Mind games with myself (x-posted)
Wow you guys. So to celebrate my weight loss, my work gave me a card signed by a lot of people and $150 gift card to go clothes shopping (people donated, the company didn't pay for it).
The card was full of "you are such an inspiriation" and "you are amazing" notes. I'm overwhelmed by this. First of all, I'm SO lucky to not run into negativity regarding my choice to have surgery. But what is most overwhelming is that I still am the 460lb fat girl in my head. Me, inspirational? That can't be possible. Me, attractive? That definitely isn't possible.
Anyone else run into weird mind games of your own making after losing a lot of weight? I know it's fairly common to have an adjustment period when you go down so much. I just wasn't prepared for HOW DIFFERENT I would feel. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy, but I have to admit I'm not quite comfortable with all the praise. I'm just not used to it.
I knew y'all would understand.
The card was full of "you are such an inspiriation" and "you are amazing" notes. I'm overwhelmed by this. First of all, I'm SO lucky to not run into negativity regarding my choice to have surgery. But what is most overwhelming is that I still am the 460lb fat girl in my head. Me, inspirational? That can't be possible. Me, attractive? That definitely isn't possible.
Anyone else run into weird mind games of your own making after losing a lot of weight? I know it's fairly common to have an adjustment period when you go down so much. I just wasn't prepared for HOW DIFFERENT I would feel. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy, but I have to admit I'm not quite comfortable with all the praise. I'm just not used to it.
I knew y'all would understand.
I definitely understand. Most days I don't feel or see myself as any different than I was at 420 lbs. it's amazing to think its even possible to feel like this since I've lost a whole person but it happens.
When ppl call me "small", "tiny" and "skinny" - I automatically think they are just being nice. I can't believe ppl actually see me as a normal person rather than a SMO blob.
What awesome cO workers you have :)
When ppl call me "small", "tiny" and "skinny" - I automatically think they are just being nice. I can't believe ppl actually see me as a normal person rather than a SMO blob.
What awesome cO workers you have :)
www.sexyskinnybitch.wordpress.com - my journey to sexy skinny bitch status
11/16/12 - Got my Body by Sauceda - arms, Bl/BA, LBL, thigh lift.
HW 420/ SW 335 /CW 200 
85 lbs lost pre-op / 135 post op
~~~~Alison~~~~~
Wow your co-workers rock!
Yes, it's totally normal, typical, whatever. However, there are some folks who are instantly happy and adjusted with themselves, for most of us- it takes years to get wrap our minds around our new bodies. I still look at shirts and think "oh that's too small for me" and of course it fits!
Even my wife has commented, she can't believe that I have fat days- she thinks I look fantastic everyday! Course, she is a little bit biased ;)
I have good days when I feel fit and fantastic, and I have other days where I feel like I'm right back up at my highest, I just hope for more good days than bad. We'll get there.
Good job so far- keep up the great work!
:Danni
Yes, it's totally normal, typical, whatever. However, there are some folks who are instantly happy and adjusted with themselves, for most of us- it takes years to get wrap our minds around our new bodies. I still look at shirts and think "oh that's too small for me" and of course it fits!
Even my wife has commented, she can't believe that I have fat days- she thinks I look fantastic everyday! Course, she is a little bit biased ;)
I have good days when I feel fit and fantastic, and I have other days where I feel like I'm right back up at my highest, I just hope for more good days than bad. We'll get there.
Good job so far- keep up the great work!
:Danni
:Danni >>>AIDS/LifeCycle 10 & 11 Finisher: 545miles on the bike in 7 days <<<
HW390/SW340/CW 208/GW170
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