I have to keep coming here, I need to stop the **** eating!

Yes, I am struggling. I am excersizing, although I need to more! I need to stop eating the **** that seems to be grabbing at me. I know it is wrong and yet in goes into my mouth and big guilt and very little side effects of the **** I am down on myself and yet I do good for a half a day and then.... I eat crap. I made cookies a bit over a week ago as thank you's and the excess ones have found there way inside me. I hate to admit what a crappy job of eating I have had since coming back from my honeymoon. It is humiliating. I know what I want and I know what I need to do. Excuses cannot be said, I have to grab onto my head and follow my brain and what I know I need to do! Lord help me!

I wish I had locally someone here that has gone through surgery that understands and wants to be successful! I have OH and know people in other towns, but I need someone I can call.... Or just locally that can meet occasionally. Something. Just not sure sometimes about myself. I am strong but sometimes so WEAK!

Why am I struggling so terriably! I am doing this to myself! I am causing misery and my fear of failure to run me crazy.

I need a big hug!

 Here you go!! 

Don't give up on yourself...make sure you write down everything you eat with the calories and protein...this tends to keep me honest.

Remember...you can eat what you want when you want OR you can be thinner and healthier...you can't do both!

Jackie

 Hey - I dont remember inviting you to my pity party!!! You're crashing my party!!


Haha okay, so maybeee we are just in the same boat. But, I'm still trying. Here's my bottom line - get the **** out of the house, and get it away from you. There's no need for it. Cookies need to go straight to the garbage. Same thing with any other easy snack-y kinds of food. I've stocked my fridge with little protein snacks - if im gonna eat, it's going to at least be pre-measured and small portions of protein (which lately seems to have me thinking/justifying eating several small snacks cause they are "small" but that's a whole other story). 

Im drinking tons and tons of water and powerade to deal with the compulsive eating. I love Mio and so it makes it easy because I want to drink and it's taking the place of food. I drink about 32oz of water an hour during my most stressful work hours. Im sure my dentist will kill me with the amount of sugar free gum I chew as well. But it keeps me from eating. 

My key is to stay busy. Any down time lately seems to be full of thoughts of food and eating. When Im busy, I hardly think about food/eating. Ive planned my workouts for right in the middle of my snack attack hours. 

Come on girl - you can do this. Maybe try sitting down and writing a letter/blog or something to yourself. Figure ou whats going on inside your head that might be causing you to do this...youve just been through a major life change, and had a really positive experience, so maybe this is just the crash after a high like that...i dont know. I usually have those moments. times when I should be celebrating, and should be ultra motivated, I tend to go backwards. Self sbatage at its wort i guess. 

I have been told by several independent sources that I give GREAT hugs so here you go:



I really appreciate your honesty as I've been struggling for the last 2 weeks getting back on program. While I'm very sorry for your struggles, it helps to know that EVERYONE struggles. Between you and Alison sharing I know that I'm actually "normal". lol Won't be able to say that too often!

I appreciate you and I respect you. For now I'm am sending cyber hugs to hug the stuffin' out of you.

Kristin

The problem with my eating badly is that I don't feel guilt.  I've never been that big on that particular emotion anyway.  I get mad at myself sometimes.  But mostly I'm like, "oh well, do better next time" or "damn that ____ was good". 

I think that we are in the phase where perfection- as in 100% on program- is not gonna happen 100% of the time.  Speaking for me, I need to find th balance or level of compliance that works.  If being on program 90-95% is enough to still lose weight, then I need to plan for 95% or 90% rather than plan for 100% and landing at 80%.

There should be about 21 meals and 14 snacks per week.  So that means 2 meals and one snackper week may be off track. Off track doesn't necessarily mean having the worse thing possible- but not perfect.

I feel like I'm too far out to call this a diet.  At this stage, I am trying to figure out my lifestyle. Yes, ideally, I would have been perfect until I reached goal.  But I wasn't.  And I don't seem to be able to go back there.  So, I'm trying to figure out my new lifestyle.

I don't live that far from you. We could meet up if you wanted or be workout buddies. I start back to work on Monday and should be ok to go back to the gym. I think you go to the gym that's right by my house.  I quit 24 hour fitness because it was too expensive but that gym seems to be cheaper so I could always join there. Send me a message and we can talk.

I think we all go through periods of this. It's HARD. Because we have so much further to go than many others it just seems never ending. At least that is how it is with me. And my inner child is just pitching a holy fit. She wants ice cream. She is SICK of jerky. It's not fair.... IT IS NOT FAIR!

So, what to do... get the crap out of your house. Garbage disposal. And no using the "well, that's $50 of food I'm throwing out!". You can either throw it down there or throw it down your throat. It SUCKS either way.

Also, you're in a metro area right? I would google "bariatric support group renton" or nearby cities. I bet there is one!

I am in a bariatric support that meets once per month. I was in one thT met out in Kent but they seem to not be actively meeting for now. The **** is now out, it is such a fight to not be consumed with thoughts of food. It is a struggling fight. I have some health issues that I am feeling like the worst right now, and not able to get the EXCERSIZE that I had been getting. Confused with direction in surgery that is needed. Again though, I want to allow no excuses for my choices. They have just been bad choices. I would love to meet up with you CatahoulaLover sometime soon.

Thank you for the hugs. Today I did ride from Kent to Renton. Rode a bit more through Renton and Auburn to. That felt great. Although with my female issues right now, I was very tired and not feeling great while riding. Lack of the energy I usually have, The urge to want to eat all day was a fight. I did ok. Not great but not as terriable as yesterday,

Absolutely correct that the garbage disposal wears the garbage I do not need better than I do.

struggling with thoughts of food sucks. I wi**** didn't happen.  For months, I was pre-occupied with my career change, selling a house, and packing.  Now, the thoughts of food are back.  We are still progressing. -maybe not as pretty as we would like, but we are still progressing.

 Kiss, kiss, kiss, hug, hug, hug. I am sorry you are in that bad place right now.

You have done MAGNIFICENT and you will get on the wagon again. This is a blip in the journey. A blip most of us can relate to.

You can do this. You know what you have to do get back to where you need to be. Try small steps. Start by downing more water for a couple days. Then start getting in the protein no matter what. Exercize at the time of day you know is most successful for you. Then finally give up the junk.

I have a mantra when I do not want to exercize or do the next mile, I tell myself..."you are a fit person"  "you deserve to be thin" It works for me.

I also read everyday to motivate myself.  I have to do this in order to stay on track. I have books by former fatties that i have read and hi-lighted. I go over the highlights and that helps me stay on course or get back on. If you want some recommendations, let me know.

And finally, the Lord will help you. Keep asking him. He can help us do ANYTHING.

 (group hug)

Sharon