As time goes by...

Today, well it is just one of those days. I think about the time since I started my journey to a better healthier more quality life. There are so many things that have become or have happended that I am so grateful for in life. Each day reveals more and more. Today as I drove the car, the seat is moved to comfort and no issues with seat belts. I no longer have to just settle with "the way it is". I realized riding in my twin brothers vehicle I now can wear the seatbelts in the back of vehicles. When I go to walk, no more instant back ache from even. Just merely standing up. My clothes, wow... Well that is just amazing for me! So many choices, not just to settle with what covers my body that was as big as a king size sheet. If it was no Lycra or slinky material there was not a chance. Getting behind people in chairs, isles, or other place used to be a no way! Going to the bathroom next impossible with out assistance. I will end it at there.... Just every little aspect of my life has changed. It can make me cry just thinking about it....it is a HAPPY FEET cry!!

Yet, the further time goes, I still wonder can I make it to goal. I strive to not just settle with the comfort I feel now. Things are so night and day different for me. All wonderful! But I know I want more and can do so much more.

This last weekend was a lot to comfortable and I ate some things that I know I should not have eaten. I did not get sick and am in so much shock that I did not get sick. Still almost mad at the fact that I did not get sick. But it did not stop my hand and mouth. I am aware and am going to move forward and onward.

I feel like I need to go back to my basic and get myself grounded again. Today I have craved or my head has decided to crave crap. I have done good though but it is a fight today. I started my walking the thread mill since last Thursday, but due to severe cramping night before last, I was not able to walk yesterday. Not going to until tommorrow.

Ug.... Why does self doubt even have to try to pu****s way inside me?

I do positive affirmations and try my best to refocus because I know I can do this! Friday I hope to get the 16 stitches still in me ..out! My right side is still so swollen and sore. My left side is not as swollen and only hurts a bit in the pressure point areas of the incision.

Hugs out to you all! Thank you for being here, not sure what or where I would go with out O.H.! What a blessing!

Sherrie

 You are doing a phenomenal job- keep up the good work!!!! Don't let your "goal weight" make you crazy. Your body knows what it's doing. Make sure to post pics of yourself in your new cute clothes.

Oh I forgot about the seatbelt in the backseat!  I so can do those too!

Bad days and bad moods happen.  But overall, you are actively working on your goals. 

I was so stressed last week. I moved out and cleaned my house while working over time because I was getting ready for my gallbladder surgery- just to find out that the closing date is delayed due to state bureaucracy.  Meanwhile, my furniture has left the state and I am staying in a friend's house.  Yeah, I ate some doritos AND cheetos. I'm not proud, but it happened and I'm over it. I was so stressed one day that my boss had to tell me to chill out before I made myself sick before my surgery.

Sometimes being human is a hot mess, but we are still works in progress. BUT we are progressing!

 It's a natural part of this process to deal with all the self doubt. I think it's a pretty common theme even among the most objectively "successful" people. 

One reason I chose to push myself outside my comfort level is to remind myself that I am NOT ok with where I am and kick my butt back into gear. It would be easy to think "I'll never make it to goal" and give up, but then I go out into the world and see all the stuff that's Out there that I want to do. 

I decided this morning that I need to stop thinking about this "goal weight" that I'm supposed to reach. All I can do is think about one hour and one day at a time. This was how I started this process but as I get closer to "goal", the more I think about reaching it and the more I doubt myself. 

Im so proud of you, and I admire your strength and success and you make me want to keep going. This will all pass and we will win!!

I guess we all have those moments where we doubt ourselves.

I think you are doing a great job at living a healthy positive Outlook on life. Have faith you will push through it.

Christine

I can't even see the horizon where you are right now. I'm still back at the corral trying to talk my giraffe into even considering putting a saddle on. Here you are down the trail getting your groove on.

At this point I'm looking at this thing as a journey. I have a sort of destination in mind but there's a long way to go to get there so I will just enjoy the ride and occassionally there might be a side trail here and there I go down. And even when you do get to the destination it's not like you are going to sit down on a rock and say "well, that's it I'm done."  There will be other goals and things to do and explore.

You might be saddle sore today and you made a bad choice and ran into a rattle snake but you made it one more day, so take a break and watch the sunset but there's always tomorrows and all of the tomorrows afterwards.

 I am also at the beginning of the journey.  I look forward to the day when I can wear a seatbelt in the backseat or buy smaller size clothing.  I am only dreaming about it right now but you have actually done it!  I think what you have accomplished is simply amazing.  Don't doubt yourself for one minute.  You've proven you can do it already.  Yeah maybe you had a bad moment but what's important is like you said; you are aware of it.  That's what I think makes the difference.  Now forget about it and just keep moving forward. I love coming to this forum and reading posts from you because you are inspiring to me.  
Keep smiling and keep posting!