Dating horrors of a formerly SMO lady...(not for the faint of heart)

This is more humerous than anything - ive taken it pretty well all things considering.

Ive re-joined the dating scene after being divorced for a while. Now, Im socially awkward as it is, I 'm shy, self conscious blah blah. But, add 6-8" of hanging skin from my arms, stomach and thighs **** the last thing I want to do is take my clothes off even for the doctor, let a lone a guy.

Well, I started talking to a guy online. We didnt chat much online, but started talking on the phone for a while. Went well - liked talking to him. Decided to meet him. We met up for dinner. I was nervous b/c i didnt know how to bring up the whole WL/WLS/skin issue - which for me, for my own sanity, is something I need to disclose sooner rather than later. So anyways, we got a drink with dinner, soooo have to get the ID out. Nosy ass guy looks at my pic - was like WTF. So that starts an awkward conversation about my WL - he says "just how big were you?". With a question like that I CANNOT ANSWER truthfully. So i beat around the bush. He asked me how - i said diet and exercise. Ooopps. Just wasnt prepared for this conversation quite like that.

Anyways, he tells me i'm hot, etc, ok, moving on. We had an awesome date - finished dinner, went mini golfing, and had a little frozen yogurt.

Over the course of the next month, weve been hanging out - had some great dates, had some awkward dates, but last week takes the cake for OMG stories.

After some adult indiscretions in broad day light...we were cuddling on the couch later, when all of a sudden he proclaims rather abruptly

" OMG you have hanging skin from your thighs"
"Umm yeah, youve seen my body, what did you expect?"
" I didnt think it would be on your thighs"
"well yeah - its there. I'll get it cut off in a couple weeks"

Long awkward pause - like 2 minutes. Thank god for TV.

So then I said " does it bother you?"
He says YESSS.
I asked him if the scars willl bother him (he knows about my upcoming plastic surgery)
He says no because the scars will fade aand he cant see them.
Ummm...maybe, maybe not.

This conversation just got more and more awkwrd as the night went on....I couldnt have been happier when he finally left.


I mean, to his credit, he's incredibly ******g honest and at least I know how he feels. The weird part is we are continuing to see each other - he still thinks im hot and says he's attracted to me (dont really have any reason to doubt he's telling the truth huh).

I dont think this is something with long term potential because of other reasons....it's fun for now, but AWKWARD. He's too cute for me to tell him to get lost. I just decided I was glad he was honest, but I never expected such a statement AFTER he already saw everything else haha.

Ill post more stories as time goes on, but this one still has me laughing on a daily basis.

If I had thought about cancelling my PS up to that point, I sure have no plans on cancelling now!

 Wow, haha -- you're right, at least he is honest!  So long as he's not making you feel ****ty and you're having fun, I see no reason to stop seeing him.  

Lol, I'm actually a bit worried about getting out there and dating post-wls...I've never really been in a good serious relationship that went anywhere and the idea of throwing myself out there soon is kind of scary.  I'm 26 and excess skin is already starting to show...makes me wonder, considering that most guys I've met at this age are pretty superficial and not worth my time, heh...

Anyway, thanks for sharing! Can't wait to read more =))

Thanks for sharing your honest experience Alison! Honestly you deserve someome who isn't going to be put off by these things. Dating post WLS is something I have a big fear of too. Being big I've actually dated mostly guys who liked bigger woman- I definitly sought that out because of its comfort level. I've only been in one serious relationship though so I'm nervous to see how dating after surgery will be. I'm actually very scared of it. I have serious dating issues as it it especially after my ex, so I'm scared they will get worse as I'm afraid of telling someone I've had WLS, and having them be freaked out over my body. I guess I have this hope that I'll meet someone who will fall for me regardless of skin, or being a former fat girl or any other issues and just fall for my personality and like me for me.

Its tough because as a big girl dating guys who liked bigger girls sometimes I felt like a fetish in a way so I was never totally comfortable with that- but I did it because it was better then trying to date in the average thin girl dating scene and be rejected for being fat. But I'm afraid even after I lose weight and I have issues with skin, or even just the stigma of being a former fatty I STILL won't fit into the regular girl dating pool. Mehhh I guess I'll just wait and see lol...

 It kind of sucks for me because I'm really into a lot of sports and physical activities and what not, and I'm attracted to guys in that arena - but trying to find a fitness buff who wants a chick with hanging skin hasnt worked out too well - I havent put a lot of effort into it either though because im really insecure.

Honestly - Ive struggld with my own body image because im disgusted by my skin - one thing that made me decide not to just write this guy off is my friend who told me if i have issues with it- its going to be possible that so do men. But, maybe this guy likes me enough to not go running in the other direction but clearly my body bothers him. 

I am fortunate to have the ability to get the skin removed this year - but I know that's going to come with its own set of issues. I'll never be able to just throw my clothes off without some kind of explanation. Kind of sucks but this is my life, and i made choices to put myself in this position. I do believe though that there are plently of guys who are not that superficial and will be able to look past it.

If things end with this guy, I dont know if I'll attempt any other dates before my plastic surgery, but if I do, I'll keep you entertained with stories :)

 Just going to extend the invite again.....remember, come to Texas, we'll find you a single firefighter.  All the guys that work with my husband are super supportive of me and my WLS, so it won't be new to them.

*now back to your regularly scheduled programming*

I can't speak for Alison but I'd love to come to Texas and wrangle me up a husband...ijs

Hey there =)

Ms Shell

As long as I can bring them back to Cali :)

*Nudges Ms Shell  out of the way* Well Hello there Diana my NEW friend!  Single firefighters you say? I'll put in my transfer to Johnson Space Flight Center tomorrow!

Your friend is right.  You have a problem with  the skin.  That 's the main thing. It shouldn't be shocking that someone else would too. I appreciate his honesty. I wouldn't believe anyone who said differently. They may still like, love,or  lust you, but they would prefer that the skin not be there. I would prefer the skin not be there on me or anyone else.

It is just goofy for someone to hold a person to such an extreme standard of not wanting to see or feel 5-6 inches of hanging skin.  That is right up there with people having their stomach cut off then expecting a person with a full appetite and in-tact stomach to want to eat like they had WLS.

You earned that extra skin.  Awkwardness is to be expected.  You did good.

 I think his "matter of fact " approach just tok me by surprise. And the timing but hey, it's all good lol