Recovering Compulsive Overeater. Who needs Help. Starting to have craving again.
Hi, I am Doris. I am a recovering Compulsive overeater. I need your help. I not sure why. But, I am really starting to have cravings again. It been 11 months since my surgery. I not had to worry. So much about my Food addiction and Recovery since my surgery.
When I first had my surgery. I really had to force myself just to eat. At times, I would just forget to eat. Because, I was just not hungry any more. That coming from compulsive overeater. It seemed like a mircle.
Losing weight came easy. But the last two monthes. I have really been tested again. Because, I been craving everything. I know, I am still just a recovering compulsive overeater and food addict and Will be one for the rest of my life.
I have really had to force myself to stay away from the refridgerator and out of the kitchen for the last two weeks. When I start having cravings. I been trying to do something to get my mind off of eating. I made appoint to not giving in this week or ever again. I make it a point getting on my exercise bike. Every time. I think about eating something. I been on my bike so much. that I am sore. I have lost 5 pounds in a week.
Last week, I made a point measure out my food. Because, My stomach is start to hold more food and Have been able to eat more. Great suggestion made to me by people on these broads.
Really really have helped me. Measuring out my food using small cups.
I am really proud of myself this week. So Have made a point measuring what I eat this week and no cheating. So I am getting back on track.
But, I need help. I really hate going to OA meeting. Since live in a small town. There,s nothing anonamious about those meeting in a small town of two thousand people and nearly seventy mile to the next town with a meeting and Gas prices are just crazy.
So you people are My Recovering Food Addicts and Compulsive Overeaters Club. I need to have your support. I need more than just your prayers. I need idea,s and story,s to help me with my recovery.
Compulsive overeating is such a serious disease. It not only shortens your life. I have lose family member to this disease. My father who died at 50 weighing 450 pounds. Died in his sleep. after years of suffering from diabetes and having to lose a leg. I spent most of my young life taking care of him. He never was a able to control his eating. I also lost my brother to the same disease. He was a total Food Addict, Food Lover, Compulsive overeater and new it. He watched my father died young.
My brother was still unable to control his eating. He died at 600 pounds at 38 years of congestive heart failure. Do to his weight, After years of suffering and trying lose weight. He even had Gastric - by- pass. He just regained. I know in my heart. I did every thing in my power to save him from this disease. I blamed myself for years. Ever after spent years of my life taking care of him. But, I had to learn that Everybody journey is their own. You can't live your life for another person.
I have made a choice. I refuse to be like them and refused to let my life be destoried by my weight. . I know and refuse to be like them. I know can't beat this disease. Being a compulsive overeater. I can learn to control their disease and refuse to let this disease destory my life. Any more than it already has. I have scars. I am 42 years old and I am just starting my new life. I have lose 155 pounds. I am at 235 pounds smaller been in years. I feel better than I have in years. I still have more to lose. But, I have made CHOICE that . I will not waste another minute of my life.
Who know if I will ever be consider a normal weight. I never been a normal weight ever as a child and teenager.
I have spent the last 40 years of my life waiting to get thin. Not doing much of anything and not making friends and that changes today. You have to take responibility for life. Your life is the only one you can control.
So tell me your story. Have you lost anybody in your life died do to compulsive overeating or the problems that go with it.
When I first had my surgery. I really had to force myself just to eat. At times, I would just forget to eat. Because, I was just not hungry any more. That coming from compulsive overeater. It seemed like a mircle.
Losing weight came easy. But the last two monthes. I have really been tested again. Because, I been craving everything. I know, I am still just a recovering compulsive overeater and food addict and Will be one for the rest of my life.
I have really had to force myself to stay away from the refridgerator and out of the kitchen for the last two weeks. When I start having cravings. I been trying to do something to get my mind off of eating. I made appoint to not giving in this week or ever again. I make it a point getting on my exercise bike. Every time. I think about eating something. I been on my bike so much. that I am sore. I have lost 5 pounds in a week.
Last week, I made a point measure out my food. Because, My stomach is start to hold more food and Have been able to eat more. Great suggestion made to me by people on these broads.
Really really have helped me. Measuring out my food using small cups.
I am really proud of myself this week. So Have made a point measuring what I eat this week and no cheating. So I am getting back on track.
But, I need help. I really hate going to OA meeting. Since live in a small town. There,s nothing anonamious about those meeting in a small town of two thousand people and nearly seventy mile to the next town with a meeting and Gas prices are just crazy.
So you people are My Recovering Food Addicts and Compulsive Overeaters Club. I need to have your support. I need more than just your prayers. I need idea,s and story,s to help me with my recovery.
Compulsive overeating is such a serious disease. It not only shortens your life. I have lose family member to this disease. My father who died at 50 weighing 450 pounds. Died in his sleep. after years of suffering from diabetes and having to lose a leg. I spent most of my young life taking care of him. He never was a able to control his eating. I also lost my brother to the same disease. He was a total Food Addict, Food Lover, Compulsive overeater and new it. He watched my father died young.
My brother was still unable to control his eating. He died at 600 pounds at 38 years of congestive heart failure. Do to his weight, After years of suffering and trying lose weight. He even had Gastric - by- pass. He just regained. I know in my heart. I did every thing in my power to save him from this disease. I blamed myself for years. Ever after spent years of my life taking care of him. But, I had to learn that Everybody journey is their own. You can't live your life for another person.
I have made a choice. I refuse to be like them and refused to let my life be destoried by my weight. . I know and refuse to be like them. I know can't beat this disease. Being a compulsive overeater. I can learn to control their disease and refuse to let this disease destory my life. Any more than it already has. I have scars. I am 42 years old and I am just starting my new life. I have lose 155 pounds. I am at 235 pounds smaller been in years. I feel better than I have in years. I still have more to lose. But, I have made CHOICE that . I will not waste another minute of my life.
Who know if I will ever be consider a normal weight. I never been a normal weight ever as a child and teenager.
I have spent the last 40 years of my life waiting to get thin. Not doing much of anything and not making friends and that changes today. You have to take responibility for life. Your life is the only one you can control.
So tell me your story. Have you lost anybody in your life died do to compulsive overeating or the problems that go with it.
Hi Doris!!
I am a compulsive over-eater too. You are farther out than I am, and I congratulate you for doing as well as you have. 155 pounds lost is nothing short of AMAZING! I don't know that I will ever be able to say that!! I believe you are right - it is a lifelong struggle. After all, I spent a large portion of my life hiding and turning to food for comfort, reward, consolation, and just about any other emotion that could come up. I will be 36 this year (YAY!!) I also was a protector and caretaker, frequently coming to the rescue of family members and friends for any crisis - big or small - that would come up in their lives. I was also dealing with effects from childhood abuse. Food was how I medicated myself. Most of the women in my family were also caretakers, and food abusers. My habits were learned, perhaps partially genetic, and literally had a death grip on me. I lost my paternal grandfather to complications from obesity. My maternal grandmother is suffering from the effects of obesity/overeating, though she has lost over 100 pounds in the last 10 years. I have lost my mother and father in law and two aunts to complications from obesity. My mother and godmother both suffer from back and knee problems from obesity/overeating, which just makes it worse. I saw all of these things happening around me, but the light didn't really come on until they started to happen TO me. I had no comorbidities, but noticed my back and knees starting becoming more painful with all of the weight. This went on for a long while. All I knew was that things had to change, and I was willing to try, again and again...and again. I had to systematically, methodically, and repeatedly learn how to think differently, eat differently, and behave differently. It was years and years of trying different things, keeping certain things that worked, ditching what didn't, going back to ground zero to start again with something else...etc. It was nerve wrecking, tiresome, heart breaking , soul wrenching stuff.
Other things came with time and practice - for example I have drastically limited my availability for certain situations with friends and family that I would have immediately taken a plane, train or car for before. All these things were great, positive, hard, and beneficial, and still I had minimal control, if any, over my eating. I lusted after food. With all of the other changes that were happening, it was the last on my list, and I dreaded having to deal with that "last" diabolical monster. Then there were the years of yo-yo dieting, exercising, and the pain and process of learning how to do those things, and the disappointment when they did not produce the permanent results that I sought. I learned a lot about myself, and I know that the learning is no where near done, but major changes were happening that i didn't recognize at the time. I decided, after trying almost everything else, that I simply could not help me. I decided to seek the help of wls. After the surgery, it was as if the things that I had learned and experienced, along with my tool, really started to have the most powerful impact on my body, over any other protocol that I'd ever done.
I am almost 8 months post op, and I have noticed cravings/head hunger returning. I have to acknowledge them. They are directly related to the situations, stress, and changes in my life. I have 'given in' on numerous occasions - I am not going to beat myself up, or guilt trip, or promise myself 'tomorrow I'll be better' - it is exactly what it is. I will have whatever it is, then go back to my regularly scheduled program. It doesn't happen everyday and the desire isn't anywhere near the levels that they once were, but they are there. I consciously recognize them for what they are, and that helps. A marvelous discovery too during this whole process is that my cravings require different things at different times - its not always a food thing. That in and of itself is mind-blowing for me. Sometimes I am craving beef, sometimes it is solitude, sometimes its actually exercise, a cup of tea, a bag of chips, sex......it varies. It still amazes me. I really have no words for how it makes me feel. But if I had not had the wls, I don't think I would have been able to recognize the variety of things that my body calls out for. I can only deduce that having these long periods of denying myself food as a comfort made other things more recognizable. I would have answered every single call with food, because I was too embarrassed to go for a walk, or to go to a gym, or to try to seduce my partner, or be anywhere that would draw the wrong kind of attention.
Some things have changed and some things stay the same. I am the caretaker for my immediate family, still make mistakes in living and eating, but the most powerful changes have been in my mind, heart, and stomach, and not necessarily in that order, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that they are the lasting kind.
I am a compulsive over-eater too. You are farther out than I am, and I congratulate you for doing as well as you have. 155 pounds lost is nothing short of AMAZING! I don't know that I will ever be able to say that!! I believe you are right - it is a lifelong struggle. After all, I spent a large portion of my life hiding and turning to food for comfort, reward, consolation, and just about any other emotion that could come up. I will be 36 this year (YAY!!) I also was a protector and caretaker, frequently coming to the rescue of family members and friends for any crisis - big or small - that would come up in their lives. I was also dealing with effects from childhood abuse. Food was how I medicated myself. Most of the women in my family were also caretakers, and food abusers. My habits were learned, perhaps partially genetic, and literally had a death grip on me. I lost my paternal grandfather to complications from obesity. My maternal grandmother is suffering from the effects of obesity/overeating, though she has lost over 100 pounds in the last 10 years. I have lost my mother and father in law and two aunts to complications from obesity. My mother and godmother both suffer from back and knee problems from obesity/overeating, which just makes it worse. I saw all of these things happening around me, but the light didn't really come on until they started to happen TO me. I had no comorbidities, but noticed my back and knees starting becoming more painful with all of the weight. This went on for a long while. All I knew was that things had to change, and I was willing to try, again and again...and again. I had to systematically, methodically, and repeatedly learn how to think differently, eat differently, and behave differently. It was years and years of trying different things, keeping certain things that worked, ditching what didn't, going back to ground zero to start again with something else...etc. It was nerve wrecking, tiresome, heart breaking , soul wrenching stuff.
Other things came with time and practice - for example I have drastically limited my availability for certain situations with friends and family that I would have immediately taken a plane, train or car for before. All these things were great, positive, hard, and beneficial, and still I had minimal control, if any, over my eating. I lusted after food. With all of the other changes that were happening, it was the last on my list, and I dreaded having to deal with that "last" diabolical monster. Then there were the years of yo-yo dieting, exercising, and the pain and process of learning how to do those things, and the disappointment when they did not produce the permanent results that I sought. I learned a lot about myself, and I know that the learning is no where near done, but major changes were happening that i didn't recognize at the time. I decided, after trying almost everything else, that I simply could not help me. I decided to seek the help of wls. After the surgery, it was as if the things that I had learned and experienced, along with my tool, really started to have the most powerful impact on my body, over any other protocol that I'd ever done.
I am almost 8 months post op, and I have noticed cravings/head hunger returning. I have to acknowledge them. They are directly related to the situations, stress, and changes in my life. I have 'given in' on numerous occasions - I am not going to beat myself up, or guilt trip, or promise myself 'tomorrow I'll be better' - it is exactly what it is. I will have whatever it is, then go back to my regularly scheduled program. It doesn't happen everyday and the desire isn't anywhere near the levels that they once were, but they are there. I consciously recognize them for what they are, and that helps. A marvelous discovery too during this whole process is that my cravings require different things at different times - its not always a food thing. That in and of itself is mind-blowing for me. Sometimes I am craving beef, sometimes it is solitude, sometimes its actually exercise, a cup of tea, a bag of chips, sex......it varies. It still amazes me. I really have no words for how it makes me feel. But if I had not had the wls, I don't think I would have been able to recognize the variety of things that my body calls out for. I can only deduce that having these long periods of denying myself food as a comfort made other things more recognizable. I would have answered every single call with food, because I was too embarrassed to go for a walk, or to go to a gym, or to try to seduce my partner, or be anywhere that would draw the wrong kind of attention.
Some things have changed and some things stay the same. I am the caretaker for my immediate family, still make mistakes in living and eating, but the most powerful changes have been in my mind, heart, and stomach, and not necessarily in that order, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that they are the lasting kind.
HW: 351 SW: 344.5 5'10" 
I spent years blaming and hating myself for being fat. Being fat was not something I ever wanted. I can,t even image a time in my life even as a child that I was not over -weight. My self hatred was so bad that I even started to hate God.I was so angry, That I could not feel Gods love. I totally lost my faith. Because, I was always taught to believe that God did not make mistakes that every happens on this earth happens for a reason. So,I blamed and hated God for all the hell that was in my life. I blamed God for the abuse, hatred and cruelty that was sent my way do to my weight. I don't know how many times in my life. That I would lose 80 pounds or 120 pounds. Then I would balloon up again and actually end up heavier than when I began by 50 or 60 pounds. No matter how much I pray things just never got better.
I was in such a state of depression. That I did not think I could be saved. I was just living in a state of darkness. It took years to learn and lots of reading. I learned is a name that kind of Depression. It is called "Dark Night of the Soul".
It took a long time to understand about generational curses. That more than genes are passed throught the generations. Addictions,Depression, Diseases. But, Ilearned Selfishness is one of the biggest traits and curses passed down. It took a while to finally get it. But, I spent half of my life crying about being fat. Even wanted to kill myself because of it. I always thought. If I were not fat my life would be perfect. One day. I was watching T.B.N. and Feed the Children came on. I learned needed to start praying for different things. God had not given up on me. I had given up on him. I need to stop being selfish. A sense of Shame came over me. I have never really gone without anything in my life. Even though we were very poor. I always praying for the things I wanted. I learned start praying for others and thinking about how I could help others. Start putting God and others first in my life and not myself. That was big changing point in my life.
I was in such a state of depression. That I did not think I could be saved. I was just living in a state of darkness. It took years to learn and lots of reading. I learned is a name that kind of Depression. It is called "Dark Night of the Soul".
It took a long time to understand about generational curses. That more than genes are passed throught the generations. Addictions,Depression, Diseases. But, Ilearned Selfishness is one of the biggest traits and curses passed down. It took a while to finally get it. But, I spent half of my life crying about being fat. Even wanted to kill myself because of it. I always thought. If I were not fat my life would be perfect. One day. I was watching T.B.N. and Feed the Children came on. I learned needed to start praying for different things. God had not given up on me. I had given up on him. I need to stop being selfish. A sense of Shame came over me. I have never really gone without anything in my life. Even though we were very poor. I always praying for the things I wanted. I learned start praying for others and thinking about how I could help others. Start putting God and others first in my life and not myself. That was big changing point in my life.
I am definitely a compulsive, emotional over eater - and in the last couple weeks, I can sense the return of that giant struggle. Over the last 18 months, I've kept my over eating down by constantly remaining vigilant about my emotional state, and limiting my access to things that can hurt me, But it does get tiring to always have to be thinking about it and trying to correct my urge to eat.
What i've learned - just like anyone with diabetes or other medical conditions, this compulsive eating disorder is going to require a life long treatment plan, with constant attention and work. There is no easy way out and I'm having to come to terms with that.
So, because I can't really change my head right now, I have to change my environment. I have set a few red lines for myself in my hopes of beating my obesity. It's more of a behavior oriented approach, but I will always track my food, no matter what goes into my mouth. This has been the number one key to helping me because I always enter my food BEFORE i eat it - if I enter it and see that it is all carbs, all fat, or just generally unhealthy or too many calories, a lot of time, I will put it back and realize i dont need it or make a better choice. And then there are certain things I know I cannot touch because it will trigger a binge - pizza, fast food, chocolate, brownies (i dont know what it was about these lol) and ice cream (and alcohol). Some people dont believe in total deprivation of particular food groups, but I have drawn my red line at those things because they are my traditional binge goods - i used to put away an entire large pizza by myself at 420 lbs, bags and bags of chocolate, and ice cream. I do however have alternatives I use so that I dont feel deprived - i make little "pizzas" on low carb tortillas or sandwich thins - a little cheese and pizza sauce without all the fat and carbs. I can control my portions which is the biggest key. I eat chocolate protein bars but will hopefully not eat a candy bar anytime in my near future and sugar free popsicles or protein popsicles instead of normal desserts.
I also do not keep things in my house that could hurt me if I do feel the need to eat unnecessarily - I dont keep chips, cookies, crap like that in the house. Ever. If I do eat them, they are out and usually for a special occassion. I'm always clear minded and motivated before I go grocery shopping so there's no temptation to grab that stuff. If it's not there, I can't eat it. If I want to snack, im going to have to cook or eat some fruit, and well, so be it.
Ive had a few slip ups since surgery, but following my red line approach, I'm no where close to where I used to be. And honestly, when my will power fails me, my sleeve is usually there to say STOP now.
This might not work for everyone, but it is working for me for now.
What i've learned - just like anyone with diabetes or other medical conditions, this compulsive eating disorder is going to require a life long treatment plan, with constant attention and work. There is no easy way out and I'm having to come to terms with that.
So, because I can't really change my head right now, I have to change my environment. I have set a few red lines for myself in my hopes of beating my obesity. It's more of a behavior oriented approach, but I will always track my food, no matter what goes into my mouth. This has been the number one key to helping me because I always enter my food BEFORE i eat it - if I enter it and see that it is all carbs, all fat, or just generally unhealthy or too many calories, a lot of time, I will put it back and realize i dont need it or make a better choice. And then there are certain things I know I cannot touch because it will trigger a binge - pizza, fast food, chocolate, brownies (i dont know what it was about these lol) and ice cream (and alcohol). Some people dont believe in total deprivation of particular food groups, but I have drawn my red line at those things because they are my traditional binge goods - i used to put away an entire large pizza by myself at 420 lbs, bags and bags of chocolate, and ice cream. I do however have alternatives I use so that I dont feel deprived - i make little "pizzas" on low carb tortillas or sandwich thins - a little cheese and pizza sauce without all the fat and carbs. I can control my portions which is the biggest key. I eat chocolate protein bars but will hopefully not eat a candy bar anytime in my near future and sugar free popsicles or protein popsicles instead of normal desserts.
I also do not keep things in my house that could hurt me if I do feel the need to eat unnecessarily - I dont keep chips, cookies, crap like that in the house. Ever. If I do eat them, they are out and usually for a special occassion. I'm always clear minded and motivated before I go grocery shopping so there's no temptation to grab that stuff. If it's not there, I can't eat it. If I want to snack, im going to have to cook or eat some fruit, and well, so be it.
Ive had a few slip ups since surgery, but following my red line approach, I'm no where close to where I used to be. And honestly, when my will power fails me, my sleeve is usually there to say STOP now.
This might not work for everyone, but it is working for me for now.
www.sexyskinnybitch.wordpress.com - my journey to sexy skinny bitch status
11/16/12 - Got my Body by Sauceda - arms, Bl/BA, LBL, thigh lift.
HW 420/ SW 335 /CW 200 
85 lbs lost pre-op / 135 post op
~~~~Alison~~~~~
I just learned as a compulsive overeater and food addict. Surgery or not. I learned their are just things. I can't bring in my house, If I do. I will eat them. I just can,t stop yourself no-matter how hard you try. Nothing I can do will stop me. I learned that is just who , I am as a person. I have an addictive personality.
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