It been one year since my Gastric -by- Pass.
It been one years since my Gastric-by- pass. I would also like to say that have been Depression free for the last two- years. Considering I spent most of my life in a dark pit of depression. My life has not changed that much. Except for losing 175 pounds.
But, It is not just the weight lose. What is more important. The way. I look at my life has changed. I not in a Black pit of Depression any more. Hating myself, Living in shame. It 4 years of depression medication and two years of therapy to get me to where I am today. I able to feel hopeful about my future ,Enjoy my life and smile. That does not mean. I still have to fight my Compulsive -overeating every day. I have watch what I eat. I still even have to fight the blues. But, Just being able to move again. Walking without having hurting. Being able to balance myself. Being able to sleep alnight in a bed without waking up. I am in no way skinny. I am still 210 pounds. Which is still really fat by normal standards. But, I when have never been normal. I was 112 pounds in the third grade. 180 pounds in the eighth grade. 230 pounds in highschool. I wonder how many people can image going into a normal store and being happy about fitting into a size 16.
I know my battle are my battles and no one elses. I watch my father and brother dying weight over 500 pounds. I spent my life so hopeless about my weight. So I know my battle with my weight will never end. But, I can live with it. Which a point serval years back death would been a relief from the Hell. When was stuck so deep in depression. It shock me go back and read some the poems I wrote. The hell I was living in.
I just any body new to the forum would ask their doctors for Treat for Compulsive overeating and Depression. Actually you should demand it. Doctor are so use to giving out pills and doing surgery. These doctor need to start giving people the real help they really need. Serious therapy for the diseases that they have. If I gotten the real help needed at a younger age. So much of my life would not have been wasted. I was at a breaking point the first. I went to visit my surgeon. I had been waiting for years to get help and to get on Medicare to help pay for surgery. That day all I remember was going home and wanting to kill myself. I was 380 pounds and He told he would not do the surgery until. I had lost eighty pounds. He did not give me a diet. I remember feeling hopeless. Like it was not possible. I had been trying to do it my whole life. Since I was a child. I spent a year and half straving myself. I lost 50 pounds. Every three months the doctor just told me to come back when I lose the eighty pounds. It took help from this forum. It gave me the courage to go to another surgeon. He did my surgery within a month. This forum is one of the best things in my life.
But, It is not just the weight lose. What is more important. The way. I look at my life has changed. I not in a Black pit of Depression any more. Hating myself, Living in shame. It 4 years of depression medication and two years of therapy to get me to where I am today. I able to feel hopeful about my future ,Enjoy my life and smile. That does not mean. I still have to fight my Compulsive -overeating every day. I have watch what I eat. I still even have to fight the blues. But, Just being able to move again. Walking without having hurting. Being able to balance myself. Being able to sleep alnight in a bed without waking up. I am in no way skinny. I am still 210 pounds. Which is still really fat by normal standards. But, I when have never been normal. I was 112 pounds in the third grade. 180 pounds in the eighth grade. 230 pounds in highschool. I wonder how many people can image going into a normal store and being happy about fitting into a size 16.
I know my battle are my battles and no one elses. I watch my father and brother dying weight over 500 pounds. I spent my life so hopeless about my weight. So I know my battle with my weight will never end. But, I can live with it. Which a point serval years back death would been a relief from the Hell. When was stuck so deep in depression. It shock me go back and read some the poems I wrote. The hell I was living in.
I just any body new to the forum would ask their doctors for Treat for Compulsive overeating and Depression. Actually you should demand it. Doctor are so use to giving out pills and doing surgery. These doctor need to start giving people the real help they really need. Serious therapy for the diseases that they have. If I gotten the real help needed at a younger age. So much of my life would not have been wasted. I was at a breaking point the first. I went to visit my surgeon. I had been waiting for years to get help and to get on Medicare to help pay for surgery. That day all I remember was going home and wanting to kill myself. I was 380 pounds and He told he would not do the surgery until. I had lost eighty pounds. He did not give me a diet. I remember feeling hopeless. Like it was not possible. I had been trying to do it my whole life. Since I was a child. I spent a year and half straving myself. I lost 50 pounds. Every three months the doctor just told me to come back when I lose the eighty pounds. It took help from this forum. It gave me the courage to go to another surgeon. He did my surgery within a month. This forum is one of the best things in my life.
I am really glad to hear you are doing well - you have done fantastic over the last year and you should be very proud. It is true that we will have to fight our eating disorders for life, but it is much easier to manage when we have HOPE. Way to go !!
www.sexyskinnybitch.wordpress.com - my journey to sexy skinny bitch status
11/16/12 - Got my Body by Sauceda - arms, Bl/BA, LBL, thigh lift.
HW 420/ SW 335 /CW 200 
85 lbs lost pre-op / 135 post op
~~~~Alison~~~~~
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