Please share your tips for staying motivated and positive.

Hi everyone... My BMI is 66 and I'm struggling with hopelessness. I'm single and live far away from family and friends due to work. I don't really have any consistent local support. I'm trying to journal and read supportive literature, but I still feel very isolated and reclusive. So I thought I'd throw it out there to see how others were successful in staying positive and motivated. Please share... Thank you!

 Hi! I am fairly new here.  I CAN tell you that it is NOT hopeless!!! I felt like that also....My BMI is 69 (started at 75.5) I am hoping for a surgery date next month.  ( I am in the process of completing a pre-op diet.)

 I am sorry that you feel so isolated, and I think you came to the right place.  There are some great people on here and loads of information and inspiration.  Have you checked out your surgeon's and/or local support groups? That may also be a source of support you may want to investigate. I think that keeping a journal or a blog is a great idea too.

I wish I had more experience and wisdom to offer you, but like I said, I am new...The best I can offer you right now is a kind ear and moral support ...
 ok..and a hug too!

I don't know if your pre or post op or what surgery you are having/had, but I do know that your surgerons office has support groups every month that you can attend.

One of the markers that all successful post-ops have is support. I personally go to multiple support groups a month and I'm on this site at least once a day. Read, ask questions, and share...it will help. You can do this!

Good Luck
:Danni

Hi,

I understand and sympathize. I had a BMI of 64 before my surgery.

I would like to offer two practical suggestions.

1) step outside as much a possible if the weather allows. I don't neccessaraly mean where a lot of people are, it could be just your back yard. Being inside contributes to a feeling of isolation because of the walls.
2) I assume you have a cell phone with unlimited minutes. While outside, go through your contact list and start calling family and friends. If one person is too busy to talk, call the next person. But whatever you do, keep conected until you expand your group of friends in your area.

PS. I don't know where you are located, but there are forums for individual states on this site. Maybe you could go on that forum and find a "Bari-Buddy" in your area.

You are not alone, even if there is no one physicaly nearby.

Hi Elysium,

I found some inspiration when I look through the before and after pictures of people, I also found great advice and support from the newbies and Veterans on this site.. It is full of people from all walks of life, all different shapes and sizes, as well as people in various stages of Pre and Post weight loss. 
Something I did was write a Weight-loss Bucket List... I know it sounds corny, but it actually really really helped me. I put things on there from all areas of my life that I haven't been able to do, but WILL do once I have succeeded.. I also made a WLS Pros's list and I listed 20 reasons why I should/want/need the surgery I chose.

I hope this helps some... Feel free to message me anytime
Cheryl

I started with a BMI around 60. I'm now around 41 or so. It's been a long process for me. I started looking into surgery over a year ago, and I had to wait about 9 mo or so to get it. It is definitely hard to stay motivated, especially with our BMIs. I always had to deal with the never ending of thoughts of "who cares if I lose weight, it wont make a difference' and "i'll never be a normal weight" and "im going to look worse if I am ever a normal weight". I delt with a lot of self defeating thoughts. 

I also live alone and away from all my family. Fortunutely I work so I do have some friends/co workers but I know it's hard.

I stay motivated my setting goals for myself - start small- "today I will eat XX cal and XX of protein" or " I will drink 64 oz of water". I found exercise as my main motivation. When I started at 420 lbs, it probably wasn't called exercise but more like a fish out of water :-p  I could barely walk (on the days I could even get my shoes my on bc my feet were too swollen) and I had to start by walking 5-10 min at a time, very very slow. But every week, I felt the increases in my strenght, I could walk a little longer, and a little faser. Seeing the improvements both on the scale and in my body's ability kept me going.  I got to the point within 9 months of going slow that I walked a 5K before surgery. I have to focus on the little things bc I have so much to lose I can't think about it. If I stopped and thought about the fact that I had to lose 240+ lbs, I'd just give up. It seems impossible. But, I can lose 5 lbs. I can drink my water. I can control my food intake, my exercise, and my attitude.

I focus a lot on what I want to accomplish - the sports I want to play, the places I want to go, the clothes I want to wear. I think about those things on a daily basis because otherwise it would be easy to give up. You have to find your reason to live, your reason to do this. DO NOT focus on the end result - focus on things you can control,and dont be afraid to celebrate your results, and accomplishments as you go along - no matter how small they may seem. Set non food related rewards for yourself.

Elysium,

I watched my mother die, actually was her hospice giver, her last regret she told me, that she would never see me after surgery - finally with my weight under control.  That was hard to deal with, I put off surgery for FIVE years, but you know what, I did it for me.

When I started my journey for surgery, my BMI was 74.4.  I used to be a very active, fat girl/woman, only to become a lump of my former self.  I had an injury take a lot of my activity away, but I also gave up trying to keep my weight at a "manageable" number.  This is the first time in ten years I am almost UNDER 300 pounds.  I am pretty happy about this.

I have lots of folks who keep me going - here, in my support groups, and other networking sites.  I do NOT have any family other than my daughter & boyfriend, I moved to Washington knowing no one living here.  I try hard to stay in touch - even if only online - but if I sound poopie, people won't want to keep up with me.  The old adage about honey & vinegar is true, so try to be a "glass half full" person.

A bad day alive is BETTER than a good day dead -- right?!

My blog has kept me going, through good times & bad.  My feelings are real, and folks have kept me going - because folks will reach out to you.  You posted this thread, and see, folks are reaching out to you!!!  Life isn't easy, but you can control how it goes ;)

The BEST support you will have, is your own.  Sounds pretty basic, but the one person I have to live with EVERY moment of the day is ME, so I try to keep myself going.  

If you need support - I will be happy to listen to you, make you laugh (when possible), and just be "here" for you --- HUGS!

Brenda : )~

Thanks for all the comments. I appreciate it.