Mondays weight in

 Thanks, Karine.  I am thrilled!!!

You should definitely be thrilled! You are a freaking ROCK STAR!!!

LOL. Not quite. But maybe if I can ever hit the elusive 10 min mile I will feel like one.... Or maybe once I am a frankenbarbie!!! But thanks!!!!!

HW - 446
GW - 185
TW - 320

HW: 375
LW: 184.5
TW: 184.5
GW: 175, will revise if I ever get there

(I'm 5'6" and JUST barely into the overweight BMI, yay, no more obese!)

I actually am at 187 this morning, but I don't count gains and the past two weeks I've been bouncing from 184 to 188. I'm annoyed, but it will move eventually. I'm not doing so well emotionally so, frankly, the fact that I didn't balloon up to 200 is a miracle and I'm just riding it out. I don't know if I shared last week, but the doc put me on Lexapro 5mg a couple of weeks ago. I had a breakdown and had to go for help. My follow up is in 2 more weeks and it's not really helping.

My 16 pants got looser over the last 2 weeks so everything is definitely moving around.

The skin issue is getting to be a huge one and start to affect me. I'm finding myself eating crap at night after I'm "finished" with my log, etc etc. I did really really well yesterday so I'm trying to claw my way back.

Now to find the wherewithal to go back to the gym. I just find myself complacent and not caring. Ugh. I hate feeling like this. I, literally, don't care - about much of anything.

I look in the mirror at my naked body and the complete and utter damage I've done to it over the past 30+ years and I'm just disgusted. There was 190 pounds of fat in there and it shows. I'm trying to be okay with that. Frankly, I'm just not. But part of me is detached from that too and I don't care, if it stay or if it fills back up or mysteriously disappears.

LOL.... welcome to my effed up brain.

Your brAin is not effed up

Hang in there you will get out soon of this effed up "moment" cause it will not last you are strong and have great force inside you I KNOW this!!!!!

Hugs and kisses to you

Karine

xoxo

My therapist is all "just feel it as long as you need to" and I'm all "just make it stop so I can move on with life" *laughing*

Sigh. Forward, right? I can't go back, so there's no real choice.

To my experience, embracing it lets you move forward. Just wanting to move forward doesn't make it be over!

Accept it for what it is, what it brings or will bring you!

Easier said than done though

Talk about it as much as you can, it helps putting things in perspective

Go girl

Thanks. I know... it's all part of the process. I still would rather just eat a cheeseburger and pretend it doesn't exist, but that's not an option.

Dammit.

*laughing*

I'm kidding, of course :)

TW  391

I'm gonna just jump in here.  I got my surgery date today and I'm going to  start from here when it comes to my weight  .  I have exactly 8 weeks to get my A1c down (8.1 now) which will improve my bodys ability to heal and get my Vitamin D up (at least some) from 6.6.   Also want to shrink my liver because it is enlarged.....I'm basically trying to get myself in as good of shape as I can for the surgery.  I'm having the VSG on Dec. 18. Will weigh in next Monday!!