so much to lose

Just wondering if it ever bothers anyone here..(the over 50 bmi crowd) because we have so much to lose?  I feel so good at times with my weight loss, and then people see me that know I have had WLS, and they look at me like I should suddenly be thin, or I see them look down so that they are not looking at me because I still look the same!!  I have lost almost 60lbs, but because I have 200lbs to lose, you really cant tell.   I can tell, my hubby can tell, but to the rest of the world I am still so big that it hurts my feelings when they dont see my 60lbs as a great loss like I do!  I havent been able to lose weight in years, so this is a miracle for me.  I feel better than I have in years, I can reach places I haven't reached in years, I feel so much better about myself and no longer feel like jabba the hut. 
the problem is that when I come to these forums, (the sleeve forum) most of the people there have a STARTING weight of 201 or so!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and they think they are sooo overweight.  Im amazed.  their starting weight is my goal weight!!  It's so much different for the heavy weights and the victories that we feel than the lightweights... they just dont understand, along with most of the world.    I suppose it is just getting to me today...  just when I thought I would feel great, I suddenly feel just as big as ever.   How do we get passed what others think about us,and shut off that "you-are-different-from-the-world" attitude that makes us feel less than normal?

greetings and congratulations on your loss thus far! i know exactly what you're feeling. it seems like the weight you've lost so far should be SO obvious to others, yet it's not. what you need to do is just forget about others! you know what you're doing, and no one's opinion matters but yours.

you've hit the nail on the head as to why this bmi over 50 board was created. so many of us felt like you -- others on other boards had so little to lose compared to our situations. this is place to hang out with people in the same situation as you're in.

i used to be here quite often -- but it's true that after you've lost the weight, real life tends to take over and your participation here does taper off. i started out with a bmi of 66, now it's 24. i've lost 295 lbs.

so, stick around here! and keep up the good work!

all the best.
deb

I can relate. I am still pre-op, won't be able to even send in to insurance until 2011 but I know what you mean. If I could get to 200# I would be ecstatic!

I often look on this board and don't see very much posted from people who have had surgery a few years back. I hope it is because the are busy living their lives and not that there were complications. That is what worries me, having complications with having so much to lose/high starting weight.

I wonder too if I shouldn't have shared with people at work that I am going to have the surgery for the very reasons you stated. I don't need/want to be stared at and talked about whether I've lost etc. I don't want this to be about a number on the scale or a total number of pounds lost. I want it to be about how I feel and the things I can accomplish as I get more fit that I wasn't able to being SMO.

Good luck to you and keep on losing! :)

I am right there with all of you, I am pre-op, hopefully approved soon, fighting with the insurance company... and I have a BMI of 62.  I have seen people get approved with BMI's in the 40's, and I want to scream!  : )

At 5"4 and 365 pounds, this isnt about vanity, I am trying to save my own life here!

Best of luck to all of you,

Maria

Me Too LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did this. I'm the one who got to 440. Lot's of reasons why, but in the end it's still me. I do feel different than the others, I am different. Like you I lost weight (55 lbs pre-op) and no one noticed, they probably were so used to looking through me they just couldn't see it. Now that I have had surgery I am quickly approaching the 100 Mark and will STILL need to lose another 140 pounds.

Just know you are not alone. There are many others going through this as well. We will support you!

Chrispy

Congrats on the weightloss so far... Trust me one day people will look at you and be like "WOW"... If you feel better thats fantastic and thats what matters.... I see tons of people on the main board that start in the low 200's and im like wow i can't wait to get to the low 200's!!!!! Ive lost about 80 pounds so far and people are JUST now starting to notice.. however I was wearing my size 30 pants up until the other day when I had to break down and buy some new ones...  Keep up the good work :)

I feel exactly the same way!  I have lost over 60 lbs, and not a soul has noticed.  It was very discouraging the other day to read on the sleeve board that someone who had surgery the same day I did has already reached her goal!

I don't even dare set a goal lower than 200 lbs because I can't imagine ever being able to lose that much weight.  The last time I weighed less than 200 lbs was in the 70's!

I'm so glad there is a board for us so that we don't have to feel alone!

We have all had those days when we got discouraged because of the amount we need to lose.  I have lost 128lbs and not everyone notices.  I suggest taking a picture of yourself now and at regular intervals.  When you are feeling depressed, look at the pictures.  Seeing it in pictures makes it more obvious how far you have come.  That has helped me on the rough days.  I also kept my biggest pair of pants.  When I need to brighten my mood, I put them on and can't help but smile. 
Anyway, just wanted to share some of the ideas that have helped me on the rough days.  Keep up the good work and remember you are doing this for you, not for anyone else:)

If you've read anything on this board- you know that you are not alone! There have been many a time when I see people who talk about how HUGE they were at 200lbs and I want to throttle them...but then I remember that we are all on our own journey and I can only work on me.

I started out with a BMI of 59 and I'm now at 29 (so happy to be overweight!) and though it took a while for people to notice- they sure notice now!

So be patient and focus on the things you CAN dd... whenever I get down about my weight-loss I just think about my activity-gain. I didn't used to be able to get on a bicycle and now I bike 20miles to and from work w/o problem!!

Just stay the course and you'll get to where your body wants to be!!
Good Luck!

 as others have said.... you are not alone... we all have either been there are approaching there.. or are there with u right now... i started with over an 80 BMI... an im around a 45 BMI now... it takes alot of hard work an true dedication..  alot of ppl wont notice ur loss for along time... not because ur progress isnt noticible but because most ppl dont really see us.... its kinda like when we see someone severely disfigured... we look then look away as not to stare... because 1 staring is rude.. 2 we dont want to hurt their feelins... 3 for some... seeing that horrifes them an so on.... point im making  skinny  ppl see us as disfigured... as harsh as that sounds its true...  so we are basically invisible to them...  so it sorta makes sence they dont see the changes because they didnt know what we really looked like? u know... so  forgive them for their ignorance or for being polite enough not to have stared..   depending on the persons...  im still over 250 depending on the day... and i recently had my first round of medically nessacery plastics...  which removed 25 lbs of skin from my tummy...  there are days i sit in the corner...... let old habits get to me... eat a few corn chips...  an think i did it all for nothing..... because im still HUGE.. my legs are covered with what i call... "saggy elephant skin"  my arms hang so low... i have burnt them more then once reaching over a pot to get something... from bk of stove...  an so on.. but then most days.... im smiling because i can walk, shop in normal stores..,take a real bath, fit in any car... wear a seatbelt.  fit into my 19 yr old friends clothes... hehe.... and the list just goes on n on n on..... my suggesttion that i didnt see here is........... measure urself... and when ur down.. an havent lost for weeks............  an yes stalls do happen they arnt folklore..  u will see the inches melting away.. as ur body reshapes itself its amazing how that happens as we gain muscle an lose fat...  Good luck on ur journey we are all here for each other dont hesitate to post... comment, vent ,whatever this is the most nonjudge mental forum on here in my opnion

this is my OH home n Family.... an i love it an them.... they have seen me through thick an thinner..... an i promise i will come around even when i make it to goal if for no other reason but to keep giving back what i have gotten from here.... love, caring, support,  acknowledgement for my hard work.. etc... i will be here for others... because u all have been here for me...