just lost
Hello everyone, i am new to this forum. I am 32 years old and weight around 460. I have wanted to have wls for years but am too big of a chicken. First let me tell you...i'm a big chicken. i am terrified of pain. And second, like all of you, I LOVE FOOD. I didnt get this fat on lettuce! I'm scared that I will go crazy without eating like i am used to. I have tried to lose weight on my own. I 'm diabetic and have many other health problems. It took me years to switch to diet soda. Now, thank God, for the last 4 months...its been only diet soda. I dont drink much water even tho your supposed to. I need help! For all you out there who have had success....what did you do and how did you make yourself succeed? I really dont want to be cut on, but I was told that I am too big for the lap. Please help me.
Thanks,
Pea
Thanks,
Pea
Hi there,
I'm 29 and had surgery almost 8 months ago. My highest weight was 380. I too thought about surgery off and on but always stayed away from it because of the fear of anatomy changes, but mostly the thought of having to give up good food and binge eating. My PCP suggested surgery and I balked. But I thought about it for a few months, did a ton of research, and met with my surgeon. I initially thought the lapband would be right for me, but after even more research and consulting with him, landed on the RNY. I have zero regrets.
It hasn't been an easy row to hoe, but one thing that amazes me is that I still enjoy good food! I love to cook and can find a healthier way to make just about anything. Now, binge eating - that's clearly a no no. It's been challenging coping with that. But, I have an amazing counselor that I started 6 months before surgery and that has helped significantly.
I've lost over 140 lbs and every day I am amazed by the improvements in the quality of my life. Most days I seem convinced I won't ever lose another pound and sometimes I struggle with the fact that I don't even recognize myself. But I'm working through this issues and all in all, am SO grateful for the years it has added to my life and given me so many more experiences with my daughter already.
No one can make the decision for you. And if you're not ready, you most definitely should not have surgery. Maybe you can just explore it - meet with a surgeon, find a good counselor, etc. Start building a team of folks who will advocate for your health. But always listen to yourself - deep down you know what is right for you.
I've written more about my experiences on my website (link in my signature). Feel free to drop me a line if you'd like to talk more :)
Best,
Michelle
I'm 29 and had surgery almost 8 months ago. My highest weight was 380. I too thought about surgery off and on but always stayed away from it because of the fear of anatomy changes, but mostly the thought of having to give up good food and binge eating. My PCP suggested surgery and I balked. But I thought about it for a few months, did a ton of research, and met with my surgeon. I initially thought the lapband would be right for me, but after even more research and consulting with him, landed on the RNY. I have zero regrets.
It hasn't been an easy row to hoe, but one thing that amazes me is that I still enjoy good food! I love to cook and can find a healthier way to make just about anything. Now, binge eating - that's clearly a no no. It's been challenging coping with that. But, I have an amazing counselor that I started 6 months before surgery and that has helped significantly.
I've lost over 140 lbs and every day I am amazed by the improvements in the quality of my life. Most days I seem convinced I won't ever lose another pound and sometimes I struggle with the fact that I don't even recognize myself. But I'm working through this issues and all in all, am SO grateful for the years it has added to my life and given me so many more experiences with my daughter already.
No one can make the decision for you. And if you're not ready, you most definitely should not have surgery. Maybe you can just explore it - meet with a surgeon, find a good counselor, etc. Start building a team of folks who will advocate for your health. But always listen to yourself - deep down you know what is right for you.
I've written more about my experiences on my website (link in my signature). Feel free to drop me a line if you'd like to talk more :)
Best,
Michelle
Highest: 380 / Surgery Day: 344 / Current: 203.8 / Goal: ~180 / Total Loss: 176.2
http://www.sangriasisters.com
http://www.sangriasisters.com
I have been over weight my entire adult life. I thougyht for years that i could handle it too. My Dr. urged me for 18 months to think of the surgery b/c he was concerned for my health. However I was dead set against it, partly fear and partly pride. Eventually, my health problems began to outweigh both. It is different for some than others. I was not at all forced to have surgery, but my options were getting limited and my future was getting pretty bleak.
The reasons you eat are there whether or not you choose to have surgery. But the food, like pain medication, doesn't fix the source of the pain. It numbs you, and numbs your experience of your life.
The surgery has thus far forced me to work on the emotional issues that drove me to eat. And, I have to say, after greiving food (my friend), the food doesn't taste as good as I once thought it did.
(thought you may need that)
The reasons you eat are there whether or not you choose to have surgery. But the food, like pain medication, doesn't fix the source of the pain. It numbs you, and numbs your experience of your life.
The surgery has thus far forced me to work on the emotional issues that drove me to eat. And, I have to say, after greiving food (my friend), the food doesn't taste as good as I once thought it did.
(thought you may need that)
I'm 40. My only regret about the surgery is not doing it sooner. It is totally life changing, but you have to be ready for it.
Some things you need to think about:
It's not brain surgery -- it won't magically fix whatever compels you to self-medicate with food.
I have moments where I would dearly love to eat a pan of brownies to soothe some anguish, but I know I can't.
I did not experience a whole lot of pain from my procedure (once I figured out what "sip" meant), but it varies from person to person.
The surgery is just a tool. You have to do the work of watching what you eat and getting more active to make it work. For me it was a head start. Now I'm getting to the point where I have to work at it.
My advice:
See a counselor about whatever is making you eat to soothe yourself.
Lurk a lot, post a little here on Obesity Help. (We're a pretty friendly bunch on this board and don't mind newbie questions as much. But if you want quick answers, the main forum is better. However, they have less patience for newbies.)
Investigate everything thoroughly. I started out thinking about a band. Then I thought the vertical sleeve gastrectomy would be better for my eating style (quantity). Then I got the RNY because that's what my insurance would pay for.
Work on transitioning from diet soda to water. It's soooo much better for you. Soda has lots of chemicals that aren't good for you. Maybe try Crystal Light or tea. Tea is my goto drink when I'm someplace that has soda.
Get more active -- slowly. With the combo of lots of walking and Weigh****chers (age 31), I went from 400 to 260 pounds in 2000-2002. (which I regained most of). But I think the walking was the most important thing (I need to remind myself of this all the time).
Work on eating better quality food now. Eat healthier. Wean yourself off chips, cookies, candy, fried stuff. Eat more veggies. Start taking vitamins.
See if you can start a medically supervised diet so if you do decide on surgery, you have that box checked.
Little steps. It's not like they're going to stop doing the surgery any time soon.
Take care.
One food makes you larger, and one food makes you small...
I understand where you are coming from. I haven't had the surgery yet, but I am already freaking out that I will be a failure!!
I am doing this 5 day "reset" program, which consists of shakes, and fresh fruit and vegetables - very little else. Yesterday was my first day - and I cheated! I had chips last night! And that got me down - thinking if I can't even do this for 1 day, how can I expect to do it for life?? I know - I won't be drinking shakes for the rest of my life, but still...it scares me!
And, I will be self-pay - and I freak out about spending that much money on myself. We are already in debt, and maybe I shouldn't be adding to it.
And, why can't I just motivate myself to do it without resorting to surgery??
And, what if I spend all this money, get further into debt and I fail!?
Don't get me wrong, I am going ahead with the surgery. I am 39 years old, and I have only been going up in weight - I honestly don't think I will do this without surgery. Up until 3 years ago, I would have told you that I was one of those obese people that doesn't have negative health issues, etc. But, I can tell you, the pain is starting to happen, and I don't want to end up not being able to walk or do anything.
Good luck with your decision, whatever you decide. Just know that you are not alone in feeling like this!
Heather.
I am doing this 5 day "reset" program, which consists of shakes, and fresh fruit and vegetables - very little else. Yesterday was my first day - and I cheated! I had chips last night! And that got me down - thinking if I can't even do this for 1 day, how can I expect to do it for life?? I know - I won't be drinking shakes for the rest of my life, but still...it scares me!
And, I will be self-pay - and I freak out about spending that much money on myself. We are already in debt, and maybe I shouldn't be adding to it.
And, why can't I just motivate myself to do it without resorting to surgery??
And, what if I spend all this money, get further into debt and I fail!?
Don't get me wrong, I am going ahead with the surgery. I am 39 years old, and I have only been going up in weight - I honestly don't think I will do this without surgery. Up until 3 years ago, I would have told you that I was one of those obese people that doesn't have negative health issues, etc. But, I can tell you, the pain is starting to happen, and I don't want to end up not being able to walk or do anything.
Good luck with your decision, whatever you decide. Just know that you are not alone in feeling like this!
Heather.
I am glad to hear that you are trying, that is more than I can honestly say prior to my surgery. It took me four years to come to terms with having surgery and the last year insurance approval. I had surgery a few days prior to my 33rd birthday and weighed 392, ugh. I wish I could say that I really went into surgery thinking things would change for me, I hoped and just figured well then at least I tried everything. I was a wreck with no hope. Since surgery I am amazed to find the person that is left, I am so happy really happy. I guess I am having a moment here because you got me teary eyed because I hear that agnozing pain I had before. Life is now great and hard and of course stinks at times but I would never change how I got here because I love my new life! Best of luck to you and you have found a great forum here everyone has been so wonderful and supportive of me and I am sure you will find the same.
Our stories sound similar! I do love food! When I started my journey I was at 404 lbs and age 31. That was just 3 short months ago! Today I am still losing and at 324. That's 80 lbs!
Like you I was terrified of pain! I will be completely honest with you, it wasn't easy, but it also wasn't as bad as I feared it would be. I had the laparoscopic approach, so that made it less painful than I heard an open was. So for awhile I feared that something would happen during surgery and end up with an open. But nothing happened and everything passed without any real hitches.
Like you I loved food, that's why I gained so much weight. But also when I was depressed I ate, when I was happy and to celebrate special occasions I ate, stress I ate. Some people smoke, drink, etc. I ate.
Since surgery, suddenly food doesn't seem as important anymore. Sure I still enjoy some foods, some of the foods I used to enjoy I get sick even thinking about it. I am discovering new food loves that are healthy for me. Grilled asparagus is awesome! :D I don't get excited about cake or other sweets or unhealthy foods anymore. My tastes seem to be changing. I value healthy fresh foods, as opposed to prepacked and processed. I like to know what I am putting into my body.
I also have turned to other outlets for stress. Excercise if you can believe can be fun! challenging yourself and meeting or exceeding expectations is a great thing. :)
Like you I started making small changed to get me along the way. First switched from regular to diet soda. Then cut out soda altogether, they advised against any carbonated beverage after surgery because it can restretch your pouch. I started laying off white bread and flours. Started walking. All those things helped me before surgery and you sort of start surgery being prepared. I can't imagine having a caffeine headache on top of the morphine haze, and general pain from the incision sites to feeling like garbage. That is one less thing you have to worry about. The more small changes you can do now before surgery can only help you after surgery.
Feel free to pm me and we can talk more. But your on the right track. Just keep going. Everyday is a new day. Do the best with each day.
BTW my BMI was a 55 or 56 when I had lab RNY. But I was on a month long preop diet to get my weight down farther. I lost 27 lbs during that month. Today my BMI is 44. Still a ways to go, but I will get there. :)
Like you I was terrified of pain! I will be completely honest with you, it wasn't easy, but it also wasn't as bad as I feared it would be. I had the laparoscopic approach, so that made it less painful than I heard an open was. So for awhile I feared that something would happen during surgery and end up with an open. But nothing happened and everything passed without any real hitches.
Like you I loved food, that's why I gained so much weight. But also when I was depressed I ate, when I was happy and to celebrate special occasions I ate, stress I ate. Some people smoke, drink, etc. I ate.
Since surgery, suddenly food doesn't seem as important anymore. Sure I still enjoy some foods, some of the foods I used to enjoy I get sick even thinking about it. I am discovering new food loves that are healthy for me. Grilled asparagus is awesome! :D I don't get excited about cake or other sweets or unhealthy foods anymore. My tastes seem to be changing. I value healthy fresh foods, as opposed to prepacked and processed. I like to know what I am putting into my body.
I also have turned to other outlets for stress. Excercise if you can believe can be fun! challenging yourself and meeting or exceeding expectations is a great thing. :)
Like you I started making small changed to get me along the way. First switched from regular to diet soda. Then cut out soda altogether, they advised against any carbonated beverage after surgery because it can restretch your pouch. I started laying off white bread and flours. Started walking. All those things helped me before surgery and you sort of start surgery being prepared. I can't imagine having a caffeine headache on top of the morphine haze, and general pain from the incision sites to feeling like garbage. That is one less thing you have to worry about. The more small changes you can do now before surgery can only help you after surgery.
Feel free to pm me and we can talk more. But your on the right track. Just keep going. Everyday is a new day. Do the best with each day.
BTW my BMI was a 55 or 56 when I had lab RNY. But I was on a month long preop diet to get my weight down farther. I lost 27 lbs during that month. Today my BMI is 44. Still a ways to go, but I will get there. :)
Hey Sweetpea,
First, I started to say hi Pea, but started laughing ;) You will find TONS (pun, huh?) of support here! We are/were where you are now, so just browse the forum & you are sure to find the wisdom you seek (so Yoda like, huh?).
I know 15 friends who have done WLS, and I was almost ready to do RNY over 5 years ago, but didn't. It is an emotional decision that may take you time to come to the end conclusion. My advise: Join local support groups, look for a nutritionist, and if you can, a therapist. Now that my personal life is stable, I am ready to do the RNY surgery - and my boyfriend is getting VSG
Trust me, if you are NOT emotionally ready, you will not get full use of any surgery. One friend almost died from complications, lost over 200 pounds in his first six month, but never got any real therapy. He moved away, and when he came back for a visit, he admitted he gained 75 pounds in just over two months! Granted, he was over 600 pounds when he started, but he is a food & soda addict , and NEVER addressed his issues. He regrets the surgery, because he CANNOT eat/drink as much as he used to, so I wonder why he got RNY in the first place.
One way you can work through the pain worries is like how I equated the pain of childbirth: It really hurts one day, then gets better each day, to the day you don't have any pain left. I had surgery three years ago, and I was bummed that I did not "bounce back" as quick as I used to, but then again, I was REALLY ill and needed the surgery. You know, by the end of a month after the surgery, I no longer about the pain, I was back to normal.
There are other ways to lose weight, ask any fat person, we ALL know how to lose weight - it's keeping it off that is the real challenge! For seven months, I gave up food, doing a medically supervised (soy based) fast. I lost 135 pounds, and kept it off almost five years, but guess what? In the following seven years I have gained the 135 PLUS another 60 pounds. I gave myself a year to lose weight - increasing my exercise & watching my calorie intake, but it just hasn't worked. So, by December of 2009, I made my decision: Weight Loss Surgery.
When I finally was ready to undertake such a life changing procedure, I talked it over with my boyfriend, and was surprised that he felt the same way. It takes (on average) six months or so to get a surgery date (mine is taking longer), so you have ample time to get your head thinking healthy. When I started swimming over a year ago, I could only do 20 laps. By the beginning of this year I could swim two miles in an hour and a half! Step by step, just remember it took YEARS to gain all your weight, it doesn't come off in a day.
Stay positive - and DRINK YOUR WATER! If you have to, start adding Crystal Light to your water, and slowly ween yourself by making it weaker. It takes three weeks to make or break any habit ;)
Brenda : )~
First, I started to say hi Pea, but started laughing ;) You will find TONS (pun, huh?) of support here! We are/were where you are now, so just browse the forum & you are sure to find the wisdom you seek (so Yoda like, huh?).
I know 15 friends who have done WLS, and I was almost ready to do RNY over 5 years ago, but didn't. It is an emotional decision that may take you time to come to the end conclusion. My advise: Join local support groups, look for a nutritionist, and if you can, a therapist. Now that my personal life is stable, I am ready to do the RNY surgery - and my boyfriend is getting VSG
Trust me, if you are NOT emotionally ready, you will not get full use of any surgery. One friend almost died from complications, lost over 200 pounds in his first six month, but never got any real therapy. He moved away, and when he came back for a visit, he admitted he gained 75 pounds in just over two months! Granted, he was over 600 pounds when he started, but he is a food & soda addict , and NEVER addressed his issues. He regrets the surgery, because he CANNOT eat/drink as much as he used to, so I wonder why he got RNY in the first place.
One way you can work through the pain worries is like how I equated the pain of childbirth: It really hurts one day, then gets better each day, to the day you don't have any pain left. I had surgery three years ago, and I was bummed that I did not "bounce back" as quick as I used to, but then again, I was REALLY ill and needed the surgery. You know, by the end of a month after the surgery, I no longer about the pain, I was back to normal.
There are other ways to lose weight, ask any fat person, we ALL know how to lose weight - it's keeping it off that is the real challenge! For seven months, I gave up food, doing a medically supervised (soy based) fast. I lost 135 pounds, and kept it off almost five years, but guess what? In the following seven years I have gained the 135 PLUS another 60 pounds. I gave myself a year to lose weight - increasing my exercise & watching my calorie intake, but it just hasn't worked. So, by December of 2009, I made my decision: Weight Loss Surgery.
When I finally was ready to undertake such a life changing procedure, I talked it over with my boyfriend, and was surprised that he felt the same way. It takes (on average) six months or so to get a surgery date (mine is taking longer), so you have ample time to get your head thinking healthy. When I started swimming over a year ago, I could only do 20 laps. By the beginning of this year I could swim two miles in an hour and a half! Step by step, just remember it took YEARS to gain all your weight, it doesn't come off in a day.
Stay positive - and DRINK YOUR WATER! If you have to, start adding Crystal Light to your water, and slowly ween yourself by making it weaker. It takes three weeks to make or break any habit ;)
Brenda : )~
taramarie123
on 7/22/10 12:49 pm - San Marcos, TX
on 7/22/10 12:49 pm - San Marcos, TX
Our stories are very similar. I am 33 and started at 468 at my highest. I has surgery on 5/10/10 and haven't regretted it for a moment. (okay, maybe I did have a few thoughts of what have I done that first week when I was recovering but it was more, what have I done that I had to have surgery to lose weight? I would say it was more guilt for overeating for so many years rather than regret of having the surgery).
I agree that my taste seem to be changing and I don't really crave sweets much. The biggest thing I have struggled over is not eating bread. Man I miss bread but when I look in the mirror it's so worth it. I have lost 67lbs since surgery! It's been great. Just the littlest things in my everyday life that make me smile...fitting more confortably in movie theater seats, walking my dogs and not getting out of breath, I even mowed my front yard without stopping for a break!!!
I have a high pain tolerance so the pain didn't worry me so much, but I was worried about having surgery in general. I just kept telling myself for a week or two of surgery pain and recovery, it will be years without back pain, joint pain, ect... So, so worth it!!!
And as far so the sodas go, girl, I understand. Man, I had several sodas everyday and haven't had 1 since 5/10. Haven't missed them. I was really tired right after surgery, but I am sure it was due to healing, going off caffeine, and going off sugar and now my energy levels have definately gone up. Trust me, you will not regret it. Best thing I ever did. I feel like my life is starting over again at age 33!! It's a true second chance and how often do you get those in life???? I would do it again in a heartbeat.
I agree that my taste seem to be changing and I don't really crave sweets much. The biggest thing I have struggled over is not eating bread. Man I miss bread but when I look in the mirror it's so worth it. I have lost 67lbs since surgery! It's been great. Just the littlest things in my everyday life that make me smile...fitting more confortably in movie theater seats, walking my dogs and not getting out of breath, I even mowed my front yard without stopping for a break!!!
I have a high pain tolerance so the pain didn't worry me so much, but I was worried about having surgery in general. I just kept telling myself for a week or two of surgery pain and recovery, it will be years without back pain, joint pain, ect... So, so worth it!!!
And as far so the sodas go, girl, I understand. Man, I had several sodas everyday and haven't had 1 since 5/10. Haven't missed them. I was really tired right after surgery, but I am sure it was due to healing, going off caffeine, and going off sugar and now my energy levels have definately gone up. Trust me, you will not regret it. Best thing I ever did. I feel like my life is starting over again at age 33!! It's a true second chance and how often do you get those in life???? I would do it again in a heartbeat.
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