boards, and I've never felt overly full ).

I don't know if you still have my number, but if not I'll PM it to you, cause... you should call me. I want that meat muffin recipe :P

*billions more virtual hugs*