I don't know what the point of this post is... depressed...

Has anyone just fell into the most major depression EVER after surgery? Not just right after but I just finished my 9th month and I feel like I just don't want to do anything but sleep, cry, have no future, etc.  I have seen my life and brain backslide so much after this surgery. Granted, I fit in places I haven't ever before and I'm OH SO CUTE! but oh my holy **** I am so depressed and I'm allowing myself to be so damn self destructive. I've started smoking again, definitely drink more often than I have in years (only socially though), have gotten into a verbally and psychologically and mentally abusive relationship and make excuses to stay, have put myself in some dangerous situations, have isolated myself from friends and family, have put a stop to my educational endeavors... and so many other things. Like, what is my problem? I just feel like I give up. I thought I would be so amazing after surgery but I'm not. I know surgery doesn't fix your brain but I thought being cute would make me feel more positive about life, not worse!

Btw, I'm already on antidepressants. I'm not seeking advice really because the typical answer is to seek professional help... I'm just venting and I have no where to do it...

Sorry.

WLS solves a physical problem, not a mental, emotional or psychological one. As it solves one problem though, it can trigger others.

For the longest time, for most of my life, I thought my whole problem was...being fat. If I were thin, I'd havea  great life. Id have friends, id find the love of my life, id have my dream job, people would love me, everything would be perfect.

Shedding the weight has forced me to look at myself for who i am - and I am more than just a former fatty. I have a lot of issues that have surfaced now that I can no longer eat to suppress them, and it's very hard to deal with. I have found myself on anti-depressants for the first time in my life after surgery.

My philosophy is that WLS is so much more than eating less, and eating healthy. This is a process that should enable you to get healthy mentally and physically - and a time for you to learn to love yourself, and take care of yourself. That's why i get really irritated on the main VSG board where everyone just pushes "this is so easy, just eat 600-800 cal, 40g of carbs" and your problem is solved. It's not that easy.

You have to learn to love yourself. No one else will love you and treat with you with respect until you demand that from yourself and everyone else. The best part right now is that you realize you are being self destructive. Im not saying its easy, but you still have a fork in the road - you still have 2 paths you can chose to go down. There's an easy path which is to fall victim to your depression or the hard path which requires you to start working on some of the issues.

Ive had some absolutely wonderful moments - some great "highs' post-op. Ive had some seriously tragic lows that I dont even know where they come from. This has been an extremely emotionally draining process. I get it. I dont know if there's anything I can tell you that will make this any better or easier, but you are not alone. Just do your best to hang in, and do what's right for you.

I will always be here for you - if you ever need anything, please let me know.

((HUGS)) Make sure you find someone to talk to, but you already know that.

I've had down days too, but it sounds like you know what you need to do. Just offering up a hug. It's hard when our brains don't fully cooperate. Hang in there. xoxo

I'm only Pre-op, but intimately understand severe depression. I fear sinking into the black hole post-op. I'm thankful to have a solid medical and personal support system in place.

I hope you find your way soon. I can't fully understand yet the emotional post-op complexities, but would be happy to lend an ear.

Be well. ((hugs))

 I would say you need to change something. What that is can be very hard to figure out.
I think sleeping in for a weekend with a good cry can be good for you. After that, get outta bed and find a project to do! Help someone less fortunate than yourself, that can be the most rewarding thing of all.

Just want to give you cyber hugs, and know you are not alone! This whole process is draining. Experiencing different things that cause us to make choices and especially as we get further out. It is wearing, draining, rewarding, challenging, and choices are a lifetime thing that was before surgery and more and continuing after surgery.

You have lots of people here to talk to. You can message me any time. Venting is good, realizing what you are doing and the need for changes is a start. Never give up in your journey, it is never to late to make changes in life period.

Hugs,
Sherrie

Add me to the conga hug line. I'm pre op too but I understand depression from a professional stand point (mental health clinician) and on a personal level. I had my first severe bout of depression 9 yrs ago with 2 recurrances. I've been pretty great for the last 4 years or so. Well I was until surgery was in my sites and now I've gained 20 pounds back and I'm stuffing my panic down with any refined carb I can find. You can know exactly what is happening and why but still stand there feeling like WTF?!

I don't know the answer but I know it's a process. I hope you continue to post things that you think have "no point". I hope when I have that kind of day or Alison or Sherrie or any one of us we can post here and find some type of solace.

 GROUP HUG

I am so on page with you regarding depression and isolation. I have been there and it is not a pretty place. The only thing I can tell you is that this too shall pass.

You sound so amazing. You know you needed anit-depressants and you got them.  You know what the issue is and you are dealing with it. Baby steps become a journey. 

I dont know if you get your meds from a medical doc or therapist, but if you are not seeing a therapist I HIGHLY recommend you try it. Therapy for me was a life-saver. I am an incest survivor and have used food since I was a very small kid to hide. Individual and group therapy saved my life. Before I went to therapy I too was in a physicially abusive relationship for 7 years. I look back at those days and wonder how I made it out alive. 

You are a beautiful person and you deserve to be happy. I am so glad you felt safe enough to come here and vent. 

Alison is so right. Losing weight will not fix any of the wrongs in our lives. It fixes the outside but never the inside. But,the inside is something we can fix too.

Hugs,

Sharon

 

Vent all you want. We're here to listen. And can I just say one thing? You just took a huge step. You said it. You're being self destructive. You're cutting yourself off. You're making bad choices.

Know what that means? You have the power to chose not to do those things. Yeah it's a total ***** to do so. It really really sucks.

But you're oh so cute. Let's look deeper. You're also oh so important. You're worth doing better. You're worth pulling up your new pretty cute panties and kicking some major butt. It's okay to stop every once in awhile and cry and lament that it's all so hard. We all get it and we're right there rowing our own boats.

Bottom line. We care. I care. Vent. It's cathartic. Take your time to wallow in your misery and then tell us how you're going to get out of it.

We're all planners by nature or you would not have had so many accomplishments since your wls journey began.

(one more dog piled hug) Lots of love and support to you! Get back in touch with your friends and family.

Brenda~

LIKE!