Deep breath...and dive in...
This is a big thing for me to post about but I know I am posting in the right place with people who've been there. I'll jut be copying my blog post but there are a few questions within the post that I'm sure folks may be able to answer.
So here goes...
I'm not sure how many people use their blogs. I suppose I use mine infrequently here. I generally only post things related to getting qualified for WLS and anything involving it.
I'm getting anxious about things, that's why I am up at 4:10am writing this. In short this is what I've come to wondering;
I go on the scale a few days ago, weight 612...a bad wow moment for me. I've been dieting the last three months and it makes me wonder what I was before. I was literally terrified to get on that scale. I didn't want to know. Then one day last week I said to myself that it was something that I needed to do. So I did it, looked at it a minute and almost broke.
I'm a stubborn person by nature, strong-willed but kind and funny in unexpected ways. Nothing would have prepared me for that. I knew when I first went to have my lymphedema treated that I was up in the 500's when they weighed me in the bed with full bandages on.
It's hard doing this when no one around me understands. My sister does, she is going through it to. My parents don't and they are the ones I want to understand. I live with them because of some really bad life and financial decisions I made when I was a younger and lighter me. I can't eat what they normally do. Yet they think I can even whn I continually tell them I can't. It's like this freaking circus right out of a horror movie.
Please, don't think they are bad people, they are't. They grew up meat and poatoes, you clean your plate. In fact that's how I was raised myself. I want to do things like water aerobics (which is where I am going this morning and signing up) and while they hear what I say and nod their head. It seems like they feign interest.
So where does the anxiety come in? Monday I go to see the psychologist and then I can go to Frye and set up a date for the education class and the surgeon. So, I'm anxious about all this. and wanting to get down to 500 before my surgery date. I'm just guessing that is what will be asked of me. That along with the NAFLD just makes me all anxious and a ball of nerves.
I'm not worried about my ability to stay on task, I'm worried about my ability to continue to keep calm despite the anger and annoyance within me because I have to repeat myself constantly.
We'll see where it goes.
As for the Lecture, that's a simple one. Has anyone read Randy Pauchs' book The Last Lecture? I did when it was first published and I just began it again after finding when I moved a few weeks ago. It's amazing, simply that.
So here goes...
I'm not sure how many people use their blogs. I suppose I use mine infrequently here. I generally only post things related to getting qualified for WLS and anything involving it.
I'm getting anxious about things, that's why I am up at 4:10am writing this. In short this is what I've come to wondering;
I go on the scale a few days ago, weight 612...a bad wow moment for me. I've been dieting the last three months and it makes me wonder what I was before. I was literally terrified to get on that scale. I didn't want to know. Then one day last week I said to myself that it was something that I needed to do. So I did it, looked at it a minute and almost broke.
I'm a stubborn person by nature, strong-willed but kind and funny in unexpected ways. Nothing would have prepared me for that. I knew when I first went to have my lymphedema treated that I was up in the 500's when they weighed me in the bed with full bandages on.
It's hard doing this when no one around me understands. My sister does, she is going through it to. My parents don't and they are the ones I want to understand. I live with them because of some really bad life and financial decisions I made when I was a younger and lighter me. I can't eat what they normally do. Yet they think I can even whn I continually tell them I can't. It's like this freaking circus right out of a horror movie.
Please, don't think they are bad people, they are't. They grew up meat and poatoes, you clean your plate. In fact that's how I was raised myself. I want to do things like water aerobics (which is where I am going this morning and signing up) and while they hear what I say and nod their head. It seems like they feign interest.
So where does the anxiety come in? Monday I go to see the psychologist and then I can go to Frye and set up a date for the education class and the surgeon. So, I'm anxious about all this. and wanting to get down to 500 before my surgery date. I'm just guessing that is what will be asked of me. That along with the NAFLD just makes me all anxious and a ball of nerves.
I'm not worried about my ability to stay on task, I'm worried about my ability to continue to keep calm despite the anger and annoyance within me because I have to repeat myself constantly.
We'll see where it goes.
As for the Lecture, that's a simple one. Has anyone read Randy Pauchs' book The Last Lecture? I did when it was first published and I just began it again after finding when I moved a few weeks ago. It's amazing, simply that.
Hi Scott,
First of all let me welcome you and say you're posting in the right place.. i know all to well the fear of the scale.. i was over 500 lbs an then some before i started my journey 453 when i finally got into a wls pre-program..
i think the hardest part of this journey is everyday things... that most dont think about but we 50+'ers do... and ppl around us just do not understand... they think we can eat the "CRAP" they do an be a size 2 if we only limit our portions... well its a known fact that that is not true... the heavier u are the lower ur metabolism tends to be.. so if we eat a salad (real dressing) we can gain weight.. let alone fat soaked pot roast, potatos with cream n butter... etc.. thats like 6 lbs just thinkin about it... lol.. ok not funny but u know what i mean.. an who can stop at just one single portion of anything that tastes wortha damn... sincerely.. i dont know how u feel about meal supplements etc.. but if ur planning on surgery an it seems like u are... try to find a protein shake u can tolerate. an do 2 shakes a day an one meal.... anything u want to eat.... even a double helping... i did that for 6 months an dropped over 50lbs b4 surgery an it helped me get into the mind set of being on liquids post op... i use walmart body fortress shakes.. cheap an good if made into some decaf coffee or skim milk www.walmart.com/ip/Body-Fortress-Super-Advanced-Whey-Protein -Chocolate-Peanut-Butter-Supplement-2-Lb/13274590 just drink an it gives ur body a jump start to weightloss... no im not endorsing the product etc.. its just what works for me.... right after surgery shakes were too thick so i was on isopure protein water... www.theisopurecompany.com/drinks.php but now when i have a i dont feel like eating day.. post op u do get those ugh no food pls days... i drink my shakes an know my body got what it needed....best an final advice i can offer is........... take measurements of ur entire body...... now.. dont wait..... because later on when all else seems lost.. an ur not losing weight an ur busting ur butt thinkin what am i doing wrong.......... measure urself again an u will be amazed how ur body is morphing an ur mind and eyes just dont see it yet... losing mega amounts of inches over all.. and take some full body pics just for ur own self u dont have to show them to anyone.. this will help later on as well to see how far u have come... even if u take the pics an dont want to look at them now.. and think omg how did i let myself come to this...... trust me...... they will make u proud later on... when u can say look what i have done loook how far i have come.. good luck with ur journey... u can do it... baby steps.. u didnt gain all the weight over nite dont expect to lose it to fast... just take steps in the right direction an u can accomplish any goals u set ur mind to...
Peggy
Welcome Scott,
You are definitely in the right place! I don't have any great advice, just know that we will be here for you every step of the way and you can make it. I totally agree with the 2 protein shakes a day and one meal plan, worked wonders for me and I could easily handle it. Just take one step/one day/one minute at a time and you will get there!
You are definitely in the right place! I don't have any great advice, just know that we will be here for you every step of the way and you can make it. I totally agree with the 2 protein shakes a day and one meal plan, worked wonders for me and I could easily handle it. Just take one step/one day/one minute at a time and you will get there!
MaryEllen OntheEastCoast
on 4/29/10 3:59 am - CT
on 4/29/10 3:59 am - CT
I just finished reading your profile and wish you the very best. You may have a longer road than some, but you would be traveling down that road anyway, fat or not. I think you have what it takes to be successful. I hope you keep posting because I will follow your story.
It's great that you have support in your sister, and you have found us too! This board has been a tremendous support system for me. Seems like you've got your mind staight, just stick to it. And remember it is a journey... you will find that there is more mental work to be done along the way than you expect (at least for most) so be sure to set up that expectation and how to deal with it, you will be doing yourself a huge favor. And as for "The Last Lecture" I actually listened to the book on CD recently on a drive to NC, it is truly inspiring. I would like to actually watch the lecture itself. Your right it is simply amazing. Live your dreams!
Hi Scott!
I'm wishing you all the very best! I hope you are enjoying the water aerobics.
Have you ever heard of the Duodenal Switch (DS)surgery? I was planning to have bypass, in fact I had completed all my prereqs and was only 3 weeks away when my surgeon's clinic was closed and, while scrambling for a new surgeon, I learned about DS here on this site. If you're interested you can check out the DS forum and also DSFACTS.com. Basically, what convinced me was two things, first, the odds are so much better for someone my size that I will never regain the weight and second, I can eat a lot more after DS than I would be able to after RNY.
Whichever way you decide, may you have great success!
I'm wishing you all the very best! I hope you are enjoying the water aerobics.
Have you ever heard of the Duodenal Switch (DS)surgery? I was planning to have bypass, in fact I had completed all my prereqs and was only 3 weeks away when my surgeon's clinic was closed and, while scrambling for a new surgeon, I learned about DS here on this site. If you're interested you can check out the DS forum and also DSFACTS.com. Basically, what convinced me was two things, first, the odds are so much better for someone my size that I will never regain the weight and second, I can eat a lot more after DS than I would be able to after RNY.
Whichever way you decide, may you have great success!
Most Active
Recent Topics
