Scatterbrained....

 

Hi Everyone!  I am new here and it's my first post :)
 

After waiting on the "list" here in Quebec I decided not to wait any longer and I am going Self-Pay on June 11th.  My Surgeon and I decided on the Roux En Y Gastric Bypass.  I am 475lbs, 5'8= BMI is 72.  So my question to everyone is this.  Since the day I booked the surgery my anxiety and moods have gone through the roof.  I haven't even started Optifast yet (which I have to do for 4 weeks starting on the 13th).  I am being followed by a therapist,  btw! I cry over food, I lack concentration, I am worried about what this is going to do to my relationships (family and otherwise).  My therapist says I need to treat my relationship with foods as a loss of  a loved one but we learn to cope with that type of loss, don't we?  I am not losing food forever- I have to change my relationship with food, not end it! Ugh.  Don't get me wrong, I am sooo excited.  I am looking forward to absolutely EVERYTHING about losing this weight!!! Even this post is scatterbrained....did anyone else experience this type of anxiety? 

question - not a judgment - do you think you're ready for the surgery?

I'm biased in favour of a longer pre-op period wherein you learn to develop healthy eating habits, deal with food issues, and generally prime yourself for success before surgery. The biggest predictor of success post surgery is the degree to which you can adopt the post-surgical lifestyle before surgery.

After surgery there are few foods off limits forever. I think a lot of preops get focused on the strictness of the eating plan and tend to think of it like a diet. It isn't. It is a lifestyle change. That means a cookie may happen.
Language helps me, as in 'everyday foods' ie lean protein, vegetables, and dairy; 'sometimes foods'ie nuts and fruit;and 'once in awhile food' ie cakes and sweets. I do have foods that I do not--not cannot--eat ie bread and pasta. But that is because I do not have good decision making skills around those foods.

Of course I did feel that way and still sometimes do! It is normal. Work on that relationship with your therapist. Are you a binge eater? Where in quebec are you from? I am also from quebec. Self paying with who?

I feel 100% ready for the surgery, just a little anxiety about all the changes.  Karine, I am in Montreal having the surgery done SelfPay with Dr. Christou.  I was on the wait list for a year and decided that I couldn't wait any longer! My surgery is June 11th and I am starting my Optifast next Monday.  I have been working with a therapist since last year and she has really helped me with a lot. She confirmed that all these feelings are normal and that she would be more concerned if I wasn't having them! I was just curious how you may have dealt with them!

I still deal with them! How? I don't know. There are no specialmagical way. You have to find your own ways to deal with your food issues. But I strongly beleive that this is and will be an issue for our whole life.

I got my sleeve in mtl with dr gagner! Cheaper than cristou.

Keep on working with therapist.

First of all, welcome and great to see you post!

You said you cry over food. Is this just since knowing you are going through with the surgery? Also your not sure what it will do with your relationships with family and ect. Are you referring to the surgery decision or the food eating when around family?

Food will always be there through out your life. RNY is not the end all to food. It is a big decision as you will need to take vitamins the rest of your life and watch drinking alcohol and eating sweet foods. Breads and pastas and rice will be in small quantity with other foods being more important for your needs. Everyone tolerates different foods. The further you go out from your surgery date, the more important it is for you to have those good habits to include exersise! You will have a new "baby" tummy and you will want to train yourself to be good to your tummy. Keeping with your therapist sounds like a good thing. But you will not be losing food. Your tastes will probably change a lot after surgery. Sort of like a detox. Keeping in mind why you are choosing surgery and the mindfulness and awareness especially the further you go out from your surgery, This is merely one of the many tools you will have in the life long journey this will be. The surgery will not do it for you alone, but it will not be the end to all foods. You can eat crap food, you may or may not get sick with it. This is why it is so important to have things in control before going through the surgery!

Having natural supports such as family and friends will be important. If you do not have that around you, maybe there is a WLS/Bariatric support group you could attend. Once a month or something like that. I know that this has been a wonderful help in the journey of mine. People can give suggestions... Or just hearing success or even struggles can help. You can be a help to others to. Awareness and accountability plus understanding of those who know and understand!!

This is going to be your journey, there may be those that think you may fail, or you are trying to take an easy way out to lose the weight! Again, this is yours. It will be hard, and you will need a lot of PAITIENCE. Your journey will be longer the higher BMI but is very doable.

Coming here to OH is a great way to put questions out there, read and hear what others are going through, great, wonderful, not so great, ****ty, and so on. This is a great forum, hope and wishing you the best!

Hugs

Lucky2Talk2,

I have seen your profile and posts since I joined.  You trully are an inspiration to me.  What you have accomplished it so amazing and I will take any advice you have to offer!  I have a wonderful support system, my boyfriend of 6 years, my best friends and my family are very much behind me.  The crying has come from the fact that I know I will never have the same relationship with food again.  I take comfort in food!  My girlfriends are also bigger women therefore our relationships are surrounded by food and I am scared the relationships with them will change.  Well, I already know they will change!!! With the advice of my therapist I have spoken to those close to me about my expectations and theirs as well.

I have been working with a therapist for the past year about my food dependance and I will be attending my first support group meeting in a few weeks. Which, I might add,am very excited about.  I am looking forward to meeting women and men that really understand what am going through and about to embark on. This site has been great too.

I am doing a lot of planning for after the surgery but I have also enlisted friends to help me purge my appartment of unwanted "stuff" and do a huge spring cleaning and re-paint so that when I come home from the hospital I will really feel like I am moving into my new life.  I felt like I had to organize and prepare!

Thank you so much for all your advice, I really appreciate it :)

You got this pretty lady!! You are doing the things necessary! Great to hear you have family and friends there and supports! You are preparing them and you it sounds like. I have my super big and big friends and things have not changed with them and I. The eating has changed and we respect each other as are friendships are still strong. Food being a comfort and enjoyment I totally get, and it revolving around so much in life. We have to eat. For me digging into healthy yummy tasting alternatives and learning the equations of calorie equal to a pound and burning the right amount has made life so much more enjoyable! Not always easy, but yet so simple!
Truly excited for you!!!
This will be life changing in so many different ways!

Hugs

I have to agree with "gonna about "lucky". The amount of weight you have lost is incredible. Your words and wisdom are very inspiring. Im pre-op and read on here daily. Ive made changes to my relationship with food. Im in my 2nd month of the pre-op diet and my 1st appt. with the surgeon on friday. It helps to have a great support system but if your like me, I have the backup but only 1 friend who has actually been thru this and truly understands. I dont think anyone know what changes are in store unless they have been this this kind of surgery. Good Luck on your journey. I know you'll do just Great!! Ill be thinking of you. And thanks Lucky for all your wonderful advice.