Do you feel odd telling people how much you have lost?

I started thinking (sort of out loud) in my response to Molly, so let me throw it out there...

Those of us with high BMI's - over 50 - I have a question for you, do you feel uncomfortable telling people how much weight you have lost?

No one would ever have guessed how much I weighed when I started this journey, but I started at 474 pounds.  Now that folks are finally noticing I have lost "a lot of weight," they ask me, "How much weight have you lost?!"  I get this almost sick feeling in the pit of my stomach -- maybe from having to admit how truly fat I was -- I want to say a smaller number.

I still have close to 200 pounds to lose, so I am one third of the way there.  When I hear 114 pounds, all I can think of is, "DAMN! That is the weight of a small woman..."  I do not feel like I have lost that much, and actually have a bad habit of beating myself up for not having lost more to date.  The mind can be a cruel place.

Logically, I understand my weight and my weight loss, but emotionally, it is kind of bothering me.  Usually, I am a very positive person, so this week has been kind of a bummer.  I will pull my head out of this funk, but in the meantime, it did make me think.  Anyhow, I was looking to see if anyone else was feeling like I am...

Brenda : )~

Hi Brenda,

I guess I see your point, but I never had this issue.  And some are just trying to figure out how much you weighed or they will and after 200 pounds lost, I never blinked a eye and I can easily say I use to weigh almost 600 pounds.  But everyone is different.  I know I am never going back to 611 so I am proud of what I have accomplished and continue to accomplish.  Now since I have been in the 300 for a while, I am starting over sorta a speck.  So now when people ask how much I have lost I say 40 pounds because they know about the 200 already and some don't and I maintained in the low 300 for over 5 years so now I am in my 2nd phase......:-)

Hi Brenda

When I started out, my worst weight was 407.  My BMI was 67 and by surgery, I was down to 386 with a BMI of 64. 

I didn't feel odd telling people but people didn't really start asking until I was about 6 months out and I had lost 130 pounds from the worst at that point.  I only told one of my coworkers (one who sat by me) that I was going to have WLS and swore her to secrecy.  I did, however, tell people at the 6 month point because it was obvious that I lost a lot of weight at that point. 

I will be 3 years out on July 9th.  My first year was when I lost the vast majority of my weight and Year 1 to Year 2 I lost 25 pounds.  Year 2 to Year 3 I have played with 8 pounds (bounceback, some inconsistent exercise during the winter and a few treats finding their way into my mouth). 

What I have found is that the further out I get, the comments are not as much as they were before because I think people are getting used to seeing me the way I am now.  It makes things harder now actually.  But an interesting thing happened recently--our office had to have a group picture taken for the company newsletter in December.  The person who is in charge of the pictures had them in a folder on one of the drives and she happened to come across a picture taken on Earth Day 2008 (about 2 months before my surgery).  She came up to me, had me retrieve the picture, and told me that she was looking at the picture and couldn't figure out who it was.  It occurred to her it was me.  It put things in perspective. 

You should be very proud of yourself.  You have come a long way and while you have some to go, you will get to where you want to be.  There is nothing wrong with being proud of yourself.
 
Don't beat yourself up.  My dietitican told me that after a while, weight loss becomes like stairs--you level out and then drop, level and drop, etc.  Enjoy the journey--the ride can be bumpy and there are some curves thrown at you along the way but you will find what works for you.  Hang in there.

Sylvia

I think my issues are definitely in my head and sadly a negative spin has occurred.  I think I am having a bad week -- still keeping on track, not cheating, and exercising.  Reminding myself that "everyone has one of those days" is what I am doing.

The thing I am having issues with is that I am not losing vast numbers (62 pounds by three months, another 20 by five months), so I am trying to stay positive that "slow & steady will win the race".

Other than a handful of people, I have not told anyone about the surgery.  So, this is also weighing on me (what an appropriate pun). 

Obviously I am dealing with my own issues over the highest weight - which for me is crazy, since I have always tried to be positive and carry myself with a fair amount of dignity.  The number is what I am bothered with, so I realize I need to just "get over it".  Man, I hate being human (insert nervous laughter, here).

Thanks for the input, and I just figure that next week will be a better week.  Luckily for me I rarely get into these negative moods!

Brenda : )~

I thought that for those of us with a BMI it is normal to feel exactly what your feeling when someone asks and although not everyone might have those feelings I think it is something even people with lower BMI's feel at times and I think it is normal. The key I guess is realizing that it really does not matter at this point because we are on our way to being a healthy BMI and at the end of the night what counts is only how you think and feel about yourself! Your doing awesome and eventually your going to want to shout out those numbers!!! I'd be shouting them out now!!

When people ask me about how much I've lost, I always say "I don't know, I don't weigh myself except at the doctors and I haven't been in a long time..."   That usually shuts people up.

I usually tell folks what I have lost. But, I have also said "a half a person" or "almost one full adult"-- Sometimes just saying "a whole lot!!" does the trick. If you don't wanna tell don't, it is your business only, unless you wanna open up to someone.

You are doing great and inspire me with your upbeat attitude. It will return.

I am proud to say how much I have lost...I just won't tell anyone where I started from. I do tend to say that I need to lose 200lbs, so with 125 gone, I only need to lose another 75! that usually is enough for them. Only my husband and those on this board know that I started at 404lbs. that's not something I am willing to share..maybe when I am down to my goal weight, I might reveal it, but I doubt it.
As time goes by, people do tend to forget what I looked like before, and only see me as I am now...so I carry a "before" photo in my purse, so they can see how far I have come. I like the reminder for myself and often have to get it out to remind myself that I have changed alot since then, when the weight loss slows and makes me forget and depressed.
I only loss 5 pounds for the month of April. that doesn't make me happy, but when I look at the big picture...
Hang in there!

I can so relate to not wanting to tell people how much I've lost.   I'm like you and am sure that they have no idea how big I really was.   Most of the time I tell them just what I've lost since surgery.   I know that this will get easier but I'm still embarrassed that I let myself get so large.  But --- I'm so glad that I had this surgery and definitely don't have any regrets.   It's been life changing.

I think I will just go with a PERCENTAGE - so when folks ask, "how much..." I will just give them the percentage ;)

Now, I need to rely on mathematics!
Brenda  : )~