Just need to vent

I am so frustrated with my family. My husband and son are both overweight.  DH is about 300lbs and our son who is 12 is 180lbs (granted he is almost 5’9")  I am trying not to be one of those annoying people who loves exercising, but I do.  I am enjoying my life so much right now.  I love being active.  My family is still where I was 130 lbs ago.  They are tired and eat constantly.  I got my son a trainer for next month and a half and he initially loved it.  Now, though it is really tough to get him to go.  I don’t want to push him.  But I am so torn.  I don’t discuss food choices with my hubby.  He has gone along with the general changes I have made, whole wheat bread, lower fat peanut butter, things like that.  I feel like a huge hypocrite if I discuss food with either of them. I love them.  I love them heavy or light. The same way they have never judged me when I was fat.  I know I cant want happiness for other people, but I do.  And I don’t think they are unhappy, but I know how much better they will feel is they were a bit healthier.  I know this enthusiasm for life is a part of the honeymoon period, but I want to share it with them.  Its just so weird.  I never would have thought I would feel like the displaced person..  Does any of this make sense?   I really do realize this is my problem and not theirs.  I just needed a safe place to vent.

This is exactly how I feel about my mother in law.  I just think her quality of life could be SO Much better but she just will not even talk to us about the surgery.  I think the surgery wakes us up to that life can be so much better.  Yes we were happy before surgery, but once your eyes have been opened to the possibility of this new healthier life, you just want to share it!

Kam,
CONGRADULATIONS on your weightloss! Great to read you and your husband going through this journey together!

Hugs,
Sherrie

It took me over 2 years to rethink and commit to having a surgery.  I'm going to let the relative I'm worried about take her time.  No one was pressuring me during that 2 years.

So she and I have discussed it, and I won't bring it up again. I support her choice to do weigh****chers and exercise. I pray for her health. That's it. I pray and let it go.

Your frustration is natural. Can you use your son's trainer when he misses or have them moved to when you can use them?  Lead by example is the best you can do for your son. Can you have one talk with your husband and let him know that you will not bring it up again? Let him know that you are concerned for his and your son's health and that you know that he has to find his own commitment and method.

Kat,
It does make sense. You are in a great place in your journey. You love them and care for them. I feel you in this. Example is showing love and hang on to hope. People do often times mimic when they continue to see good. Keep doing your thing. Continue to "plant seeds". They may join you.
I know right now I am facing guilt in myself as my 18 year old is 6 ft plus and over 450 lbs. I do know that my lack of example was terrible. I love him and want him to not have to have life hindered by his weight. I know I can encourage good habits. Express my love for him. Be there for him. He is living in his apt. I know he is no where mentally ready for a WLS.
I beleive people need to take things in their time. I know that I went through my own roller coaster of getting the point of my WLS. I still lived life and did not close myself from the world.... My size was closing me in and down. I hope my son does not have to have that happen because I love him. Guilt is crazy though... Motherly guilt.

Hang in there Kat! Just keep planting those seeds!! Keep showing and giving love. Slow changes!!


Hugs
Sherrie

 Thanks guys.  I really appreciate being able to vent in a safe place!!  I will keep plugging along and trying to set a good example.  That is one thing the hubs understands it that I am working hard for these changes and surgery does not make things easy.  Thanks again!!!

Kat