Teenagers should be rounded up and shot

Quick rant before I start my workday...

I have two stepsons that live with my husband and I. They see their mom about 3 or 4 times a year but other than that, they are with us all the time.  We have had them full time for over a year now and I drive the oldest to school every day and usually go straight to the gym after I drop him off. 

This morning, I got up and got on the scale before changing into my gym clothes and I had lost another 2 pounds! I was really happy because that puts me at 308.8... Less than 9 pounds away from the 200s and over 53 pounds lost! I was so happy! I got my clothes on and started gathering up my workout stuff and my stepson comes out and we are chatting and I ask him if he knows how much weight I've lost now.  He asked me a couple of weeks after surgery if I had lost any weight but he hasn't asked since.  I told him that it was 53 pounds and he just looks at me and says "Well, that's just because you had surgery".

I said that yes, the surgery definitely helped but that I have been working hard.  I asked him if he thought I hadn't been doing anything to help myself lose weight.  And he said, well, i guess working out helps.  I just kinda sat there and he walked away to get his jacket and I started getting pissed.  When he came back, I said that there is a lot of stuff that I really want to eat but don't and that I plan all my meals and measure and weigh everything I eat.  He has seen me do all this.  I pick up pizza for them or cook his favorite pasta dishes and I eat grilled chicken and broccoli.  The more I sat there, the more angry I got.  I just went outside and waited for him in the car.

I dropped him off at school (thank goodness the school is only like 2 miles away) and just started crying on the way to the gym.  I know he is only 14 and I know he's a stupid kid but that really hurt.  I understand that people who never had weight problems or don't know about the surgery can think that after the surgery, weight just falls off and you don't have to do anything. But this kid lives with me. He saw me at 362 pounds never exercising and sitting on the couch eating bags of potato chips and pizza... I haven't had one bite of pizza or chips or cakes or anything. And that **** is all over my house because of him and his brother.  I don't deny them anything, they get all the crap junk food they want and I just refrain.  He sees me weighing my food, he sees the tiny salads I eat for dinner. I guess he thinks that's all I can eat and that I have no cravings for the other food. He doesn't understand that just because my stomach is smaller doesn't mean I don't want to eat those foods. And that I can eat them if I wanted to but I choose not to! It just really hurt me... I didn't expect for him to throw a party for me but a "that's nice" or "that's good" would have been nice.

I guess I am asking too much from a kid and I need to just get over it. I know he doesn't understand and he doesn't get it at all... it still hurt. Bleh... teenagers!

Ah... kids. Just do your thing and let it go, you already know that's what you need to do. Trust me... eventually, they will tell you how proud they are when they "see" it one day. They see you every day and the change isn't as evident to them - not to mention they are self-absorbed and you're just a stupid adult anyway. LOL.

You're doing GREAT. Keep it up and do you.

Thanks, Candy! Yea, I will get over it.  One day when I run circles around his boney little ass, he will see how much work I've done! :-)

I'm sorry you were hurt by this kid....but i believe this is something we all encounter.......

My 58 year old friend said something along the same lines last week in front of a bunch of our friends.  Someone commented on my shrinking size and before I could say thank you, she said, "well anyone can be skinny if they go under the knife". It took everything I had not to bulldoze her. This is a christian woman who works out with me 3 of the 5 days I go to the gym. She sees how little I eat and how hard i work out. I was angry and hurt. I still cannot talk to her about it. She knows how I feel, because she has been "too busy" to work out this week with me.

A former co-worker said the same thing to me recently when she saw me at a local basketball game. She is a life-long skinny chick who has put on about 20 lbs in her middle and seemed really furious that I am losing weight. She made a ridiculous comment about how fat people lose pounds magically because they are so fat.......yeah right!

At least your little antagonizer is only 14. I'd sit him down in a few days when you are having one of your sweet moments and after you tell him you love him, tell him one of the reasons you are working so hard to lose the weight is so you will be around a long time to see him grow up. Maybe he just needs to feel the love........

Hugs,

Sharon

 

Kudos to you, Sharon, for not smacking that lady in the face! LOL  I know lots of people are gonna make comments like that and I fully expect it from ignorant or jealous adults... I guess I just thought my stepson would see all I am doing and understand that it's not magic and know how hard I am working.  Oh well... Guess you never know what is going to come out of a kid's mouth.  I don't understand how adults can make those comments though. They may think it but to say it just makes me wonder what kind of people they really are. 

At least we have places like this to come and vent and have others understand our frustration.  I think I need to prepare a comeback if someone else says something to me like that.  Make them realize what an ass they are! :-)

I hope you have other places to get your validation. I have 2 kids and have taught middle and high school for over 20 years now. The world revolves around them. They are oblivious to everything else. I lost over 130 pounds during the school year after my surgery. NOT A SINGLE STUDENT mentioned my weight loss. Nope, not one. It did not bother me at all. I went to support groups and came here a lot and that is where I got my support. I did not expect it anywhere else.

Keep being the good example that you are. They will appreicate that someday.

Thanks Laura! I do have other support, my husband and family and friends are very excited and supportive. I just thought since this kid and I have a really good relationship and always have that he might be excited for me too. But I remember what it was like to be 14 and you're exactly right, it's all about them! I'm over it now and didnt let it hurt me anymore. He's still a sweet kid, just still a kid!! Thanks for ur support too!!

Kids can be such ****s.  My step son (Who's 24, so don't hope they'll get better because they won't) told me I'd always be fat, because, well, I've always BEEN fat.  I told him he'd have to eat those words someday.  I've lost 100 lbs and only have 77 more to go before I have a little plastic surgery (after which I WILL no longer be fat)...and he hasn't commented AT ALL.  Which I think is almost worse.

 

 

Awwwwww..... I'm so sorry your step-son was so cruel. Remember, living well is the best revenge.

Keep up the great work!!

I think it is also that they fon't really SEE it! We have a hard time catching up ourselves. They are kids fter all! Last thursday I showed my 8 months pictures (posted here) to my 9 years old and he looked at it, looked at me, started laughing and said:"mommy this was really you? I fon't remember. Wow". So I asked him which one looked better he tolled his eyes at me and said:"well this one mommy (showing the after 8 months). The other one dorsn't even look like you"

Maybe he is a 14 sellfish boy that doesn 't see it. Wait, be patient!