Need help seeing the glass half full...
This is a long and winding road...that's a song isn't it? lol something new at every turn, but no time to stop!!! Can you imagine all the weight I have lost and i'm STILL fat? well...it's ok. Because now I can walk, chase the dog around the living room, fit in my seatbelt, belly not rubbing the steering wheel, man...life is good!
Please go look at my before pics on my profile. You see, for every pound you have to lose I had to lose like 3 or 4 times that amount or more. I have no idea how I was surviving, but I guess we all do what we need to do.
I think alot of the weight was just to make me invisible, and it worked in some ways, because people would look away, but then again some would stare. Now people look...smile...say hello..it is like a whole different world. My grandmother saw me talking to my son on skype while he was at her house in NY and she told me I look like i could be 20...gotta love grandmother's LOL
The best advice I can give you is celebrate what you've done. I have said before if I had to focus on losing 397 pounds (and will still be considered obese) I think i would have put the covers over my head and given up. But instead, i celebrate how much better I feel every day, the new clothes, the welcomed compliments and thank God for my surgeon, dr that helped me with my 6 month supv diet and the insurance company for all helping to save my life.
This is afterall, most importantly about the life we have to live and not the number on the scale or on the tag inside our clothes. Keep your head up...you're really doing great, and the best is still yet to come!!! Sometimes looking where you came from is instrumental in helping you to keep moving forward.
Thank you.
I love us! You all are so great. And I soooo love the circus fat comment.
I confess, I made my goal higher than insurance weight as I was told it would be a healthy weight for me personally and about what would be expected with my surgery. If I can do better, great, but if I can't . . . and then this morning I was seeing that some people who lost 25-30 pounds were now about at my goal of 185 and I was thinking, hmmm, totally different level of fat. Not that I didn't think I was fatter than fat when I was 200ish, but it isn't the same as being 300+ or 400+
As of today, I am down 100 pounds. You can see it a little bit in my face, but I am just now changing sizes on my clothing as there wasn't really need. It'll be nice to get someplace where losing 20 pounds might make a size difference.
♪ ♫ ♪ lost 75 pre-op, surgery 1/20/10, 125+ since RNY, 200+ pounds off ♪ ♫ ♪
It sucks sometimes to see how far we have to go...and it makes us lose sight of how far we've come. I'm on a bit of a slower journey since I havent had any surgery yet at this point but I'm working it for all I can... doesnt matter HOW we get there to being healthy just as long as we dont give up on ourselves...EVER, EVER, again!
Oh LORD! When I read through this thread, it was like you were all thinking my own thoughts! I haven't moved around in the forums much, pretty much staying on the main board, and I can tell you, it didn't take me long to figure out that my degree of fat was way yonder in a different category than most of the posters in the main forum. Truly, I was in the 'circus fat' category.
So many of them get to goal in 6-10 months, it floored me. Especially when I looked at my own progress at 6 months (which had gone slower than most of them even though my BMI was - and still is - so much higher) and could not help but say to myself "and still, hardly anyone can even tell you've lost any weight at all...". It was demoralizing. And then, if I tried to express that among them, I would get the "we're all different" story tossed at me from a dozen different directions. Well DUH. And I can tell you, I got sick of that pretty quick because it was clear that they did not get that MY DIFFERENCE makes this process last so much longer and it has the ability to make you feel like it's impossible, even with wls.
I am so thankful I've finally found a place where people really understand what starting at nearly 400 pounds means in the day to day struggles. I am also surprised to note that many of you talk about 'extended stalls' and this is something the light weights don't seem to struggle as much with. I don't know. Everyone, even my doc, expected me to loose faster because of my high BMI, and I have done well. I can't complain about 100 pounds in just over 6 months. But even a cursory look at tickers on the forums page will reveal that I have not lost at the rate may of the light weights loose. My thyroid level is normal, at this point I get between 800-1000 calories a day and usually get between 70-100 grams of protein. I lay low on the carbs and leave off white carbs pretty much completely (getting between 30-60 carbs a day). I journal almost every day.
I've done all I know to do to make it go faster, and finally I just came to the realization, it's gonna be what it's gonna be. I just have to be faithful to do my best to do my part every day and move as much as I can and just understand, it's going to take me a lot longer than it takes a lightweight. And really, I am glad for them. I'm glad they don't have the same things to struggle with that we do. Wouldn't wish that on anybody.
Whew. What a relief. Thanks for listening, but most of all, thanks for being there and for understanding - really understanding!!! connie
It sure helps to see how everyone else deals with this process. I guess we belong to the same circus!! lol We have the times that are like high flyers (losing fast), the jugglers (the stalls), the clowns (the scale looks at us and laughs and we cry), and the Ringmasters (when we feel like we're running the show, and are confident). Did I just RUN with Patti's example or what?! I'll blame the double protein coffee I'm drinking.
Lots of love and hugs!!
It's about the Wow's!
