Getting closer and getting scared

 I've waited a long time to be able to get the surgery (RNY or GSV if they can't do RNY cuz of my large size??).   I am going through Kaiser and met with the surgeon and did all the pre-surgery routine that Kaiser has you do before you get to the actual surgery table.

I received a call that I'm within 7 pounds of the goal the dr. set so it's time for the psych evaluation.   I didn't know it was coming up so soon.   

I'm freaking out.  What if the surgery doesn't work?  What if they accidentally leave a scalpel inside me?  What if there is an infection?

AT my size I expect the worse because being this size has a host of issues that come along with it?  Can anyone relate?  

I feel the same way. I just posted the question of "can it be done without surgery".

Being scared is perfectly normal.  Any big decision is scary.  I was at a high weight preop too (428).  I did have a complication with my surgery.  I got a pinched nerve in my back because I was on the table so long (over 5 hours).  It took that long because I also had my gallbladder removed and a hernia fixed.  It was really scary to wake up from surgery and be unable to feel your hands and your feet.  But, before I ever left the hospital, I had feeling back in both hands and one foot.  One of my feet was stubborn and took longer.  Anyway, it was a painful process, but I would absolutely do it again.  I am 5 months postop and have lost 128 lbs (40 were preop).  I am able to walk 3 miles everyday.  I went to a local festival and walked and shopped and never had any back pain.  I am wearing clothes that I haven't worn in years.  So, being scared is normal, complications happen, but for me, the surgery was the best decision I ever made.  I am happier than I have been in years.  I am planning on running a 5K next June and thinking about doing the 3 day 60 mile breast cancer walk next November.  Those things would not even be possibilities without my surgery. 

 Thank you so much for replying to my post.  I appreciate your story and it's good to know that you have made it out of the surgery and are in tact!   It is amazing that you can walk 3 miles now because people of our size just couldn't do anything like that even if we wanted to...

Keep in touch with me as you go through your journey and I will do the same.   

Great work and congratulations!

Ditto to the other posts. I was scared to death, but in the end let my fate fall into the hands of the professional and god. Once I did that it was over so quick I almost missed it. Steady your resolve if this is what you want and take the leap!

Chrispy

Being scaredI think is so normal, worrying about what might happen... On the day of my surgery I was 309 pounds and just trusted my doctor and that he knew what he was doing. I did have complications, however nothing that couldnt be fixed (Ulcer and Stricture). 

The chances of the surgery not working are slim....I went on a liquid diet for almost a month before the surgery and lost 40 pounds from my heaviest (of 356)... Did all i could to help with the surgery..

It was the best decision I made. I knew being over a BMI of 55 was a risk.. however I was willing to take it... I am 2 months out... I went from a size 28 to a 20 (in just 2 months!)... and I FEEL fantastic... I can do more things, cross my legs, fit in some normal chairs and work out without feeling as if im going to die right there on the treadmill!

Good luck and try not to worry, however thats easier said than done.... As long as you have accepted all possibilities it will make your life so much easier :)

Yep, I went though all the Kaiser hoops too- and I'm thankful for it! They are put in place to make sure that this is a life-long lifestyle change for you.

I was super scared as well, but with a BMI of 59 I was already dying so this was my last hope. Thankfully it remains the best decision I've ever made!!

It's totally normal to be freaked out, but remember that they do this everyday and even people who have complications are usually still thankful because they get their life back.

Here's some things that I can do now that I couldn't 30 BMI points ago:

Horseback riding
Hiking
Jet Skiing
BUNGEE JUMPING (can't wait to go again!)
Para-Sailing
Kayaking
Playing water polo
Ran multiple 5K's
Walked a 10K
Wore a sleeveless shirt
Biking (up to 50miles a day so far)
Shopped in regular stores (I even own clothes w/out an X in front!)

 Thank you so much for writing back to my post.  I am very thankful that people like you are willing to share your story after the surgery.   

Believe me, I completely appreciate the hoops because if you read my page which entails my journey you would see that the first time I was denied and it was a good thing.  I didn't feel like it was justified at the time but looking back I can see that it was certainly not the right time for me to get the surgery.  Emotionally I was a wreck and absolutely would have not been a good candidate at that time.  

I'm ready this time I think...I do get bogged down just how long the journey is and how much skin I will have after all is said and done, but most importantly I want to be able to do things I love:

Ride a rollercoaster!
Walk on a pretty path.
Do Yoga again.
Ride a bike.
Ride on an airplane.
Travel to distant places.
Visit folks I haven't seen in a while.
Have a lovelife.

Michele

The fears you are having are PERFECTLY normal.  Most everyone has them.  Whether they are a BMI of 40 or a 70.  My BMI was 60 when I started this journey.  My thoughts were that my choice was death or life.  On the path I was on I'm sure I had less than 5 years and miserable years at that.  The other choice was life... and a life with everything that I couldn't do. 

I obviously decided life and had the surgery.  I was 479lbs and they were able to do my RNY Laproscopically.  Honestly it couldn't have gone better.  I've had no complications, I don't dump (... debates whether thats good or not LOL).  I excersise regularly.  I regularly walk 4 miles in about an hour.  I was able to coach my sons baseball team last Spring (it was an amazing experience).  I fly regularly for work and don't have to worry about fitting in the seats.  I went on vacation in August and rode looping roller coasters and went down water slides :)  I run up and down the stairs at my house without thinking about it and have little to no back pain now.  I'm outside with my kids excersising and playing sports all the time.  I could go on and on and on and on!!  My suggestion is to Choose Life :)  I don't think you'll regret it :)  At least thats been my experience :)

I hope this helps and Good Luck on your Journey :)

Brendan

I just wanted to chime in here and let you know that surgery will be the best thing you can do for yourself and you will not regret it!
I started at 404lbs, had the Sleeve surgery just 7 weeks ago.  I have already lost 58lbs!
As a heavy weight, I had almost stopped living.  I was staying in my house more and more..not going out, not seeing people, pushing friends away, not attending parties, weddings, etc...  all because of my weight.  Now, I feel better than I have in years, and it's only going to get better.
It's normal to feel scared.  I sat the morning of my surgery, in a chair and cried.  I did not want to go.  Then reality sets in...at my weight, which is more scary, waiting for that heart attack to come? or maybe a stroke? how about heart surgery on my chest? how about wheel chairs and motorized buggies because I can no longer walk?  No, I did not want that for the rest of my life.  The pros far out way the cons of surgery!!
I am in awe of you losing 200lbs not once, but Twice!! wow!! it shows you have dedication! You can do this!! you really are a great candidate for surgery!  Only this time, the weight will not come back!! you will be free!
I too, feared the loose skin, but it is still better than not being able to move!  I figured, I would cross that bridge when I get there. 
I had a text book surgery.  No complications at all.  No pain once I got home, no gas problems, and I have tolerated every food I have tried.  for me, the surgery was the easy part, learning to eat again is alot harder.
I wish you all the luck in the world and know that we are all here for support!
Don't delay any more, you won't be sorry! go for it!!