Below my "goal" and I still hate the way I look. What's wrong with me?

Stella-Blue
on 5/19/11 10:13 am - Where the four winds blow me safely home, NY
My goal was less than 200 (I started at 487) I am 179 now and I think I look freaky, melted and odd.  Anyone else haviing problems with body dysmorphia after  huge weight loss?  It won't stop.  I am healthy...why can't I feel happy too?

Start: 487 lbs (8/07) Lost 81 lbs pre op on South Beach. 406 lbs at surgery (6/08). 179 post op, by 2011. I  lost 308 lbs. Gained 98 while pregnant (2012-13) lost all but 25. My goal is to be 179 again!
   siggy1 photo b83557eb-1c5e-4e0a-90b7-89760c2e36e2.jpg   Two years after that.... photo 44fcb3ac-18c4-4dfd-bf38-d324f956cf75.jpg      photo c2781653-fea8-4141-8cac-f0889127d077.jpg  I could not be happier. 

InkdSpEdTchr
on 5/20/11 7:39 am, edited 5/20/11 7:40 am
You are so not alone, I think most people get some of this, but esp. those of us with high BMI's because we have soooo much excess skin. I know I struggle with it!

I am getting better little by little learning to love myself again, and working out has had a lot to do with it. When I work out, I feel strong and powerful. I look down and my still HUGE thighs and think, hey these are the wonderful things that propel me hundreds of miles around town. 

Time, therapy, exercise, positive affirmations...these seemingly little things can have a huge impact.

Good luck on your journey ,
:Danni

:Danni  >>>AIDS/LifeCycle 10 & 11 Finisher: 545miles on the bike in 7 days <<<
HW390/SW340/CW 208/GW170
                   
  

             
  

acbbrown
on 5/21/11 6:27 am - Granada Hills, CA
I don't think I'll ever love the way I look. I'm going to have tons of extra skin. I haven't even had surgery yet (but have lost 80lbs in the last year) and I am grossed out by my whole body. It's not enough to affect me at this point - I just hurry up and put my clothes on after I shower.

I just want to say however, that you completely inspire me. You have done ABSOLUTELY AMAZING with your weight loss, and I hope that one day you will be able to accept yourself. You deserve to be happy with all that you've accomplished, and I really wish you the best!

www.sexyskinnybitch.wordpress.com - my journey to sexy skinny bitch status

11/16/12 - Got my Body by Sauceda - arms, Bl/BA, LBL, thigh lift. 


HW 420/ SW 335 /CW 200    85 lbs lost pre-op / 135 post op
  
~~~~Alison~~~~~

 

Brenda C.
on 5/21/11 6:51 am
First, be VERY proud of the weight you are currently at, that is a HUGE accomplishment (no pun intended)!  It is very difficult to look in the mirror for MANY people, not just folks who have lost a significant amount of weight - my mother once read me an article about a super model who hated her butt.  She explained, "See, she has a perfect body, but she still cannot see it!"

Having the hanging skin is a hard thing to look past, but maybe you should start talking to your doctors to see if you may be eligible for plastic surgery. 

Maybe you can try to focus on the things YOU CAN do & that YOU LIKE about the "new you"?  You can fit into clothes that are "normal" sized.  You are most likely more active than you used to be.  You are probably more healthy & taking less medication.  You don't have to feel like you need to apologize for being fat (I used to dread flying alone, being seated next to strangers).  

Focus on the positive, it isn't always easy, but YOU deserve to see your accomplishments!  

Brenda : )~
Jewel_in_hiding
on 5/21/11 8:03 am - Raleigh, NC
I think this is normal (especially those of us that started with high BMIs).  I have not hit my goal yet.  However, I already have skins problems.  I truly believe the skin is a large reason I dont see the change myself (only in pictures)..  I also believe that for most of us on this forum (high BMI), we will also see ourselves  differently than others view us.  For me personally, I plan to fight this dysmorphia every step of the way, and step one is plastic surgery
Top is my progress, Bottom is to Surgeon's Goal
  
         
    
dorthe H.
on 5/23/11 10:19 pm - farmington, MN
i lost 200 lbs and hated how i looked so badly i stopped trying to lose more weight and actually put 100 lbs back on.  there were other factors in my regain - of course - but i think being unhappy with how i looked after that weight loss was part of it.
     happy is such an elusive feeling.  it helps to count my blessings.  and positive affirmation helps as well.  we've spent a long time disliking ourselves, though, so it's only reasonable to think that the path to liking ourselves may be equally long.
     good luck with your journey, though, stella.  sounds like you're doing well.
DORTHE
     AGING IS INEVITABLE
              GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL!   
tabbyfree
on 5/31/11 7:02 am - Katy, TX
Hey my friend Stellaaaaaaa!!!!! How are you doing???? It's so good to see you post....

Now...about the melted candle syndrome...LOL I think to a certain extent we all have that. I haven't met my goal yet, and i'm sure alot of it has to do with the excess skin i still have. But my goodness...i was at almost 600lb!!! I have enough extra skin to cure an entire burn unit LOL

But I have to tell you, I just look in the mirror, say oh well...lol and move on. Hopefully one day I will get plastic surgery to remove some of it, but even if that day never comes...I'm sooooooooo totally thrilled with being a normal size fat person LOL How many people lose over 300lb and they're still fat? lol

My life is so different now, the skin is really the least of my problems. I'm fortunate to not have rashes and infections...for that i'm so totally grateful, along with my continued ability to shop in macy's and wear high heels.

Basically, there's worse things in life then some extra skin! I look great IN my clothes...and for now, that's enough to keep me going.

Please cheer up...we have come sooooooooo soooooooooo soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo FAR!
                    
Carrie N.
on 5/31/11 2:16 pm - Pigeon Forge, TN
I can relate.  I started at 385, had a goal of 199.  I am now in the 140s.  Every bone visible, no jiggle (belly not quite biki ready lol), lots of muscle.  I am a size 10.  I am drawn to 3x in the store.  I feel the need to tell everyone, even strangers, that I know I am big.  It's weird.  I don't have any words of wisdom, but sending you hugs and support!
Carrie
385/199 goal/139 current
6' Tall
bmi 18.8  - 1 LB AWAY FROM BEING UNDERWEIGHT  

Surgery Date 8/2/2005
Loris
on 6/1/11 7:39 am - Midlothian, VA
Even before plastics, the single thing that helped me was wearing the right clothes.  Jackets should button even if worn open, shoulders should fit.  Pants should be the perfect length.  Everyone should avoid Capri pants.  Choose city shorts instead.  Buying stunning purses.  Get a dynamite haircut.  Don't wear baggie clothes.  Don't wear skinny leg pants with blousy tops.  Find a good, fair priced tailor.  Play up your smallest figure part.  Mine is my tiny shoulders, go figure.  At a buxom 5'2",  I make sure I buy petite blouses and jackets so I fit my shoulders.  It makes a big difference.
I don't need many clothes, but I enjoy what I have.  Loris

                                     Loris  344/119@ 5'2" Below Goal                    
                                     Lower body lift  10/17/2007
                                     Upper body lift     1/23/2008

 


 

halblingefrau
on 7/26/11 5:19 am - Flagstaff, AZ
I know this is an older post but I have to chime in with a tip I received lately.  I met someone whose sister had lost a very large amount of weight (100+ lbs).  She said that rubbing 100% cocoa butter on her skin really helped its elasticity.  Of course I'm sure it won't be near the result one would have from plastic surgery, but if it helps even a little that might be the boost you need to begin loving your body.
    
 
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