Negativity.

How do you deal with it? I tossed and turned about having this surgery for months, everyone said they were supportive. Now that I just received my surgery date, now they want to share their concerns? I looked online to find some kind of forum and I've been reading a lot of posts for about a week now. I love this site. Thank you so much to those that post questions, pictures, advice and rants. It makes me feel human. To be honest, I'm scared. Really scared. But I know I have to do something different. I don't want to weighmore than a baby elephant. I've been bullied since I was 4 years old, to the point where the only way I wouldn't get bullied was if I become the bully to those that bullied me. I feel horrible because now that's still the bad rap that I carry. I have no one to share my concerns with or ask questions to. I thought that I could do it alone, but I can't and I need help. Does anyone ever regret the decision to have surgery? Can I have the surgery and be okay without plastics? 

Welcome Beautiful Rayah!

I can only speak for myself; but I can say without a single doubt, that I have NEVER regretted anything as it pertains to my WLS journey. I do wish I could have done this years ago, but it is what it is, and I cannot regret anything that is such a beautiful gift.

It is normal to be afraid of something you have never experienced. I can honestly admit I was never for a minute afraid prior to the surgery. I was calm and ready. I slept like a baby the night of the surgery and believed it was 100% the best thing i could do for myself.My mind and spirit were ready. I spent a lot of years trying to have the surgery so when it finally was approved, I was more than ready. With that said, many fear the surgery itself.

This site and this room is a great place to come for support, to get any questions answered and to be who you are without any apology.

There are so many success stories here. It is a safe place to come and give as much as you feel comfortable giving.

I'm so sorry you have been bullied. I personally never experienced that. I have known many mean girls though. Many in their 40 and 50's who I have had to work with in the workplace. I am always amazed at how nasty middle aged women can be.

I have never considered plastics and I know many who have not had any plastics. It is a personal decision and a  door I have left open to see how I feel and look when I have lost this final 75 lbs I will eventually lose. I have lost much slower than most, but I am happy with that and have learned to just enjoy the journey and get to know the old me again. I have learned as you lose the pounds and inches, your old self comes back and I am getting to know this person again.

I am hoping you are willing to share more about yourself as the journey continues.

Hugs,

Sharon

Welcome to this forum and to the OH site! You are in a great place here and post questions all you want! We are all here and have been in simular situations and had simular feelings. Surgery itself is scary, no matter what surgery. But for alot of us, not having the surgery was more scary than having the surgery.
As far as for me, I to have not regretted the decision to have the RNY surgery. I feel it helped me save my life and I know for a fact it has helped me to live life and not just be alive. This is a tool that in your weight loss journey can be great and giving you that boost in the beginning. If you use it right it will help you for quite some time.
As far as being bullied, that is sad... I understand though. I have been the biggest in every place I was since I was about 4 years old. My twin brother was skinny and I was enormously big. I learned though that I was important to and tried to make life still be ok. Although I know now the true hurt even more than the times that I hurt then.
You realize for yourself that you bullied to cover up the pain. It sounds as though you are trying to make changes and do right now. This is great steps, so yeah for you! Living in the past is not going to be good so let go of that. Move forward from now... in the present. Life will be challenging with other reasons for someone to find fault somewhere in your life. Be who you want to be and stay positive in your changes that you are making strides with!
As far as the skin. Plastics is something that is a personal desire of mine. I have had some plastics done already due to the size I was when I finally took control of things I needed to long ago. However, the shape and size that you are and pending how you feel about yourself as you lose. But even if I was not able to have any further plastics, I would be still not a minute of regret!!
Clothes can hide the skin. Undergarments are really amazing.
I went from not being able to wear underwear to now being able to wear pretty undies and the garments that help to hold in. I feel like a lady in the clothes that I get to wear now. I used to only get to wear mens clothing or special made slinky clothing for so many years. Then in the final times before losing and being in this journey... I could not even wear alot of those clothes that were specially made for me. I rather spent alot of time with a sheet over me.

So, not sure where you are in this journey but do not let the scared feelings stop you. If you have done your research and you know what you want... then go forward with it! Come in here, ask questions, and know we all have common grounds. Your journey will be unique to you and your body, all results are different for us all. But the losers bench will be yours.

Hugs,
Sherrie

Welcome!

I can tell you I was petrified all the way up to laying on the table waiting. I have never been so scared in my life. I was worried if something happened to me what would happen to my husband & small children. I thought making this decision was selfish of me bc if I died they would be without their mom even if I just laid around at least I was there. All of these thoughts were on replay in my mind.

And then I woke up all done a bit sore but I saw my husband's face and was never so grateful.

I am a year & half out....and like Sherri said there is such a difference in living and just being alive. I have not regretted my decision. I am actively participating in my children's lives.

Making the decision for plastics will come in time. But whatever decisions you make about your weight loss journey let them be your decision. There are a lot of nay sayers who speak out of a lack of understanding.

Good luck!

Of people try to tell you negative things about surgery, just tell them you have done your research and this is the best choice for YOU. You have to learn to forgive yourself for the past. That was my biggest lesson to learn. I had to have surgery for myself and my kids. Other people's opinions did not really bother me much. I have thick skin.

As far as plastics goes, I could have managed without it, but I scrimped and saved and found a way to get it done.  I had my arms done first because you cannot hide arms here in the south. They were relatively inexpensive to have done ($3900). I would have been fine with just that done, but I have a few blessings along the way that allowed me to get a lbl/bl. I still could use breast implants and a thigh lift, but probably never will due to cost. Now I am perfectly content "as-is". After you are done losing, if you are unhappy, choose one body part and find a way to get it done.

Hang in there. It's definitely a roller coaster, but worth it!!

Thank you, all of you, for replying back. I feel a lot better now that I've been going through the forums and reading your replies. It was a rough day yesterday. Since I'm new to this thing, please forgive me as I try to learn all these new tricks and trades and acronyms. Lol. I guess alittle history for me, I'm 24 years old. I married the most patient, understanding and loving husband ever  and in 9 days, we make 2 years. He was my highschool sweetheart and the only one to tell me that being big wasn't an issue for him and he loves me anyway. His family stopped all communication when he told them we were getting married. Haven't heard anything since which really through me into a depression phase. I felt like if I wasn't fat, my husband would be able to have his family back. I was pretty big before but I gained a lot more weight after this happened. I live in Hawaii so food is everything. I'm Hawaiian and my husband is Samoan so I can tell you right now, we LOVE food. I was told it was impossible to have kids because of my weight. I was diagnosed with PCOS at the very unstable age of 16. Having a baby, for me, was one of those things I grew up knowing I was born to be a mother. I was heartbroken for a very long time. Still trying to deal with that everyday but God has been a constant companion. Hopefully with this HUGE opportunity, I will finally be able to get and keep this weight off. I've spend thousands of dollars on diets, pills, drops, meals, shots, doctors and I've only gotten bigger. My surgery is scheduled for January 15. Pre-op is this coming Thursday and I seriously can't keep a smile off my face! I'm so excited to not only have this surgery but to share my journey with you all. 

On a side note, for some reason, the site won't let me go back through and edit without deleting everything I wrote so please excuse my typos! Lol. Have a great Monday everyone! 

Hi Rayah!

I feel like you and I have a lot in common.  I am a little older than you but I have been married to my husband for almost 2 years. My husband says he thinks I'm beautiful every day and says he doesn't care about my size but I do.  I feel like the things we can do are limited by me. I have to be careful where we go because I may not fit into the chairs, etc.  I have been big my entire life and probably spent more on diet books, pills and weight loss programs than it would cost to have this surgery 4 times!! I have lost a lot of weight on some of them but then I gain it back.  My husband and I are both Italian so food and pasta and bread are huge for us also.  My husband has never been over 200 pounds but he loves food as much as me.

I'm sorry to hear about your issues with fertility; I hear that women who have the surgery and lose alot of weight become very fertile! So you never know what may happen! 

Good luck on your preop visit.  Mine is on Wednesday and I hope everything goes great for you!! Happy new year!!

I'm so excited for you! Your preop is today! One step closer! Let me know ho it goes! Happy new year!