There I said it, It feels nice for once not being the biggest person in the room.

         It been a year and 8 months since my surgery.  I been through so many changes.  Ever since I started kindgarden. I have always been the fattest person in the room.  Face it  growing up fat as a kid and teenager was just Hell and my life was miserable. Even as and adult.  I had family that was fat but, They loved me.  When the biggest fattest person in the room .   People  are either staring at in hateful way or ignoring  or pretending that your not there.  It hard to hide when the biggest person in the room.  It crazy to go into room or a store and just be a normal person.  Kids not  staring at you and pointing. I am nowhere near being skinny.  I am 205 and wear a size 18.  and size large   shirt. That from wearing a size 6 X.  I was so big the largest size clothes at Catherine plus size  store were actually tight.  I am 44 year old and nice for once not being the biggest person in the room.  I spent almost 40 years being fattest person in the room. The shame that came with being fat . Being may to feel bad about your self. It not that it is no long there.  I,m gotten strong and am at a place in my life where no  one is capable of hurting  me ever again.  In my heart always be that three pound fat girl and will always remind how she felt. Her feeling  are an important part of me.  But, I also able to move on with my life.  It blows my mind sometimes,  When people  just want to come and talk to me.  As fat person that never happened. Nothing really changed about me But, My weight.  So Sometime , I am actually shock and mind goes blank and I  have to think of things to say.  I mean . I am not stupid.  I know how to talk to people and be out in public.  But, All have to say is that things have changed.

Hallelujah!!!  I totally get where you're coming from!!!

I have always been the biggest person in the room, the theater, the classroom, the restaurant etc...

I have spent the last 38 years in that situation.  I have come to forgive a few people from my childhood past for their torture and ridicule as an adolescent.  It felt good to do that and it will feel even better to see who else turns heads when I lose the weight. Not sure how I will deal with it when then do but I will cross that road when it comes.

I understand exactly what you mean. And I spent a lot of time worrying about things that are non-issues to most people; will the chairs in the restaurant have arms, will I fit in the theater seat (I love musical theater, but most of the major theaters here in Chicago are old and have relatively narrow seats), will I be able to buckle my seatbelt in a friend's car--you know the drill. You can now answer those questions "doesn't matter/yes/yes"--good for you! Enjoy the whole new world out there!

Terri,

Hi, What part of the city? I live SW in the burbs.

Hugs,

Sharon

Sorry--just found this.  Far western 'burbs, Kane County.

I was ALWAYS the fattest everywhere we went. Now when I see my replacement, I always make a point of talking to her/him and making them feel comfortable.

It's so funny (not really) how we all noticed that. I used to worry about it all the time. "am I going to be the fattest?" and I always was.

I did the hiring at my company. I used to hire fatties and my boss made a point of telling me no more fat people. I argued they had the best backgrounds and education and he didn't care. Was I committing reverse discrimination?????

My dream is to wear an 18 like you. I am currently a 22 from a 34. (5x) I feel like a feather. Funny how most people who are a size 22 feel like a whale. I guess it's all about perception.

I am so happy for you.

Have a great day!

Sharon

I totally get it. I was sitting at a table with my friends a while back and it struck me... I wasn't the largest person there. I wasn't the smallest either, but I was right "average" with my group. Kind of a mind blowing thought. I just smiled, ate more of my soup and floated on cloud 9 for a while. It's the small personal, internal triumphs that mean a lot to me :) xoxo

I so get that.  Its so nice not being the biggest one.  I work for a large company and I was always the biggest one.  Every meeting or gathering.  I also could not shop at Catherine's or the Avenue.  I had to get most of my clothes on-line.  I would panic when I traveled if they lost my luggage I would have been in a pickle.    

Im with ya! About the same size too in an 18 bottom and 14/16 top. Love going places and not standing out and its totally weird having people go out of their way to talk to you or open doors, smile, make eye contact...things that I didnt realize didnt happen until I lost weight and people started doing this. Now if I stand out its not usually for being fat LOL.

Good for you!! I totally agree!! I have always just wanted to blend in and not have attention drawn to myself.