finding it so hard not to cry

ok so i live with my husband and mother in law and they both eat junk all the stuff i ate before i had surgery my main weakness is Soda which i havent had any since after surgery but they both drink them and it makes me sad like im morning the soda i know that probably sounds stupid and also me and my husband went to town tonight and i just passed by the candy isle and couldnt even look down that isle please tell me this gets better over time i sure hope it does im having to avoid half of the store cause of all the stuff i cant have anymore please help i just want to break into tears 

Hi Sarah. You had surgery on the 13th and today's the 22nd so you're right on track for emotional storms. I know how you feel. Seems like so many of our holidays are built around candy and the grocery feels like a swamp full of hungry gators.

But, as you keep passing on that crap, your willpower muscle gets stronger. You build momentum, and you want to protect it, so you make good choices, which fuels your momentum ... It's a cycle.

I do plenty of dumb **** Sunday a friend had people in and she had this giant bowl of homemade caramel corn and I practically dove in head first! That was a bad choice. But it's over. I'm taking the stairs at work and cranking up at the gym. We live and learn. Hang in there. BTW I have an occasional diet Pepsi now and it doesn't taste very good.

Know that as you are losing weight, you are breaking down fat cells, and they contain hormones that can make you emotional.

So yes, it will be get better, you just gotta stay strong.

It's perfectly fine to mourn the loss of your comfort foods, the key is then find your new coping mechanisms. Talking about things often helps, writing them in a journal, going for a walk and talking to yourself. Whatever it is you need to find a new way to deal with your feelings other than food.

It's not a process that happens overnight, and you might slip up and make a mistake, but the great thing is that even if you do- in a few hours it will be time for another meal and you can get right back on track and make great choices.

Stay Strong!
:Danni

Its very hard to give up those things, and there will be plenty of tears shed along the way.

Make a list of the reasons WHY you did this. The reasons why you needed to do this.


I can tell you now - almost 200 lbs later - that not being able to reach for the pizza, soda, and candy makes being able to shop in smaller stores, and sit in booths, and tie my shoes all worth the pain and suffering in giving up those things.

I'm at a point now where its easier, but nothing about it is easy. I am starting to crave those things again, and my will power fluctuates, but at the end of each day, when I have to make those decisions, I am ultimatley deciding what I want more - temporary satisfaction from food or long lasting satisfaction from being able to enjoy my life and be freed from morbid obesity.

You can do this. Feelf ree to cry and vent, but just keep focused.

First, have you spoken with the husband & MIL?  Maybe if they heard how hard this is for you, they may not be so free with drinking soda around you.  If they balk at it, then you may have to just realize they aren't ready to be onboard with you - yet.  I say yet, as if they aren't ready to support everything you need, they may in time.

Giving up carbonated water was something I had to deal with.  I wasn't a soda in the sense of Coke or Pepsi, I just loved carbonated soda water.  Before I got surgery I wondered if I would miss it.  I can tell you that after a year, I really don't miss it.  I will admit to having a taste or a sip of Coke from my daughters can, but that is so rare I don't count it against me.

When they are gulping down the soda, could you maybe enjoy some ice tea - Crystal Light - or similar drink?  You can be social while staying on your new path ;)  I enjoy coffee when I am out with my friends - usually decaf, but I am happy  to be socializing with company.  They may load up on cream & sugar, I guess it just doesn't bother me anymore, because I have a new lifestyle.

Give it some time.  Cry if you have to - you may need to get the emotions out!  Talk with your family, the worst thing they will say is "no".  Above all - be proud of YOU for making these changes!!!

Brenda : )~

Sarah,

It will get better.  I remember crying and mourning over the very same thing.  I am not even 3 months out and I have been able to almost completely overcome those feelings.  I have my moment's but overall, I am doing well and with a little more time you will too.  As you become physically stronger and adjusted, you will be able to deal with it.  I wish there was some way that your hubs and mo-in-law could be more discreet about it though.  Could you talk to him and her about it?  Bless you girly.  You will come through this and as you start to loose the weight and feel stronger it will get easier for you in alot of ways.  Keep your chin up.

I know the feeling all to well. What I do when I go to the grocery store is shop on the outside. Everything that you should be eating on the outside of the store. Just remember candy is just candy. And from experience the weight loss from this surgery tastes better than any candy i've ever had!

It's OK to cry-----hormones are raging. Even if they aren't, we're entitled to a good sob every once in awhile.

Good advise about the grocery. Work the outside aisle and only go with a list!!! It helps and it will get easier but I still dwell in places I shouldn't be sometimes. It's OK to look---just no touch right now. You'll be able to have some of your old stuff in the future.....if you still want it. But your life will change so much for the better that you might not even have the desire.

Not going to say much about the family---I've expressed that sentiment more than once. I have no kind words or patience  for, particularly family, that won't take the extra steps to make your journey easier. The least they could do is pour that soda in a coffee mug or the like. Have yummy SF hot tea or hot chocolate (if you can) and enjoy.

Hang tough. It gets better.

I haven't had surgery yet - haven't even had a consult with a surgeon yet, but honestly, I want to come over there and smack your husband and MIL. Insensitive jerkwads.

I hope you can work up the courage to ask them to behave with a bit more discretion around you - did you have their support going into this?  If so, remind them that their support involves more than driving you to the damn hospital.  When it comes to families, WLS is something that affects everyone...and I suspect families can do a damn fine job of sabotaging your efforts.

Just remember, everytime you pass by that candy aisle, you're not mourning the loss of candy, you're celebrating everything you'll gain by not eating those empty calories...being able to play with your beautiful niece, maybe having kids of your own, being healthy and physically strong...