~18 month check up with my surgeon

Sorry for the cross post from my blog, but I thought this was worth sharing here... I know when I was starting out at such a large BMI, it helped to read the "good stuff" :)

So, after nearly 3 weeks of floating between 177-181, I'm at a new low. 176.8! Yay! If history holds (scroll all the way down to see my weekly/monthly numbers) I will lose 1-3 pounds in the next week or so. That would put me at my goal of 175. 200 pounds loss. WHO THE HELL DOES THAT???

Why, this girl. That's who.

But wait... there's more!

I met with my surgeon yesterday. I think he's as amazed as I am that I'm where I am today. He usually doesn't see this level of loss, I'm way over where he expected me or anyone that started at my size to be. We talked about that and the fact that I think mental health is the biggest missing piece of people that get bariatric surgery. It was an interesting conversation because I was telling him about support groups and he said how, almost 100% of the time, if you really talk to someone that is stuck or whatever, there's a reason. Whether they have accepted it or not, is a whole other kettle of fish, but there's always a reason - or an excuse. I think it really comes to mental health.

Well, that and a determination to get your **** done and stop making up excuses. You guys know me. I am FAR from perfect. I've had my fair share of issues. Hell, this past weekend I had a giant cookie for lunch (no really, a BIG FREAKING SOFT AMAZING CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE drizzled with chocolate syrup too). Why? Well, because I wanted it. Best choice? Probably not, but if I hadn't have gotten it, I would have been in a bad place later because I had it in my head that I wanted a cookie. But you know what? I made a very conscious choice to eat that cookie. And you know what else? I logged that bad boy in my food log. I have to make myself accountable. I lied to myself (and others) for YEARS about my food choices and I'm done doing that. AND it didn't send me spiraling down. They don't trigger me like some foods (hi crackers!)

What I've learned over the past 17+ months is that this process isn't about your stomach or surgery. It's about your head. It's about knowing yourself. It's about learning how you tick and learning what YOU have to do to be successful. I've heard others sometimes refer to themselves (and me) as a "slow loser". But really, look at your numbers, overall. I've lost 198.2 pounds in 18 months. WHO THE HELL DOES THAT? Why is the fact that I lost 6 pounds in month 17 "slow'? I think the people here are WAY too hard on themselves. Learn about yourself, learn about your body and stop making up excuses.

So... Dr. Ganta and I also talked about goal weights. I'm pretty much at "goal" but I'm not done. We talked about plastic surgery too. What he thinks is that I keep doing what I'm doing and when it's been a few months and I've not really lost anything, he said THEN he would talk to a plastic surgeon. Yeah, I could get it now, but ride this as long as I can. He also said that he doesn't see any reason I can't get to 150 on my own if I really want to BEFORE plastics. I'm kind of shocked. I'm not sure if I'm ready to update my goal weight to 150. I mean part of me is all "oh hell yeah, go big or go home, baby!" but the other part of me is like "Me? 150??" I don't know what I'm going to do. I know at some point I will just stop losing and I'm not sure if I do that at 152 that it won't make me nuts so I don't know what I'll do with my tickers and "goal weights". Not really looking for advice. It's something I have to work out in my own head.

Anyway... so, he's super proud of me and I got a big hug at the end of the appointment. He's usually very reserved, but ya know what? This man gave me my life back and probably saved my life. Well, I guess I saved my own life, but it was his skill and his pressure and confidence in me that helped me keep going.

Me. At a regular BMI. He thinks I can do it. I think I can too. This is where it's going to get even harder though. I know that.

A side note for self-pay patients: My fee included a year of follow up. PLEASE do this, in fact I hope your surgeon requires it. I think it's important. This was an appointment I had to pay on my own since my insurance doesn't cover it, but it's $100 well spent to keep myself in check. I think I needed that accountability time with him.

I feel like you took the words right out of my mouth about every point in your thread.

I'm maintaining between 174 and 178 but I always want to go down to 155, normal bmi for me and keep making excuses to myself about staying here at this point.  I also have to work this mental issue.  My best excuse right now is thT its ok for now to stay at this weight because I've been "sacrificing" for the past 2 years and that's when I realized how stupid it is to actually use the word "sacrificing".  How dare I think this was sacrificing.

And then I read about people saying that they are "stuck" at xxxlbs and its probably because their body is comfortable at that weight and I'm thinking, its not your body that's comfortable, its your excuse to be ok for not loosing anymore because we are hard on ourselves and afraid to even remotely think that even after losing xxxlbs that we can still be failures!  Oh the power of the mind!

I still have and always will have so much mental issues to work on!

have a great weekend and ty for posting this...glad you did,

nathalie

Yup... mine is, "I've come so far, I deserve to have XYZ"... I catch myself a LOT with that.

Lost a bunch this morning (typical pattern, nothing for 2-3 weeks and then WHOOSH) so just half a pound to go. Then I'll revise it. I dunno what to yet... I'm going to sit "at goal" for at least a day and then decide :)

Great post friend...

You are awesome!

I love the cookie story because my trigger is crackers too.  When I have a rare cookie, I don't feel bad.  But those darn crackers! It is about knowing yourself, loving yourself, being honest with yourself, and being accountable to yourself.  You are a great example.

Congrats!!!!!

The reality is that when I'm PMSing and I get it in my head, that's it. I either eat a planned portion of it or I end up eating everything else and then eating too much of whatever I shouldn't be eating.

But yeah... crackers are the debil

Awesome job!!!  That elusive "goal weight" is a rough call.   Right now I am between 159-161.  I want to see 155, but to be honest, I dont want to kill myself to do it.  I am exercising regularly in a way I can maintain.  I eat fairly normally and I am HAPPY!!!   I would love to see a normal BMI, but not so that I have to make everyone, including me crazy to do it.

Keep up the strong work.  This healthy thing is really cool!!

Kat

Healthy is definitely the goal, ultimately. I'm just such a numbers nerd and I'm driven by seeing that ticker move. Maintenance will be interesting for me for sure :)

Candy,

Great post.

You are such an inspiration. I am so happy for you. Blessings and hugs, Sharon

You are amazing woman! Total inspiration and I am so proud of you love. Thanks for sharing your story!